Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so fed up with my needy mother?

4 replies

Applejaxx · 08/03/2020 16:33

My DM has been using me as her emotional sounding board for years. She dumps every single problem on to me and needs me to validate everything she does. She needs me to listen to her vent. It’s exhausting and very detrimental to my mental health.

She text me this morning at 7am this morning to tell me that my dad has a bad back, struggled to get out of bed and was in pain and what should she do? I said if it’s that bad ring out of hours, she said she’d leave it until 9 and do it then. So I’m not sure why she even text me. Then I text back at 10am having not heard anything and she replies that he’d taken pain relief, had taken the dog for a walk and was going to wait until tomorrow to see the GP. So why the hell did she text me first thing? It really made me panic as I thought my dad was seriously ill when the text popped up so early!

This is just one of many things I could write. Earlier in the week she sat there and ruminated on and on at me about whether or not she’d had have to cancel her forthcoming holiday because of Coronavirus. How the fuck should I know what she should do?

It’s so draining and one sided as she has no interest in my worries. She’s only early 60’s and I’m already having nightmares wondering what she will be like at 80 if she’s this bad now,

Help!

OP posts:
ringsnthings · 08/03/2020 16:35

Sounds exhausting Flowers

Stefoscope · 08/03/2020 16:41

I'd probably not bother to reply to things which don't sound important, or leave it a few hours and hope she gets the hint. DP's mum is a bit like this and he tends to be very direct with her and tells her it's not a good time to talk. Or 'I still don't know what to tell you from the last time you asked' is another often used phrase.

BlueJava · 08/03/2020 16:44

It sounds a bit harsh but why not put your phone down for hours at a time? If you do see a message from her leave it for a bit and don't initiative a follow up. My mum will have sudden scares, she'll want to know where I am, what I am doing - well working/travelling for work/looking after my family, which is just what I am always doing. It sounds really harsh but I had to just start ignoring them, because the more I replied the worse she was and the more details she wanted.

Applejaxx · 08/03/2020 16:47

It’s so exhausting. But that text this morning really had annoyed me, because firstly I’d literally just woken up and secondly what was I meant to do? I couldn’t make the decision for her because I wasn’t bloody there!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page