Adult parenting

[xyz1000]

I have been a single Mum for most of my lads life. He is now 22 and I just feel like I have had enough. He lives with me and I just don’t want to he parenting an adult. Nothing seems to have changed since he was 13/14 to be honest. Apart from now it is more difficult as there is no control from me. He doesn’t want to do his washing. He leaves the bedding on his bed for weeks. Cooks and leaves a mess in the kitchen. He was financially dependent on me most of last year. He lies a lot to me and I can hardly believe a word he says to me. I want the best for him but I don’t think he is ever going to grow up. I am just thinking when will this end. I am emotionally and physically drained. I have my own health condition to deal with and work two jobs then do everything at home.
He “says” he wants to live here until he saves enough money to get a mortgage around five years. Which would be prefect if he was easier to live with. I feel so torn in two inside one half is saying stick with it and help him, the other is shouting no you shouldn’t have to be feeling like crap. anymore. His room has just been decorated.
So the question is am I being unreasonable to say I now want to live alone!
Thanks

If he is planning to stay until he gets a deposit then you sit him down and he pays lower rent then he would elsewhere, he sticks by the rules he would have to live by if he was renting and had housemates: rent and bills on X date in full. The house clean and tidy. He does his own laundry and keeps his space clean. If he can’t, he moves out. He’s 22, not 15, he can live on his own two feet. If he can’t, that’s his problem.

You need to establish your house rules and either he sticks to them or he moves out.

I have a 22 year old DS still living at home. He does his own laundry, cooks for himself most days, cooks for DH & me (and himself) once a week and does jobs round the house when I ask him to like dusting and hoovering, plus daily dishwasher emptying. I insist on bedding changes every two weeks and all glasses and crockery brought downstairs daily, other than that I'm not too tough

I do sympathise though, parenting a young adult is a lot more difficult than you expect it will be. My main advice to you is don't be afraid to get tough. You are effectively two adults sharing a living space now, and he has to step up or ship out. I'd also say, don't worry about the state of his room. If he wants to sleep in a messy bed, that's his problem not yours. Just shut the door if it bothers you too much.

Give him his notice, 3 months to find his own place to rent. Hes a grown adult. You'll be doing him a favour in the long run. Nobody wants to date a manbaby who lives with his mummy out of laziness.

10 percent mortgages are available, he doesnt need to live with you until hes pushing 30 to save for a deposit.

I agree, it's time for some ground rules. You have no obligation to house your adult son so if he can't respect your shared living space, he'll have to find his own.

It is good to know that 10% mortgages are available.
I will give it a go with the ground rules.
Thank you all for taking the time to reply. Feels much better just to get it out of my head!