Extension work while pregnant...

[Scarycoaster]

AIBU to be a little miffed here?

Have one dc 20 months and currently 7 months pregnant with dc 2.

Having a wall knocked through and lounge decorated. Mix of professional and DIY with husband and dad working hard too.

Come home to nothing being covered properly. Dust has permitted everywhere in the house. Bedrooms. Bathroom. Kitchen. The lot.

I'm so tired and stressed anyway managing DC in a house that overnight has become a building site. Having a rough pregnancy.

Aibu to be frustrated they never covered anything properly or sealed the doors to stop the mass of dust permitting all over the house?

I haven't made a thing of it. Nor will I. I'm just silently quite angry.

I naturally expected dust and mess to some degree, but to not even cover my sofa seems like a liberty.

I am now trying to manage a toddler DC in this mess. While trying to clean. Also I am quite worried about the dust levels and if there is any risk there while pregnant or to my DC.

Mainly just need to vent as I am so exhausted anyway at the moment. Suffering quite badly with muscle pain and have been requested to rest more. Yet now have all this to tackle.

Exhausted and fed up isn't the word. I ended up breaking down when I saw it all and got told I was being ungrateful. I'm honestly not. I see how hard my dad was working in there. I appreciate it so much.

I'm depressed currently anyway which likely isn't helping. But I just need a chance to rest up a bit and instead I have to tackle a whole massive house clean with a toddler to try and get everything sorted and livable again

That sounds really tough and I get why you're upset. But, IME, you absolutely can't take a wall down without covering the entire house in dust, despite your best efforts. The not covering the sofa or moving it seems remiss though.

Stop trying to clean. There's no point until the work is almost complete.

Oh I know. I know deep down it is unrealistic to expect it to not be too bad.

I wasn't expecting dust free. Just to at least try to minimise the impact I guess?

I can't not clean as much as I would love to, I suffer quite badly with OCD in relation to anxiety around health/safety (which is likely making this worse!) .

What is frustrating as when the wall came down they sheeted it all up so well there actually wasn't any dust or mess on the other side of the sheeting.

It's from the sanding down of the walls to decorate!

I expected to have to clean afterwards. To even have to clean stuff that was covered. But to walk in to a wall of dust everywhere and nothing covered threw me completely.

The dust won't harm the baby, but I'd be very annoyed about them not even trying to minimise the dust. We knocked through a wall when I was only a few weeks pregnant and everything was fine. Dust everywhere though!

Currently considering asking DH if I can book me and dd somewhere for a couple days.

I have the HV for this pregnancy coming in a bit and I'm so worried she will judge us/me.

And the most ridiculous irony of it all is I'm worried about health impacts, don't even bloodu smoke and yet somehow caught myself having a cigarette outside to catch five minutes to get my head together.

Absolutely ridiculous and now I feel guilty for that.

@TheLovleyChebbyMcGee so glad all went well with your pregnancy :)

I was pleasantly surprised with how little mess we had from the wall tbf. I was working myself up about it coming down for a while.

Feels like the sanding was done this way just to get me back for relaxing after the wall 😂

Unfortunately you just have to put up with this sort of stuff. We did similar (with myself doing the decorating) when I was pregnant and with a new born. Then in another house with a 2 year old (much more extensive).

I respect your willingness to go back into doing it all again 2 years later!

Right now the idea of ever starting something new once this is finished seems like hell to me!

We had work going on with dds pregnancy/newborn and it never fazed me nearly as much as this time round. Although it wasn't nearly as extensive.

I think above all else it has just been the final straw on a long and stressful period of time.

Currently holed up in hiding with a sleeping dd and a bag of midget gems and feeling slightly less stressed

You had a cigarette? As someone who did everything right and had a sick premature baby - I think that’s disgusting. You’re moaning about dust on a voluntary extension and yet smoked? You’re being totally unreasonable.

somehow caught myself having a cigarette

WTAF? You're moaning about a bit of perfectly safe dust but think it's fine to smoke a cigarette whilst pregnant??

You've lost any sympathy from me.

This kind of job is horrendous dust wise regardless of how much you cover everything. I don’t think they could have done a lot to prevent it tbh

I dont know any of my mum friends who not having extension at the moment. Dust part of the course. My dd now three has had this since pre birth. Tell you want if we ever move im throwing my dh diy tools away!!!

I think pp are being very judgemental to the OP for smoking a cigarette. Yes it’s a bad thing during pregnancy but do we really have to judge someone who’s having a rough time so harshly?
I used to be a smoker and though I never smoked during pregnancy, I know how irresistible the craving can be during tough times.

OP, YANBU, they could have made an effort to minimize the dust. Is there anyone who can help you clean up whilst you take a nap ?

So dust is bad but smoking is fine for the foetus?

Bloody hell.

I pointed out the irony and how annoyed I was for that. I never usually even smoke.

And I am completely aware of how stupid I sound panicking over dust and then going ahead and doing that instead.

I spoke to the HV and was completely honest as to the fact I had the one. Nor could I explain as to why as I'm not a smoker. She assured me one would have done no damage and was likely out of a way just to get five minutes to get my head together. Which is true.

Not my proudest moment at all. Nor is the irony lost on me.

But berating me is a bit beyond the par and quite honestly nasty.

I only mentioned the smoking on this as that was just how desperate and upset I was.

But cheers to the pp who chose to attack me for an admittedly poor decision in a moment of weakness.

I'm currently having a wall knocked through aswel and dust sheets, and closed doors etc were all used but it was pointless! There is an inch of dust over the entire house! It's tough!

That was meant to be a sympathetic "it's tough" not in like a tough shit kinda way 😂😂

Why don't you go and stay with your mum for a few days?

Toddlers and building sites don't mix.

I would but both parents are currently staying with us atm and parents in law would be a no go.

All a bit of a disaster. Completely agree with the two not mixing.

Babymumma- completely agree! I never plan on touching any kind of home improvement again! I shall live in a tumbling shack first 😂

That can work too, go with your mum spend the day in soft plays, garden centres (with cafes! - and ideally soft plays..) anywhere away from the mess but with your mum for company. 2 adults for 1 toddler, so much more enjoyable.

I am sure your DH can use a hoover. Anyone who can brush their own teeth can hoover.

That is the plan for tomorrow :)

DH is currently at work, was my dad and builders in there today. Dad worked himself too hard so is understandably resting. DH has promised once he is home he will help tidy, let me bathe and take over with dd :)

Feel a lot better for offloading a bit really. I never wanted to complain to my dad as I appreciate all he is doing work wise. But it is hard not to feel a bit emotional either.

Scarycoaster thanks!! We did loads of DIY in an old house, never want to do that much, lathe and plaster is so messy!

It's so difficult to complain when someone is trying to help so I really get where you are coming from. You can't complain really but it drives you crazy so you have to say something? Good luck with the rest of the extension!

I always used to enjoy the process. Think all this has just come at a crappy time emotionally/health wise.

Plaster is a nightmare! I have a high amount of respect for anyone who can plaster a wall. I know I would end up covered!

That's exactly it, I had no one to vent to and it all kinda built up. They've certainly done nothing wrong (although they could have covered the sofa!) But gosh it's way more hard going 5than I expected