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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have you ever experienced a foot-fetishist or what would you make of this in yoga? AIBU?

13 replies

Oooom · 11/03/2020 18:12

Hi I’ve had to name-change for this obviously. My yoga teacher is a lovely man from Northern Tibet and we’ve always got on well. Sometimes there’s several of us in the class, but other times it’s just me.
I feel a bit weird today because sometimes he will grip my ankles feet quite hard and he’ll talk about releasing pressure points or something like that, in the way a reflexologist might (albeit a quite extreme one). But more recently, he’s doing this a lot and today it was so painful, I couldn’t move or breathe and I told him this. He said I needed to put up with it (or worlds to that effect).
I realise this sounds odd, but I just feel he’s always going for my feet and today did feel strange, though I’m not particularly threatened by him or anything. But it did also occur to me that he could be a foot-fetishist? I don’t want to over-react obviously, however it’s not the first time I’ve thought this, but I’ve always told myself I’m imagining it.
Has anyone ever experienced such a thing? I’m not sure what to think because to me, a foot is a foot. Is this fairly common or am I being over dramatic?

OP posts:
Neepandtatties · 11/03/2020 18:14

Even if he is, hurting you isn't acceptable. My gym instructor does the grabbing ankle for stretching thing and it is uncomfortable sometimes.

TabbyStar · 11/03/2020 18:16

I don't know about the foot fetish part but I've done a lot of yoga and have never heard of this. It's definitely not right that you have to put up with something that hurts you and stops you breathing. Sounds like he is generally overstepping his role. If it was me I wouldn't go back and I would make a complaint if it's possible.

BadgertheBodger · 11/03/2020 18:17

I think if someone does something to you which renders you incapable of moving or breathing and tells you to put up with it when you ask them stop, there is no overreaction possible tbh. Lots of horrible men out there who enjoy crossing boundaries and making women uncomfortable, it’s often a sign they will escalate the behaviour. Personally I wouldn’t go back.

SignOnTheWindow · 11/03/2020 18:18

You should never, ever, EVER have to put up with something that makes you feel uncomfortable.

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 11/03/2020 18:21

It doesn’t matter if it’s entirely normal for yoga- what matters is that it hurts you and you don’t like it. So it doesn’t get to happen again. Regardless of what he says. Be firm. If he comes near your feet again tell him your feet are fine, you don’t want any support. If he insists just leave.

MissConductUS · 11/03/2020 18:24

I've dated a few foot fetishists. I seem to attract them somehow. His behavior isn't consistent with my experience of them wanting to fondle them, kiss them and some things I'll leave to your imagination.

I think he's just found something that upsets you and makes you fearful and is exploiting it. Fuck that. Find a new yoga class.

Sparklesocks · 11/03/2020 18:31

I haven’t heard of it, and yoga is meant to relax you - not be painful and cause great discomfort. Next time he tries just say you don’t want to do that, you’re under no obligation - especially in something which is meant to be enjoyable and a hobby!

Oooom · 11/03/2020 18:31

Well maybe I do have very sensitive feet because I went to a reflexologist once and nearly jumped off the bed. As I say, I don’t feel uncomfortable around him, otherwise I wouldn’t do the sessions. I’ve known him years and he’s met my husband quite a few times, so I just don’t know. Maybe he doesn’t realise how much certain pressure points hurt me, or it’s a bit like when you go for a massage and they’re trying to work on areas to release certain problem areas, or something like that?

OP posts:
whiplashy · 11/03/2020 18:34

tell him you only want verbal instructions, not physical adjustments

DNAwrangler · 11/03/2020 18:38

My yoga teacher has never done this. He sometimes adjusts shoulders or leg position etc, but never seen him touch feet/ankles.

AlwaysColdHands · 11/03/2020 18:49

I’m a yoga teacher- he shouldn’t be doing this, regardless of whether he has a foot fetish!
Depends on the kind of relationship you have with him: either talk to him or find a new class in my opinion.
I don’t think it’s ok for him to do this

Oooom · 11/03/2020 19:07

Thanks, yes in future I’ll just have to tell him firmly I don’t want this, but I just find the whole scenario odd, especially as today it was only me there and in all other ways everything is fine. I’m mean he always does this a bit and I’ve seen him do it to other people a little too, but today was different.

OP posts:
Lordfrontpaw · 11/03/2020 19:11

Kick him (gently) on the nose? I’ve been doing yoga and Pilates on and off for over 20 years and the instructors have never touched my feet!

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