Quick q about how maintanance is calculated

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Hello. A quick question please as I am in the process of receiving abusive e mails from my exh regarding maintenance. He currently pays a total of 20% of his salary towards him s children's expenses. He sees two evenings per week for two hours at a time, does not feed them etc. Just a visit. He also sees them every other weekend. They have dinner/ laundry etc with me, go in Friday night and come back before dinner on Sunday.
His outgoings and effort are minimal when with him. He does not do any activities etc. During his time with them so financially he incurs very little.
He will only agree to one weeks holiday with them ( 5 annual leave days) during their entire school holidays in the summer. I am a teacher so the children will be with me. He will commit to 5 days over Christmas but at no other holiday will he be taking annual leave to spend time with them.
I receive benefit for my child with sn and he wants this an child benefit put into the pot for total outgoings for the children. He wants to base his contribution on the total
Amount in that pot . He currently claims have that tax credit.
I have refused asI feel that I need those additional monies to support my child/ children and he has factored £10 per week for ' entertainment' for each child between us.
AIBU . Thanks

Please?

www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance

What a twat Child benefit doesn't affect what he has to pay, and he doesn't get to decide that £10 gets spent on entertainment.

You are the resident parent. He doesn't get to decide what you spend money on. You are entitled to 16% of his income for 2 children, 19% if there are 3. (Will vary if he lives with /pays for other kids or has a very low /high income) He has no say in what this money is spent on, and cannot offset it with benefits you may receive. (Do not allow him to claim child benefit or tax credits for the kids it will get very messy!)

Use the cms calculator, there's no argument then (although by the sounds of things he'd find owe)

He has no right to control how money is spent. His suggestions are at best stupid and at worst controlling. Don't acquiesce to things like this; he's being a dick.

Thanks

As others said use the online calculator it’s pretty much accurate and is based on how many nights he has them.

As for demanding he essentially gets a cut of the child benefit he can get in the fucking bin. It’s staggering how many piece of shit so called fathers are so fucking selfish and greedy they’d take from their kids.

Honestly just ho to the cms. To not have to have a conversation about it , that is worth the £20z

My ex also tried to suggest he get a cut of child benefit & tax credits. They're awful people. And don't give into that bollocks. Use the calculator then go from there.

He wants to include all benefits in calculating his total maintenance that he has to give me. I currently pay off the total car loan. He is trying to make me sell it and take ' his share' . This is in response to me asking him
Politely who his affair partner is and he absolutely blew up in rage . So I think I will sell it as he blows up
Every time I anger him( in his eyes) and get him off my back.
He spends approx 15% of his time with them and complained to them
About the cost of a take away . Beggars belief. After he pays maintenance he has £500 left per week for himself. It's a mans world for sure!

It's a mans world for sure!

It's not, though. Not really.

When those lovely DC have grown up and want nothing to do with him, when his Grandchildren are strangers, when he cheats on this new woman with the next one, and the next one, and the next one, and ends his life alone, he's not going to look back and think "I wish I'd cheated more". It's only a man's world if you want what the men have.

Stay true to what you know is right; be a spectacular parent, focus on your own happiness and let that cockrocket live his shitty, tawdry, miserly life of misery. People who behave this way don't find happiness, ever.

Wow that was amazing! Thank so much x

@FudgeBrownie2019 you are so right. My own father lived a selfish life, moving from woman to woman. He is now nearing the end of his life and is finally reaping what he sowed.

The car, benefits etc have nothing to do with child maintenance.

As I understand it cm is based on his earnings and the number of nights the nrp has the child/rent. Not what you have, get or spend. You can't make him step up his parenting game unfortunately.

Ren not rent.....

Don't sell the car! Unless it genuinely benefits you to do so.

Don't be bullied by him.

Absolutely go through cms if he's a paye employee but bear in mind they're pretty crap and you have to be really on the ball with them and pester them.

The benefits you get for the dc as the resident parent and how you spend your budget are absolutely NONE of his business.

You have to be quite stoic and "grey rock" to deal with ex's really that's the best way. Only discuss matters concerning contact times and dates and other dc matters that are his business - what happens when they're with you excepting if there were neglect/abuse of course - is none of his business.

My ex was similar I've had 17 years of his shit! Wish I had known of mn much earlier than I did I have many regrets and gave him way too much power over dd and I, I was too free with what I told him in a vain effort to get him to be a loving and involved father which in hindsight was never gonna happen!

Good luck, post on mn you'll get great advice here.

Thank you !