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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Saturday Night Takeaway envy

43 replies

Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme · 09/03/2020 10:39

I know this is not life or death clearly - but I am interested in what people think ! Every week we sit down as a family to enjoy SNT - the DC love this , it makes us laugh and is great entertainment obvs. But every week I feel a very deep dark sadness when they give prizes away . It's ITV so of course the prizes are truly amazing and the holidays to Florida especially - universal studios or Disney - are dream holidays. I grew up quite poor , and unfortunately am now not particularly well off and so I never went as a child, and it is looking very likely that we will never be able to do this for our children. I see the lovely joyful faces of the competition winners and it makes me cry with joy for them but I feel so so gutted that my beautiful children won't ever go on this sort of holiday . They would never expect it at all- they understand it's impossible.
Please don't get me wrong - i am so so grateful for everything we have, we are not going hungry and we have a roof over our heads and our health of course ! But I am so so sad and envious of people that have done this kind of holiday we can literally only dream of - I feel sad that this is probably the most obvious lesson for the children about the inequality of life .
So, my question is , AIBU for being envious and sad at never being able to do this for my children ?
Yes - get your stuff together it's not life and death - life is unfair ! Count your blessings!
No - but you have to make your peace with it or it will make you bitter.

OP posts:

SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace · 09/03/2020 10:41

No advice, sorry OP but I feel exactly the same!

Costacoffeeplease · 09/03/2020 10:45

So apply for tickets for the programme?

Original poster

Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme · 09/03/2020 10:47

Morning - yes I always apply , have emailed a few funny stories, text entries as much as I can afford , and we have the poster in the window . I am Willy Wonka optimistic as you never know !!!!

OP posts:

Thescrewinthetuna · 09/03/2020 10:49

I understand, I know what you mean

Hoik · 09/03/2020 10:50

YANBU to feel a pang for things that are out of reach but I agree completely with you when you say that you have to make your peace with it or it will make you bitter.

I know one of the families who won a place on the plane, they got a place because they've been through an awful, life changing experience. I'm thrilled for them because they deserve to have this lovely treat but at the same time if there was a choice I'm sure they'd rather have no treat and for their lives to be as they were a few years ago.

I bet you have some lovely times with your DC and the simplest of things are very often the ones with the best memories attached to them. You know when they're older that they'll look back fondly on those Saturday evenings where you all piled onto the sofa to watch TV together, good naturally squabbling over the remote, laughing at the jokes, shouting about who is hogging all the sweets.

Original poster

Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme · 09/03/2020 11:01

Yes of course - bless them - that's why their stories make me cry it's just so moving. I am so very happy for them - I am NOT jealous- they are completely and utterly deserving for all they have been through of course . I am envious of the holiday is all !

OP posts:

Original poster

Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme · 09/03/2020 11:03

And Hoik that is a very very good point about the memory of our Saturday nights - you are absolutely right xx well pointed out - you are so right xx thank you ! Xx

OP posts:

Butterwhy · 09/03/2020 11:07

I understand OP. For what it's worth, we could never afford holidays abroad when I was little, we went to my dad's friends caravan an hour down the road most summers though and we all loved it! I have very happy memories, I don't feel I missed out even though my best friend would go on amazing holidays all of the time. Now with credit and cheaper flights etc it's probably more common for people to go to Florida etc, but it used to be the minority who would. Please try not to feel badly about it, and who knows, you might get a callback one day!

moita · 09/03/2020 11:12

No advice but feel the same OP. I was lucky enough to go to Disney as a child, it was incredible and I still remember it 30 years later.

We aren't in a position to do that for our children and won't be for a long time

Iooselipssinkships · 09/03/2020 11:23

Is it not something you could save for a few years for?
These days you can get some really good deals and we managed to do Disney and Florida for 4 under £4000. I'd always assumed it would be triple that if not much much more.
You can stay at some really cheap places on International Drive. The cheapest I've seen is £150 for 7 nights.
With park tickets for Universal and Disney a lot of the websites that sell them online let you pay them off at your pace. It doesn't have to be one lump sum.
The flights tend to be what cost a fortune but there's tricks and ways to get them at a low cost if you have a bit of a google.
We're a working class family on a low income so I never imagined we'd be able to do it, but it can be manageable if you have a look around.

Dogman2020 · 09/03/2020 11:51

Op, I never had the childhood dream holidays either - I was 17 when I first went abroad and 23 before I went with a group of friends to Disneyland (FWIW Its not all its made out to be - its a lot of queuing, a lot of walking, and a lot of people - not something like to recreate with my own ds until hes a lot older).

But what I do remember about my childhood is risking home from my paper round to sit down and be allowed to choose a chocolate bar out the cupboard and watch gladiators with my family all cheering them on. those memories will stay with me much longer and my brother and I still talk about them. It cost the price of a packet of Maltese's usually but those are the best memories of my childhood I have - not the holidays I went on which were few and far between,.

Youre doing a great job with your family. Dont for 1 second think youre not.

