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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what you’d ask for to make this right?

16 replies

ShellsAndSunrises · 10/03/2020 20:09

I get married in just over two months, and the venue has undergone a massive change. We were not told that this would be happening when we booked it.

Picture the main hall of a country house - it had a beautiful wood-panelled room with a large window looking out over the grounds, and a waterfall. At the back; stairs come down into the room from a balcony above. We were going to get married in front of the window, I’d come down the stairs onto the aisle, reception is in the same place but a different room.

There is now a large fixed bar on a wooden island right in front of the window. It can be somewhat covered by a large, ugly screen with a zig-zag pattern, but it’s still clear that everyone will be sat looking at a bar, and you can no longer see out of the window. It can’t be moved. The screen still leaves the top of the bar exposed.

The venue has offered us nothing yet, except that we can have the ceremony outside or in a smaller room which, to my mind, isn’t worth what we paid. Not even close. It’s got no windows, no wood panelling, no stairs... it’s a small restaurant room, however they dress it up. We’re going to see them in a few days...

What would you ask for? We were due to pay £5k, we’ve got about £800 left to pay. If I’m honest, I don’t really want to get married there at all now; but our invites have gone out and there’s so little time to find somewhere else... and it’s making me feel sick that we’ll have paid so much to get married somewhere that now looks like it should be a grand or two at most. That does include food/alcohol/etc, but we chose the venue for the room. It feels stupid but I’m so upset.

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 10/03/2020 21:25

I'd want half of my money back.

Orchidflower1 · 10/03/2020 21:27

Yes lots of money back.

ConcernedForAGoodFriend · 10/03/2020 21:34

I'd want a full refund and to find somewhere else. Is there anywhere close by that could work? As long as it's not too far from the original venue I don't think your guests will mind at all.

Dogsaresomucheasier · 10/03/2020 21:37

I’d want a substantial refund. If I could find a nicer option available on the right date within a 30 mile radius I’d cancel completely. That’s really shabby of them.

WickedlyPetite · 10/03/2020 21:43

You've posted about this before.

Did you contact the venue and explain your concerns?

Have they offered you anything?

AlCalavicci · 10/03/2020 21:43

IMO you paid for the room and all that goes with it , otherwise you would /could of got married at a motorway service station.

I would have a look around and see if you can find a nice venue instead , if you can then demand a full refund , if not then demand at least half of your money back

WickedlyPetite · 10/03/2020 21:45

Sorry just re-read, they've offered you nothing yet.

I'd probably want at least 50% refund but tbh I'd actually just want all my money back and to find another venue, even if that means putting the date back.

YakkityYakYakYak · 10/03/2020 22:13

Check your T&Cs to see if anything applicable in there

OwlinaTree · 10/03/2020 22:25

What's the bar for? Do you mean like a pole holding up the ceiling or a bar for serving drinks?

idontwanttogoooooooooooo · 10/03/2020 22:34

Can't they source a better screen and decorate with flowers in front of it .. you'll still get light from the window and they will use the screen again. I wouldn't get fixated on this, I know it seems massive now, but people are looking at you. And too much light behind you will mean people can't see you and bad for photography.

OscarWildesCat · 10/03/2020 22:41

I've seen this before, you had lots of advice last time, what have you done about it since your last post?

FlaskMaster · 10/03/2020 22:41

Cancel and insist on a full refund. They cannot offer what you booked and paid for, so they'll have to give your money back. It's unfair you have to find a new date and new venue, but you should have your wedding in a place you're happy with.
On another note, if it's a listed building, did they get permission to rip out the panelling etc? If not, they will have to put it back or they could be prosecuted if the Council get wind of it.

AlexaAmbidextra · 10/03/2020 23:10

Why post again?

ShellsAndSunrises · 11/03/2020 11:07

What's the bar for? Do you mean like a pole holding up the ceiling or a bar for serving drinks?

No a bar to serve drinks, which blocks the whole window. The room will now be mostly used as a drinks area with large colourful sofas, although they’d be removed for the ceremony.

you had lots of advice last time, what have you done about it since your last post?

Got a meeting with the venue, who showed me the final plans, and organised a meeting to go and talk to the duty manager in a few days as the events coordinator is off sick.

Why post again?

My one and only post about this was about how to contact the venue to tell them we knew about the new plans and word it in such a way that they’d meet with us and talk about options. This is after that stage, and I wondered what people would be happy getting at this point in proceedings, where we are weeks away and the bar is in.

Crikey there’s some hostile people on here, I just wanted an idea of what people thought was reasonable. I’ll make sure I don’t post about it again.

OP posts:
FlaskMaster · 11/03/2020 20:10

Just ignore the thread police op. And please do update us as what they say/what you decide.

Sparklfairy · 11/03/2020 20:16

You broke an MN rule of etiquette by not opening your OP with 'i had another thread about this...' Wink

Is it really too late to consider changing the venue? If so go in hard and push for a really heavy refund. This isn't the venue you agreed to.

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