AIBU to be furious about being passed over for a job?

[NameChangedAsOutraged]

I work in an intense profession gaining my professional qualifications 8 years ago and getting lots of further qualifications and experience since. I was looking to make a job move as I’ve been in my current place for 8 years and there isn’t any chance of progression.

I was approached to apply for a job in a different company by the manager. The interview went well but I didn’t get the job. Feedback was that they could easily have employed all 5 candidates but the only reason the managing directors chose the successful candidate was that they had vocalised an interest in a certain area of work which MDs wanted (although they didn’t specify that in the job description or mention it at all in the interview. I’m more than capable in that particular area anyway).

But fair enough, it’s irritating but I can’t win them all. Chalked it down to experience and continued to look at my CV, portfolio and if there were any gaps I could fill or develop.

This weekend I found out on social media that the person they chose had only just qualified in our profession the SAME WEEK OF THE INTERVIEW. No extra qualifications, no experience in the job.

The only 3 things they had over me were:

1. They own a penis so unlikely to go on maternity leave anytime soon
2. They didn’t have a notice period to work so they could start straight away
3. Being newly qualified they could pay him less money.

AIBU to not only be annoyed but think part of the decision to employ this man was sexist?

I understand your frustration, especially when asked to apply, but there is such an enormous difference between a newly qualified vs. 8 years experience, I'd expect it comes down to money. They just don't need your level of experience and are therefore going to go with the cheaper option.

Had you and the newbie been more similar, I might think differently!

I appreciate that you are disappointed about not getting the job, especially when you were approached personally but you don't really know the reasons for the other candidate's success. It's hard to say without knowing the area (and there's no reason why you should say what area you work in) but it might be that not everyone places the same emphasis on further qualifications that you do.

Maybe he did mention all the things on their hit list that they were looking for, it's hard to say. YANBU to be disappointed, but a bit U to assume their reasons.

Its more about the lower pay and inexperience than the actual sex

I am guessing 2 & 3 are far more important than his sex.

He hit all the points on his list. He could start straight away AND cheaper

Forgot to say, his sex wont have hurt him. That's usually unconscious bias.

But definitely think 2 & 3 are more conscious decisions.

From what you’ve said there could be any number of reasons this candidate was chosen. But if you truly think it is down to gender, I think you should take your skills and experience elsewhere.

Given men can share maternity leave now it’s more than likely 2 and 3. Maybe he was just a better fit or they believe a less experienced person will adapt easier to their way of things etc.

It was probably 2 and 3 OP, but I would still feel pissed off regardless!

Reasons 2&3 are valid reasons for this person to have been chosen over you. But from the companies POV, there were probably other reasons too. If they had five good candidates to choose from, maybe they just chose the person that they thought would fit in with the existing team the best. You just don’t know.

Being disappointed would be reasonable, being furious is extreme. There is no reason for you to start playing the sexist card.

What is for you, won't pass you by.

Chin up, apply for the next one.

You will get there.

If you were approached to apply for the job then it's unlikely they set you up to fail deliberately. I would ask for specific feedback to see how you can improve for the next time.

It could be something that hasn't even occurred to you.

Do you do this every time you don't get a job, look at why you were better even if possibly you weren't, if you always think you are best prepare to be disappointed

He was cheaper and more available nothing to do with sexism, and by using that you are devalueing women affected by sexism

Ok reasonably split decision. I can admit I’m probably BU in some ways. I was fine with the decision until I found out this today. The profession I’m in is incredibly sexist as a whole which I should have said in the OP so I’m sorry for the drip feed.

@HeresMe no I don’t do that with every job I don’t get. As I said above afterwards I looked at my own skill set to see what I could change/improve next time.

Thanks for everyone’s input and to those who have been reasonable even if you think I am BU.

I think you were just unlucky op.

I've been there. Sometimes the best candidate doesnt get the job.

Sometimes they weigh it up and I've it the cheaper one who they can mould.

Don't worry about it. Can you try applying for the next role up?

They don't owe you a job. If you want a new one then focus on getting one.

They do owe everyone a fair and legal recruitment process. If you don't think you've had that then you can decide whether you want to try to take it further.

Where do you want to focus your timd and energy?

It's impossible to know really... you may be right, you may not be.

I can understand your frustration. But you won't help yourself by dwelling on it. You have just to dust yourself down and move on.

As a recruiter, there’s a few things in play here

1. If he could start immediately then that would be a huge plus
2. If he was newly qualified and could do the role at a cost cheaper to other candidates, that’s another yes for him
3. If you have years and years of experience vs someone starting out, the new employer has a chance to ‘mould’ him, he isn’t coming in with any preconceived ideas or of past companies doing things another way.

It is a bit strange that someone who is newly qualified vs someone with 8 years experience - it’s such a huge gap and sounds like the company didn’t actually know what they wanted from a candidate. But if they can get someone available now and is capable and cheaper, companies are always going to go for that option. I don’t think it’s because he’s male at all.

You were not the best candidate.

So accept that.

I have an interest in something that automatically gets me interviews despite having no formal qualifications in the field. My interest is data / IT based