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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To stop contact?

9 replies

clpsmum · 09/03/2020 18:13

I'm sure I'm not being unreasonable but actually starting to doubt myself after two and a half years of gaslighting, emotional abuse and coercive control Confused

Stbxh has my dc from 3pm Friday - 3pm Sunday. Friday night I received 36 text messages and various missed calls. Mainly calling me names because I'd arranged to take my kids out when I picked them up at 3 on Saturday. I ignored him as much as possible. 6:45am Saturday he text me and told me to come and collect them as soon as they woke up (which was before 8am!). As he wanted to be alone. I did collect them.
I later sent a text saying it was unreasonable and I was concerned about his mental health and maybe a time period without having dc for sleepovers might benefit him. He agreed.

However my AIBU is this! He later text saying he had been up all night while my dc were there thinking about killing himself. I now don't want my children going for sleepover at all ever and also want any contact supervised by his parents. Is that unreasonable? Sorry it's so long!

OP posts:
GreggsVSR · 09/03/2020 20:41

YANBU! Keep that text.

BlackeyedSusan · 09/03/2020 20:45

Keep the text. Email a screenshot to a friend.

Stop contact.

Zombiemum1946 · 09/03/2020 20:49

Stop contact. See your lawyer. Contact citizens advice. YANBU

RandomMess · 09/03/2020 20:50

It's very likely for control as he thinks he can now have the DC as and when he likes...

Stop contact and let him sort out supervised contact. Woman's Aid should be able to assist with advice.

clpsmum · 09/03/2020 23:00

THanks everyone!

Yes I do actually tho k it's about control and he will absolutely be delighted not to have the kids overnight and think he can see them here and there when he likes. I don't think for one second he is suicidal but think I actually need to take him at his word just on the off chance he is telling the truth. I can't risk it to leave him alone with DC.

OP posts:
clpsmum · 11/03/2020 15:06

I meant he has them fri3pm-sat 3pm, 24hrs not the whole weekend

OP posts:
clpsmum · 11/03/2020 17:30

He's now twisting it to be all my fault and saying he's not suicidal and said it because I was being nasty (because I'd made plans to take them swimming!).

OP posts:
RandomMess · 11/03/2020 17:38

It's all lies and bullshit let him take you to court.

clpsmum · 11/03/2020 18:33

It's just horrible and I feel like the only ones that are suffering is the dc Sad

OP posts:
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