Giving up the dummy

[MummyGoingItAlone]

My son is turning 20 months on Friday. He only has a dummy for sleeping. The last month or so the tantrums have really started! He’s in full time nursery and as good as gold there. I usually get a tantrum on the way out each evening. He happily toddles along the short walk to the car, explores, jumps in puddles etc but as soon as I try to put him in the car he kicks off because he’s tired and a dummmy is the only thing that stops him going full meltdown. At the weekends I try and keep him active and busy but we still get tantrums when he can’t go where he wants or we have to leave. I always use distraction but have gone for a dummy when it’s too much 😩

We moved house and nursery 3 weeks ago and he’s settled well but he’s started asking for his dummy during the day and having meltdowns if I ask him for it (I never take it off him, just ask him to hand it over.)

I really want rid of it. I’m thinking cold turkey as he’s a little young to understand giving it away for example.

I’m a single mum with a high powered, busy job so want minimal disruption if at all possible! I’m thinking the long Easter weekend to go cold turkey.

Any advice much appreciated x

If you want rid of it, get rid of it.

I think doing it during the holidays is a good idea. You'll have the time and energy to stick with it.

Perhaps the Easter bunny can take it away with him and leave something nice in return

Following! Similar situation here ...

My dd was only ever allowed hers at night, really didn't bother me her having it then. She knew it stayed upstairs in her bedroom and that was that. She voluntarily gave it up recently (she's 3). Could that be a compromise so you still sleep at night?! I tried to get rid of hers about a year before and while she tried to be brave she just could not drop off at night and it was hard for all of us. Waiting til she was ready was much easier. I'd definitely get rid of it in the day times though.

Too early IMHO

Let him have it

my boy is 4 next month and only in the last 2 weeks has not bothered too much when he wants his dummy at bedtime, hes stopped by himself a while ago in the day, now hes less wanting it at all at night, found it easier to let them stop using it themselves than force the issue

I can’t imagine taking away my LO dummy - similar age to yours.
They use it for sleeping but also as a soother when a bit upset during the day or when they’re in the car for a while / longer buggy ride.
Obviously it’s up to you but I don’t really see the issue if he appears to still need it for comfort. I’d not take away something which made my child feel calm and safe and comforted.

Sounds like a lot of upheaval recently. I'd wait until things settle down a bit more. I thought it would never happen naturally with one of mine and was worried about it at about that age, and they were gone within a few weeks without much fuss.

We did this at 3, when the dentist could tell by her teeth she had a dummy. My DD only had hers at night too. We took it away, had 4 nights of hell then all forgotten. She can't even remember any of it now (aged 9).

I think the idea of doing it over the easter weekend is a good one, and the short term pain of tantrums etc will be worth it in the long run

I think 20 months is very young to remove the dummy if they are into it.

The dummy fairy came to our house at about 3 1/2 years old.

I still have all the dummies in a drawer, I couldn't bear to throw them away.

Cold turkey. Just do it and put up with a few days of him being unsettled.

I think you need to go cold turkey asap - all the advice ive been given (dentist, HV, internet) says get rid of the dummy between 9-12months so tbh youre probably risking damage to his teeth at this point.

He’s so young. Let him keep it until things settle down a bit.
It’s such a comfort for him, why would you take that comfort away from him?

Honestly, wait until he’s old enough to understand.

Waited till he was old enough to understand, around the same age as your son.

Hid them all away one day, and when he asked for it just kept telling him I didn't know where it was and to go and look for it himself. He soon gave up looking, think it took about 3 days before he stopped asking.

Honestly I was dreading getting rid of them, but in reality it wasn't too bad. You just need everyone to be on board and not give in and give it back when the going gets tough for a bit. It will soon be over and be a long distant memory.

He's 2 now, sees his baby sister's dummy now and isn't in the least bit bothered. Has tried to suck it a few times and doesn't even remember how!

When you decide to go for it do not change your mind. Snip all the tests and throw away so that you can’t give them over and you have to follow through with it

Took my ds to the dentist at just past 2 and he said "he has an overbite because of the dummy, his palate will be affected too". He's never seen DS before so it wasn't prior knowledge. And DS only had it at night. His speech wasn't affected etc.

If you've just moved house Its a lot of upheaval. Easter weekend is a good shout. Cut the teats off, put them in the bin. Then you can't give it back. The dummy fairy brought DS a new toy (and a new toothbrush) for a swap.

It was a couple of nights of major sadness. Then he asked for it for about a week but accepted it was gone. Hasn't mentioned a dummy in aaages.

My dd was very persistent about having hers! Had it for much longer than 20 months.
I dont see the problem but if you're going to do it, Easter is a good time and also the suggestion of easter bunny present.
We tried it and similar things but didn't work out!
Long gone now though