To resent DH working away!

[Maythelordopen1]

Just as the title says...I know I’m having a bad day!! But does anyone else feel this way!! He works away A LOT, I work part time and have the kids and sometimes I just feel really resentful!! I would just like someone here to make me a cuppa or chat to instead of having the same repetitive conversations with the dc over why they cannot have yet ANOTHER snack! We were out all day yesterday and I’m tired and just want to chill out at home today! Anyone else feeling the same??!!

Did you sign up for this? To effectively be a lone parent doing everything by yourself?

@monkeymonkey2010 yes I suppose, his job has always meant working away...and 95% of the time I’m ok with that. But the other 5% of the time I am finding myself HIGHLY resentful 😩

Military wife here! My husband works away for months on end and it's fucking hard. The worst part of it is when you have a little moan to vent your anger and someone says 'isn't that what you signed up for?'
ahem anyway, I feel your pain. Do you have much family support?

@Maythelordopen1 feel for ya. DH is typically away Sunday-Friday.

I work PT and do all house/child/life admin.

He’s spent both days this weekend dressing up in Lycra. So I’m pretty miffed tbh.

@Singlebutmarried that sucks!! Dh is generally great when he’s home except for when I suggest we go off for a weekend and he says... “oh, I’d rather chill out here at home, I never get to do just be home”... meanwhile here’s me going stir crazy because I haven’t seen anything BUT the same four walls for the last 2 months!! Finding a balance is HARD!!

Yeah that is hard - for us it was the other way round. I travel a lot for work and DP was the SAHD. Why not pick a weekend when you know he'll be back and take yourself off somewhere nice for a night or too? I know that means you won't be together but it could be a nice break and he might be more appreciative of you.

@Bluejava yes I do that sometimes or go away with friends but then like you say I am away from him even more and sometimes I feel like it does our relationship no favours

YANBU. I work 4 days a week in a job that's really busy and emotionally draining but local, 10 min commute and no travel. DH works long hours and is away a lot and as he's the higher earner we're not in a position to change this. He's just got back from a two week trip abroad, during which I've had to juggle a particularly complex project at work, a teething baby and a poorly primary school aged child and he didn't understand why I became slightly murderous when he complained to me about his 'jet lag' on the phone. It's so hard not to fall into the 'competitive tiredness' trap. He hates being away but sometimes I think I would kill for a night in a hotel on my own, even if it was for work!

This morning I tried to have a quiet bath..... let’s just say it didn’t go to plan...then dh rang and I said how are you? His response.... “yeah I’m good...tired though as we had to take clients out for dinner last night!’

Just been on another thread where we all said we find it easier on our own.
House stays tidier kids behave better etc.
I’m better on my own definitely.
That’s no help though is it.
If it’s really getting to you talk to him, if it’s just getting to you today, just relax it’s another day tomorrow.

I totally get this, another military wife here and I'm nearing the end of a deployment and I am EXHAUSTED. Luckily he's very good when he's around but that just means I miss him more when he's not here. We've had broken bones, poorly kids, broken car, money issues, school holidays, just to name a few while he's been away. It's his job, I get it, but it's hard.

I find being totally honest with him helps, he has learnt never to tell me he's tired 😂 I will tell him if I don't want to talk because I'm stressed due to a bad day etc!