My dad has recently come into some money, not masses, but a substantial amount that could make a huge difference to him. He knew about getting this money in advance and has voiced his wish to gift some to DP and I to help us to move into a (rented) house. We repeatedly showed our gratitude, but said we would be more comfortable if the money were a loan.
Today, without saying anything, he's put money into my bank account, and it's a lot more than I had expected. I'm really not comfortable accepting it, but I'm not sure how to articulate why. Because I've been anxious and unwell recently, I got DP to text him instead of me doing it, just saying we've seen the money, would you like to come over to chat about it later on. Dad has now text me saying that the money is to help us move house when we're ready as well as extra for another expense and treats for us, and he's said that he told me he would. (except this isnt what we agreed, and I know he will refuse us paying him back)
He has form for over giving. Will pay for everything - whatever we're buying when we're in the shop with him, meals, household items, even cars. He isn't well off, he works for minimum wage. We, as well as another family member, had to actually really tell him off last year when it got too much, as though he's a child who doesn't listen. It really doesn't feel like he's doing it out of the goodness of his heart as he makes out, but again I can't articulate why I feel this way.
I really don't want to accept the full amount of this money, but I don't want to cause an argument because I don't have the strength to deal with it. He'll come over and tell me I'm being ungrateful and unreasonable and that we shouldn't feel guilty about accepting money because he's my dad and should be able to do nice things, etc. But it doesn't feel like a 'nice' thing to do.
YABU = Take the full amount of the cash with gratitude.
YANBU = It is weird and too much. Give half back and take the rest as a loan.
Bonus points if you help me articulate why I feel this way. Sorry for the long post.