To consider a boob lift and mini tummy tuck as a single mum?

[DisneyChocolate]

I'm 36, 2dc aged 6 and 8 and my body is a mess. In clothes I look fine, I'm a size 10, wear a 30f bra and I think I look ok.

But... take my clothes off and oh my god. I look awful. During my first pregnancy I got a lot of stretch marks all over my tummy and I mean a lot!! I now have loose skin and silvery marks all over it. My boobs are saggy with not much volume and if I lie on my back they are under my armpits.

I'm so self conscious of my naked body I daren't let a man see it even though I am so lonely 😭

I'm thinking surgery is the way to go but I am not sure on the cost? Or more so the recovery is worrying me being a single parent, will I cope with it?

Does anyone know how much it is likely to cost and how long I will need to take off work and be back to normal?

I've had cosmetic surgery for a real body mess and it did change my life totally but the cost changed it too. I was skint for ages and then my circumstances changed and I really struggled to pay the monthly repayments.
I had it done after my son left home.
Do it but make sure you are financially sound first and you've checked out the surgeon and the hospital thoroughly.

I’ve never known anyone whose boob job didn’t go went wrong at some point in the future. So in your shoes I’d be saving for two operations, the time off work etc etc.

Although in your shoes I think you’d be better off spending the money on therapy. Sorry. I’m quite strongly opposed to plastic surgery.

If you're really down and you're self-esteem is really that low where you don't want to meet anyone despite being lonely, I'd do it!
Sometimes you need to put your self first to ensure that you're happy.
I know some PP are saying 'I wouldn't if it meant I couldn't take my kids on holiday' but personally I'd much rather remember my childhood as being in the garden all summer with a happy mum who loved herself, rather than look back on a holiday to Spain where my mum was wearing baggy clothes and was obviously unhappy.

I've had a reduction and lift and it cost £5500. No idea what a tummy tuck would have been at the same time but my surgeon did mention that she often does them at the same time.

One thing to bare in mind with a lift is the scarring. They usually have to completely remove and then replace the nipple so you will be left with scars all around that area.

I don't mind my scars because the positive effect the reduction has had on me is amazing.

If you google your local private hospital you may find that the consultants there offer a free mini consultation. I went to one of these and it was actually quite thorough and helped me make my mind up to go ahead. I got a recommendation for a particular surgeon and then booked my mini consultation in with her.

Surgery has risks. This would be unnecessary surgery. As a single parent you can’t afford to take the risk. It’d also be a lot of money.

Far better to work on your mental wellbeing and health/fitness.

Surgery isn’t the only or best way to be happy/love oneself!

Kanye West's mother died doing this. They could afford the world's best surgeons. All surgery comes with the risk of death and complications. That's why unnecessary surgery is best avoided.

Noone ever thinks it will happen to them.

I had a mastopexy, this was in the 1990s - it's a breast lift. My surgeon advised against implants as the future costs of removal, replacement, complications would be high.
I'm glad I listened to this advice. The scars are pretty bad though.
Even after all these years my nipples to not look very natural but they are definitely preferable to the spaniels ears I had before.
I'm like a tummy tuck now following a gastric band but I haven't lost enough weight yet.

I would never have surgery that was unnecessary. I had a GA for the 1st time last year and I was shitting myself. The anaesthetist obviously has to explain all the risks and although the risk of actually dying is small it’s still there. It’s bloody scary being put to sleep knowing there’s a small chance you might not wake up. He actually said to me that this is why you don’t find many anaesthetists who are willing to practice in plastic surgery, because the patients are generally taking unnecessary risks.

Also you need to know that for two weeks after surgery you won't be able to lift anything or even lift your arms up above your head. I was told not to do any cooking or even light housework for two weeks and I needed DH to wash and dry my hair for the first week. I wasn't able to drive for about three weeks while the wounds healed.

I waited until my DC were over 10 and able to cook their own microwave meals and do simple chores/washing under my direction. I had DH there to help a bit but he was at work most of the time.

I wouldn't be comfortable having cosmetic surgery as a married mum, let alone a single mum. What would your kids lives be like if the worst happened? Be happy with who you are OP I bet you look beautiful anyway.

A friend of mine had lipo & a tummy tuck done and the recovery was dreadful, so much more painful than she’d anticipated. Another friend had her breasts done and it was a month before she could sleep well. I think surgeons minimise the pain & discomfort patients experience.

A relative has just had a breast luft, in Turkey, it was £2k with travel. She loves her results.

Research tummy tucks, they aren't guaranteed to be what you want. How much loose skin have you got? Fibroblasting does some tightening and stretch mark removal.

It would be pretty shit sex if you were just lying on your back, so you're over thinking that part.

As a single mum in my 30s id deffs do this if I had the money. Go for it!

Oh I'd forgotten about the having to sleep on your back for a month after surgery. That was possibly the worse thing about the whole process - I must have blanked it out!

Yes I would and I am. Hopefully getting a boob job this year and I'm a single mum.Life is to short to be unhappy about something.

You would be mad to do such a thing. Learn to love your body

I tried for 30 years to learn to love my body. In the end I knew I had to do something positive.

The difference cosmetic surgery has made to my life and to my mental health is amazing. I'm also fitter and healthier as a result.

I went through times when I was able to feel ok about my body and then some idiot would come along and make a negative comment about my boobs ( women and men both guilty of this ) and I'd slip into depression about it. Sometimes I would cancel going out because I felt like a complete freak. I often left a social event in tears because of a comment made by someone about my body.

It amazing how people think it's completely acceptable to comment on someone's breasts in a way they never would about big ears or a big nose.

One thing to bare in mind with a lift is the scarring. They usually have to completely remove and then replace the nipple so you will be left with scars all around that area.

Wouldn’t this affect sensation in that area?

I wouldn’t risk it incase it goes wrong in any way which can most definitely happen, all surgery carries risk and you have two young children dependent on you.

Most Mother’s bodies change after pregnancy, it’s completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of.

Are you thinking about this for yourself or for any future partners? The point about not looking good naked sounds like its about confidence in bed.

FWIW my DP's ex had implants. I'm like you, my post-baby bod is not a thing of beauty! My boobs end up under my arm pits when i lay down etc. Apparently (and I would like to believe him!) he prefers my soft natural boobs that bounce around, to the implants. He doesn't say it in a nasty way, and I'm sure some of them feel more natural than others, but it has made me look at mine in a new light!

He's not the same fit toned adonis he once was either, so he doesn't expect me to be perfect, he's just happy to have someone who wants to get naked with him!

Don't do this for a man, current or future, hypothetical or not, as I'm sure any decent man worth his salt will think himself lucky just to be with you.

If its about feeling better in yourself, spend some time examining whether a 'nicer' naked body will really benefit you in the amount of £thousands compared to retraining or adding value to your home etc.

DO IT!! I have just had a tummy tuck and a breast reduction. But my mum has had to live with us for 3 weeks as you can't do very much at all! I love love my new boobs and they're so small and left and my tummy is flat instead of c section destroyed! Also lost 3 inches as my ab separation was awful! DO IT! DO IT!

One thing to bare in mind with a lift is the scarring. They usually have to completely remove and then replace the nipple so you will be left with scars all around that area.

Wouldn’t this affect sensation in that area?

Yes it can - I was lucky and didn't lose too much sensation but to be honest I was almost too sensitive in that area before the surgery.