To have no clue wtf to do next?

[Notsurewhatthepointis]

Death of a parent, widowed parent threatening suicide, change of job, majority of colleagues dislike my personality.
A complete lack of identity, what on earth comes next?

Sounds like you’re having a tough time. Do you have someone at home with you?

A lot of big events at once is very tough. Sounds like you haven't had.much time to yourself. Your identity is still there.

CHanging jobs can be really hard - combined with death of a parent it must be horrendous - your new colleagues can hardly have seen much of your true personality to like or dislike it.

Do you have siblings or other family to share the load?

The widowed parent is being very unfair.

I have a relative who used to do that, so I said my DCs would be the ones who came round and found them, not me.

Nothing to add but and things should get easier in time.

Im really sorry for your loss and for what you're going through.

Do you have a hobby you do alone or something that you have always fancied? Creative writing, art, philosophy, architecture? There might be a group you can go to near you to meet people and take you out of yourself a bit if that makes sense? I lost myself a bit at one point and decided to go to a pole fit class as I'd always fancied it but never dared before. I just thought what do I have to lose. 8 years later I'm still going it and have made some amazing friends!

What makes you think your colleagues dont like you?

At home with other people and found a good movie to watch and feeling better.
The new job is a career change in a totally different industry and in a different location and it's taking time to get to know everyone. Moping around is probably not helping me make new friends but that will probably get better.
A hobby is a nice idea, I used to do a lot of art and it would be good to start it up again.
Much appreciate the different perspective on things and it will probably take time to find a new identity!

Good luck! I hope it all works out well! X

Break it down and tackle it bit by bit. I find writing stuff down helps. Little reminders like "you always feel like this in a new job." And write down any tiny gains e.g "asked Tim for input".