Would this upset you?

[Sadsadsadsadsadsad]

It you found a message on OH phone to an ex fling from when you two had a rough patch and he's sending her screenshots of your conversation and she's calling you selfish?

It would be goodbye for good.
He is courting sympathy from an old squeeze by sharing your conversations. He has no shame, no integrity and no respect for you.

I’d be incandescent. And then I’d be single.

I have no tolerance for cheats or arseholery or disloyalty.

I’m sorry OP. You are better off without that kind of hat-trick.

Honestly, I would find that unforgivable. It’s such a betrayal, that the minute things are tough with you he puffs up his ego by seeking attention from a past fling. It shows so little regard for you.

You deserve so much better than this OP.

I’d delete and block her number from his phone then Smile sweetly whilst telling him it’s over.

Are you dating my ex!

He would do this shit. Send messages/tell anyone that would listen be it flings, mother of his children, neighbor downstairs, best friend, just everyone knew our business and then next thing I’m being called everything under the sun, from emotionally unstable, abusive , needy, insecure, etc when he was the one that was actually all the things they were saying about me and he was instigating the majority of the problems...and the tosspot wonders why I now wouldn’t spit on him if I saw him on fire.

One thing I’ve taken from that relationship was unless I see it for myself I will never ever comment on someone’s else partner/relationship as there are two sides to every story and how a person behaves within a friendship can be the total opposite in a relationship.

Itd be over as far as i was concerned.

No, people need to process their emotions, some people are particularly bad at it. As far as I’m concerned my husband is entitled to whatever feelings he has and dealing with them however he sees for so long as he holds up his end of the bargain and doesn’t take out his emotions on me. I’m not particularly sensitive though, nor am I typically jealous. I can understand why this would upset most people though, it’s perfectly reasonable to be upset, annoyed, angry, feel a bit betrayed etc. It would be ridiculous to suggest otherwise.

He was hoping for a pity shag.

So you aren't living together? How long have you been seeing him?

Talking over your problems fine. Showing someone a screenshot of your private conversations will never ever be ok.

Absolutely unforgivable

I'm really sorry OP, that's got to hurt.

I would call this emotional infidelity tbh. Wouldn’t stand for it and I would seriously rethink my relationship. Sorry to read you are so upset OP

Yes I would be furious

Unforgivable. A similar thing ended my 20 odd year marriage. He was sharing really personal stuff with a female work colleague over 20 years his junior. Lots of 'wish I was there to give you a hug'. Still gives me the rage thinking about it. Worst thing was he didn't think he'd done anything wrong.

I couldn't get past the 'fling during a rough patch' tbh OP - how's that going to solve the rough patch, I mean really?!
Tell him to sling his useless, judgy arse pronto. You're worth more than what some ow thinks of your relationship and some bellend asking for it.

I'd be so fucked off with this, he'd be dumped. How can you even trust him again.

That is completely and utterly out of order.

I'd be out of this relationship for good.
What a twat

I think that’s a massive betrayal which is a step too far. Why on earth has he told her? Weird.