Making teenager study

[teenageangst3]

I am actually tearing my hair out trying to get my teenager to do homework or study.
First year of GCSEs and last few years cruised along minimum effort but would excel if we sat beside her to revise (usually night before)

We are mentally exhausted by all the conflict, screaming and lies.
She does no work and I mean nothing - homework rarely done and seems no punishment for this. I assume she copies others before class. Totally checked out and doesn't care less. I know she will fail and won't care. She's such a bright child and was top in every class last few years.

@Whitelisbon and @steppemum - those are genius ways to build incentive.

I've a y10 too who is getting overwhelmed with life at the moment.

Setting sights on being a vet is very high. I'm not surprised she's sort of paralysed.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

How do you work for GCSEs? One piece of homework and 1 test at a time.

Can you get her to focus on short term things - the next homework, the next test, rather than on the gigantic mountain of 'GCSEs'?

The other thing is look at what options there are after GCSEs. If she wants to work with animals she can start with anything from a Level 2 BTEC in Animal Care all the way to Science A levels. Even if she doesn't end up as a vet, she could do vet nursing or something else.
It's not vet or nothing, not straight 8/9s or failure. She just needs to keep plugging away.

Can you set some short term rewards to get her going again?

Stop pandering to her ideas of being a vet. Give her information about alternative routes post 16 (make sure she knows what grades are needed to progress to A Levels near you, and understands that she is not going to get them). Take a step back. UNLESS there are undiagnosed learning issues which is not uncommon with switched off students. In which case get to the bottom of those.

Although the above task of working out income vs outgoings when unqualified is a stroke of genius

I did this. And my 13 year old will probably do the same.

So I'm offering him £50 for every A, £20 for B and £10 for a C (I realise they are numbered now but the equivalent).

When I was at school this would have made me work a lot harder.

I don't even care if it's bribery. I won't be doing it for college though.

WhiteLisbon I'm going to keep that one for the future!

Teenplustwenties, that is my approach too

It is not all black or white

Strings of A* not required, lots of different pathways/careers

My oldest did gcse last year, he never did much homework or revision. I bought him a subscription to Seneca , I said I’d leave work early to pick him up from revision clubs (no late bus), basically I facilitated his learning but we did not argue over it.

Yes he got some (5 ) Bs in subjects he could have done better at. He recognises that now (y12) but he also says he did not close any doors for himself in terms of education, which is true. I think long term it is better to not be overly involved.

My youngest is in y10, and he has moments of great anxiety and no way will I pressurise him. If anything I am even more hands-off. Mental health first. I am there for him if he needs help though, and he knows that.

I do focus on future plans with them, make them think about what they want to do, what matters to them, where their strengths lie, plan A and plan B and plan C

But on the whole I think being quietly supportive in the background is best

I think explaining consequences and leaving them to it might work for some teens, but from the OP I gathered this might just be a case of a teenager who is overwhelmed, and perhaps needs that extra support and a push now and then. I wasn’t suggesting you sit with her every single time (who on earth has time for that?) but just thought since the OP said she excels when she’s got someone with her, this has got to be the way to get things going, surely, even if only at first. The hope is that the more you sit with her, giving her hints and tips to revise, advising her on the best methods to consolidate notes etc, and testing her frequently, the more it will just become a good habit and she won’t need her hand held for very long. For me it was a case of plastering the house with catchy things that would help! Toilets are a good place to start! She’ll be revising without even knowing it . Eventually she will have to take the bulk of the responsibility though, that I agree with. But by then she will either be stuck in a good revision habit or will just know she has to do it to succeed in her preferred field. I also agree however that it won’t be the end of the world if it doesn’t work out. Talk to her in detail about a back up plan in case she doesn’t quite get the grades for a vetinary science degree (As or Bs at A Level.)

If she's only in 4th year, then do any of these actually count towards the final thing?

red Depends on what you mean by 'count'. There aren't the CAs/coursework like a few years ago, but revising steadily for tests and building the groundwork now should pay dividends next year.

Does your daughter know HOW to study effectively? I didn’t through my GCSEs or A-Levels. I cruised through GCSEs but fluffed my A-Levels because I didn’t have the skills to study properly and my schools didn’t teach me this.

Now I’m studying for my 9th year for a post-grad and I’m still learning techniques. I’m a fan of a mind map, I use rosemary oil and study music videos on YouTube. Highlighters and coloured tabs are my friend. Different subjects/topics need different disciplines and one type of study skill won’t work for everything.
I take loads of breaks because I’m easily distracted but I also know in my head what I want to get done and by what deadline to keep me sane. Would a study planner/wall chart help?
Is it worth investing some time exploring study skills to see if this will help motivate/kick-start her studying? There are loads of tips and videos on the internet to explore.

Well tbh if she fails it might be the best wake up call she can have. It will shake her up...she will then have to resit and might pull her finger out but sometimes it takes this shock to teach kids.