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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry about going to AA meeting incase I’m recognised?

44 replies

LittleBlackCurlyHairs · 09/03/2020 07:11

I’m a healthcare professional that really needs help to stop binge drinking 4 nights a week.

But AIBU to worry about actual AA meetings incase I’m recognised by one of my own patients? How the fuck can I give out health advice when I’m in this state myself?

OP posts:
HelgaHere1 · 09/03/2020 07:15

Our local one was very tucked away in a community hall. Isn't yours the same?

Cheerbear23 · 09/03/2020 07:17

Is there groups you can go to in neighbouring towns?
If not I think the most important thing is you just go, and take the help on offer. I’m not saying the from experience But surely these groups operate on confidentiality too?

caulkheaded · 09/03/2020 07:20

Go to one further away?

Original poster
LittleBlackCurlyHairs · 09/03/2020 07:21

I’ve found a Renew place that opens at 9:30 today. I don’t know if you just turn up or if you need referring to them or what. I’ll call the number but what do I say?

OP posts:
Nyancat · 09/03/2020 07:25

Is it really likely that you would meet a patient there?
Even if you do, what are they going to see? Someone who recognises they have a problem and is taking steps to address it and seek out the support they need to do so.
Well done on taking the first steps to address your drinking.

PineappleDanish · 09/03/2020 07:27

I would just turn up. They're not going to tell you to go away. The whole idea of AA is that they're a support group and welcoming. And from what I understand it's all very confidential.

Good luck and hope it works for you.

rosie1959 · 09/03/2020 07:27

I have been in meetings for around 16 years have only met one person I knew in RL
I can understand your concern but if you need the help please get it
Alcoholism has no boundaries and there are many professional people within the rooms
And yes there is a code of anonymity We all understand each other and support each other
If you are really worried meetings are everywhere so choose one a little further from home

buckeejit · 09/03/2020 07:29

It's anonymous. Please go & good luck

Original poster
LittleBlackCurlyHairs · 09/03/2020 07:29

I’m barely functioning now so I probably won’t have a job for much longer anyway. I’m seriously fed up about everything.

OP posts:
mdh2020 · 09/03/2020 07:29

AA meetings are confidential. Even if anyone recognises you, they should not tell anyone. Please do not be put off from attending meetings.
You could talk to your GP as ours recommended my DH to a local charity that runs meetings 4 times a week . But you still might see someone who knows you.
You’ve taken the first step by realising you need help. Now is the time to take control of your life.

Etinox · 09/03/2020 07:30

I’ve been to 500+ meetings and met one person I knew. In a similar profession to you and we were delighted to see each other. It’s anonymous. Everyone’s there for the same reason.
Go! First step is the hardest.

rosie1959 · 09/03/2020 07:40

One of the great things about AA is you need no referrals. It is totally self funding and has no outside influence from any other governing bodies.

QueenOfOversharing · 09/03/2020 07:41

Please don't let that put you off going. AA is founded on anonymity. At every meeting we read "the yellow card" which reminds us not to talk about anything or anyone we see in the meeting. I have met health professionals that I know in AA, and I have the hugest admiration for them - they're living a sober life. I know health professionals who are in AA. I know lawyers. I know authors. I know ex-street drinkers. We are all people getting & staying sober.

The chances are very small that you will meet anyone, but even if you did, nobody stands in judgement as we're all the same.

icelollycraving · 09/03/2020 07:42

Go. Take your courage and go. Flowers

Ioncewasthere · 09/03/2020 07:56

AA is brilliant but there are other things around. Lots of online support groups. Look at Soberistas,fantastic bunch of people.
Good luck 😊

funmummy48 · 09/03/2020 08:00

Surely it would make you better placed to advise people as you’d have some idea of what your clients were going through if they were in a similar position. I’d have nothing but respect for you if it was me; your actively doing something to sort out the problem.

lifesgoodwithlg · 09/03/2020 08:06

Please go to the meeting, some of my siblings are in AA/ NA and first rule is you never disclose other meetings attendees. Well done on realising you need the help, Don't be embarrassed , you deserve to be happy & sober. Sending love into the universe for you

gassylady · 09/03/2020 08:12

There is information on BMA website about sources of help, one is doctors and dentists support group. Doesn’t say where they are based or if they have local meetings but maybe worth looking into if thought of AA too much at the moment,

lowlandLucky · 09/03/2020 08:20

That first phone call will be the hardest step, take a deep breath and make the call, it is worth it. Your new life starts today. Well done and good luckFlowers

Maythelordopen1 · 09/03/2020 08:21

If they recognise you then that means they are also at the meeting and both of you should adhere to the rule of anonymity. Also from another viewpoint, it’s nice to see a familiar face as it makes you realise...you are not the only one fighting the battle!!Go Op!! It will be good for you!!

MimiLaRue · 09/03/2020 08:23

Firstly- massive props to you OP for realising you need help- that takes immense courage. Yes- you can just turn up- go today.

Secondly- AA is confidential- its well known that what goes on in the meetings doesnt leave the room and everyone is in the same boat. If the worst case scenario happened and someone you know was there- well, they clearly have the same problem dont they? so they've got no right to be judgy. I dont think anyone will be- alcoholism affects everyone- not just the homeless. Please go and dont let this put you off- you are doing an amazing thing for yourself. Good luck! Flowers

Pinksmyfavoritecolour · 09/03/2020 08:33

Look on their website for the find a meeting bit, it has a bit where you put in your postcode and it’s comes up with all the meetings in your area, what days, what times. Go to a meeting today if possible, the sooner the better, while your in the frame of mind that you want to stop. You will find yourself with people from every profession there is, including yours, and if you see someone you know, it’s anonymous it stays in the room. Good luck.

eaglejulesk · 09/03/2020 08:35

I would think in unlikely you will run into a patient, but if you do they will not be telling anyone else, and will understand exactly what you are dealing with - and as someone else has already said, that makes you the perfect person to offer help to others.

Well done on taking the first step, and all the best Flowers

thecatsthecats · 09/03/2020 08:37

If anyone recognises you, they can tell their friends... that they met someone at an AA meeting they attended. If they think it's shameful (and getting help is NOT shameful), they can't gossip about you without doing it about themselves too.

MrsL2016 · 09/03/2020 08:40

We have the Renew service where I live and I used to refer people to then as part of my job. You can just turn up and self refer. They may not be able to see you there and then but they will make an appointment for you to come back.