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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Freemason's

95 replies

silky4960 · 10/03/2020 09:18

I have a lady friend who has informd me she is going to be initiated into the womans free masons, she hasnt googled what this entails but I have and are concerned as the initiation consistes of wearing a black skirt below the knee a white blouse and stockings, the candidate is then blindfolded and a noose put around their neck they then have to remove a stcoking to reveal a knee reveal a bare arm and this is what I find disturbing reveal a bare left breast, she is a vunerable lady, should I tell her what will happen?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 10/03/2020 10:17

And also OP, if you think this lady is vulnerable, why do you think exposing a breast is more disturbing than having a noose put around her neck?

GladAllOver · 10/03/2020 10:21

If you told us the woman was going to join MLM we'd be worried for her.
For the Freemasons? Nah!

OhCaptain · 10/03/2020 10:21

It sounds like you’re really trying to make it something it’s not @silky4960

I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s not like she’ll be forced into an orgy.

They always just strike me as overgrown kids who’ve taken a Dungeons & Dragons type interest a bit too far! 😂

I know there used to be a lot of mystery and fear around them but - well, they’re just a bit odd aren’t they? I wouldn’t worry.

undercoveraessedai · 10/03/2020 10:22

If you told us the woman was going to join MLM we'd be worried for her.
For the Freemasons? Nah!

You have won the internet today, @gladallover!

OhCaptain · 10/03/2020 10:23

If you told us the woman was going to join MLM we'd be worried for her.
For the Freemasons? Nah!

😂

CarolinaPink · 10/03/2020 10:23

Seems to me that anybody who wants to join a 'secret' society to try to get a leg up on non-members deserves anything they get.

whiskeylullaby2 · 10/03/2020 10:48

They always just strike me as overgrown kids who’ve taken a Dungeons & Dragons type interest a bit too far!

THIS

FrancisCrawford · 10/03/2020 10:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

silky4960 · 10/03/2020 11:25

FrancisCrawford by the mens initiation the left breast is exposed

OP posts:

WalkingDeadTrainee · 10/03/2020 11:41

You still haven't explained why is she vulnerable (no family isn't really that) and why do you find revealing left breast disturbing.
You are either messing with people today or even you yourself aren't sure and just freaked after hearing "Freemasons".

Doodlekitty · 10/03/2020 12:06

My DH is a fm and mil was a lady Mason. I haven't asked her but I can't imagine her being willing to be bare breasted
Dh states that in the male 'ritual' this part is to prove you are what you say you are. You reveal your leg to show you are a free person (no shackles), your arm to show no brands and your chest to prove you are male. He imagines this will be echoed in some way but doubts it is through the baring of breasts. Through my experience as a masons wife, I would guess they need to take their ironing board to prove they are female!

OhCaptain · 10/03/2020 12:34

It’s sounds horrendous and sexist. Why would anyone want to be a part of that shite? Really now!

Sweetbabycheezits · 10/03/2020 12:52

If your friend is doing this willingly, they will prepare her to some degree about what will happen on the initiation. It's all a bit daft, so not everyone's cup of tea, but she'll be fine.

My DH is a FM. Even he pokes a bit of fun at some of the rituals they perform at meetings, but overall, he's made some brilliant friends. When he was working away for 10 months, many people from his lodge rang me, or popped in just to check on DCs and I while he was gone. Sexist? Sure, I'm pretty capable, but it was nice to know there was some support if it was needed, and it was reassuring for DH to think we were being looked out for. My DD and I refer to it as his "Sexist Man Club" as a joke, but I can't get too worked up about it, they're nice people, and they do a hell of a lot for our community.

Mikeymoo12 · 10/03/2020 13:00

Flopping her boobs out 🤣🤣 best thread I've read today

ConcernedForAGoodFriend · 10/03/2020 13:01

Op, take no notice of the negative comments.

From what I can see you're a kind person who's concerned about a friend after learning about something that's shocked you.

You don't owe anyone an explanation as to why she's vulnerable. I think if I genuinely had no idea what the initiation entailed and suddenly I found myself being undressed and with a noise around my neck I would probably freak out too. Given some of the traumas I've been through in my life (that have left me with ptsd) then that's not unreasonable at all. I'm sure there'd be people on here who'd say that someone with ptsd wouldn't be a candidate to join anyway but the truth is no-one else knows but me. I hide it well. For all we know the same night be said of your friend, Op.

It's reassuring to hear some positive comments about the Freemasons, the ceremony itself and how supportive they are but those comments should have started with 'don't worry, Op, I know you're concerned about your friend but...' rather than a straight out attack on someone who obviously doesn't have much experience of it themselves and is looking for some genuine advice.

Owlypants · 10/03/2020 13:02

What's wrong with getting a boob out in a room full of women? Mn is full of threads about breastfeeding in public places, so it's ok to flop one out in Tesco but not at the female only initiation where all present have done the same?

OhCaptain · 10/03/2020 13:11

and they do a hell of a lot for our community.

Really? What do they do? Genuinely curious!

GladAllOver · 10/03/2020 13:12

I don't think I could watch a ceremony like that with a straight face, but if it gains her a group of caring friends then don't put her off.

ConcernedForAGoodFriend · 10/03/2020 13:14

There's absolutely nothing wrong with getting a boob out in a room full of women as long as that woman is comfortable doing so. Not everyone is. I know plenty of people who've always breastfed in private for this reason too.

Skyejuly · 10/03/2020 13:21

The noose sounds more concerning to me.

Reginabambina · 10/03/2020 13:26

I’m sorry but if you can’t cope with a line breast being briefly exposed in public there’s something wrong with you. You’re not one of these people that screams at breastfeeding mothers in restaurants are you?

Yerroblemom1923 · 10/03/2020 13:37

What's the noose all about?! Genuinely concerned by this. If it is a cult and your friend is vulnerable then she's easy fodder for them. Admittedly I don't know a great deal about the FM and it may not be a cult but it all sounds cult-ish to me.

Original poster

silky4960 · 10/03/2020 13:47

Reginabambina i have no problem with women breast feeding as that has a function to feed a child.

OP posts:

Sweetbabycheezits · 10/03/2020 13:52

OhCaptain my DHs Lodge organises Community clean ups once a year...they get volunteers, usually provide refreshments, and everyone cracks on. They collect food parcels for Christmas and Easter, and the money from some of their events is donated to local food banks. They visit with the widows of members, and if they are handy, will do odd jobs for them when needed. They have a couple of big member events per year, and the committee will identify a local charity to donate the funds to. One of the older members lost his wife recently, so they organised a special meal for him (one of tue members owns a pub), and donated the money we paid for our meals to a charity that was dear to this man's late wife.
So, they take care of their own, but they do look outward to help out in our local area when there is need.
So, while I do agree that it is a bit of a sexist man club, I can't fault them...they aren't just drinking, beating their chests and having a macho contest, they do genuinely want to be of service.

WalkingDeadTrainee · 10/03/2020 13:57

It sounds kind of like how communities used to function! before people stopped opening their door and saying hi to a neighbour became a sign of being a psycho...

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