Original poster

Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme · 09/03/2020 15:44

Thank you for taking the time to reply ! Yes I think Dogman2020 you are absolutely right - children hopefully will remember fondly the right things ! I appreciate it might be worth hunting down the bargains Iooselipssinkships I will have a gi and see if we could do that in maybe 3 or 4 years ...we really don't have much 'spare' money at all but that time frame may be do able - thank you so much for your suggestions xxx

OP posts:

BritWifeinUSA · 09/03/2020 15:47

Then use this as a motivation to do better for yourselves. Change job, learn new skills, save, take a second job. Why are you so certain that this your lot in life and things will never change? I made a huge change to my life and moved 5000 miles away and I’m better off than ever, financially and emotionally. You can do this with even small changes.

ShayAndBlueSeeker · 09/03/2020 15:52

I would pay not to ever have to go to Disney. Happily my children are also non plussed by it. OP, you have children to watch tv with and love and that sounds so cosy. You’re rich in every way that matters.

Boom45 · 09/03/2020 15:56

I've never been to Disney and I wont take my kids either. We did and do holiday abroad but thats visiting family so, while it's still a lovely sunny break my memories of family holidays are loooooong drives through Europe, crammed in the back of the car and camping then sleeping top to tail with cousins/siblings. My happy memories are of family and fun and evenings sat chatting and messing about.
I really understand the sadness of wanting to give the kids something you can't but I don't think it's the expensive dream holidays that make happy childhoods. It's a cliche but happy times with their family are the best times, even if it's not in Florida

katy1213 · 09/03/2020 15:58

You sound far too resigned to the hand of fate and accepting that you'll only achieve this through outside intervention/lottery win - rather than getting out there and make a perfectly achievable dream happen.
It's not reaching for the stars - it's bloody Disney World. Whether it's a dream worth having is something else - queues, American tat, it's just another theme park in a flat wasteland. (Sorry if that's rubbing it in but there are far more interesting places to visit!)

jane1956 · 09/03/2020 16:09

why not enter ITV or other competitions ITV are only a second class stamp, Radio ones are free online too, you may win good luck

Original poster

Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme · 09/03/2020 16:18

BritWifeinUSA I totally get your point - I already have two jobs and DH in min wage full-time too but I am more interested in your point about aspirations - I am 42 and am trying to accept my lot in many ways so I can be at peace - striving or aspiring for more is fine I can dream of course but generally it just makes me feel like this ! I may be happier as others have pointed out up thread if I appreciate what o have got right now x so the thing that drives people to strive for better is the same thing for me that inevitably leads to sadness / dissatisfaction iyswim ? I am just not in a position to change my circumstances so dreaming us sort of futile ?!

OP posts:

Original poster

Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme · 09/03/2020 16:19

Not being negative and slighting you at all but surely we all can't be brave trailblazing risk takers - some of us are just born medium

OP posts:

Flibbitygibbit · 09/03/2020 16:29

IF you could go in term time, TUi flight end of April was £279 each. Stay outside of Disney. Purchase park tickets when you are there.... it can be done cheaply ish !

blinded101 · 09/03/2020 16:34

I went to Disneyland Paris when i was about 6 as a surprise when my mum married her husband. We never had much money before so this was my first holiday and I have to say it wasn't particularly memorable and definitely not the magic experience we all expected.

A caravan holiday in the summer with bbqs, swimming and family games can be just as much fun with less queuing, less stress and a much lower pricetag!

You're children will not resent you for not being able to go and it sounds like you've given them a lovely childhood

elessar · 09/03/2020 16:41

Look OP, I think there's a couple of points here.

The first is, I know Disneyworld is a very popular holiday for children, and I'm sure that if your kids are into Disney then it is a magical wonderful experience in some ways. But it really isn't the be all and end all and actually Disney is pretty superficial compared to other amazing, authentic holiday experiences you can have for far cheaper.

Disney does a great job of marketing itself, but when you boil it down it is basically just a big theme park with people dressed up in costumes. It's hot and you stand around in a lot of queues. The same is true of Universal. Not going to these places doesn't mean your children will suffer or miss out in any meaningful way.

Secondly, as others have said, you could look at ways to change your lot in life. You say you work two jobs and your husband works full time minimum wage. But could either of you look at retraining or changing career to a better paid role? It might be the long game, but at 42 you're really not past it - even if you had to go back to education for a couple of years or do a part time course. Surely that would be worth it to be able to save towards some of the experiences you desperately want?

crustycrab · 09/03/2020 16:44

Blinded Disneyland Paris is not Florida. It's nothing like it.

OP you can do it, save, sell things and go in term time. Start a holiday fund today!

Newuser123123 · 09/03/2020 16:58

Have a look at efteling in the Netherlands, you can drive there and stay cheaply. Obviously not Disney but was apparently the inspiration for Disneyland!

Stuckfornow · 09/03/2020 16:59

I loved Disney as a child and was lucky enough to be taken to DL Paris once and Florida twice....but honestly, looking back now they’re not even in my top ten favourite holiday memories. Camping in Brittany/Normandy, caravan holidays in Cornwall and Burnham on Sea, and Centre Parcs both here and in Holland (still way cheaper than the Uk even after travel) all feature higher up the list, and I think had more to do with who we were on holiday with than where we went.

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