To be crying over my ex still

[Billypig]

I ended things with my ex a few months ago. We were together for just over a year but in that time things were almost constantly horrible and I was miserable, with him constantly covering up that he was being a dick.

I loved him very much but something had to give as I deserved more and so when I finished with him I did feel like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders.

Since then, I have met a lovely man. Not sure where things will go with him as it's still very early days but he takes good care of me.

Thing is, when I'm on my own for a long stretch of time, usually onna Sunday, I get miserable about ex and end up crying wishing he could've treated me better. If we're on messenger, I also end up asking why he treated me so badly. He maintains he didn't. He definitely did. He treated me so poorly emotionally that I considered suicide a handful of times. Why am I so shit to myself?

Congratulations on ending that relationship! You did something courageous that put your own well-being first. So many people get stuck in those relationships for years and years.

It doesn't sound like you're ready to be with someone new yet, if you're still getting so upset and wanting to review it all with the ex. A few months isn't that much time and you are probably still very hurt and recovering.

I would take more time to take care of yourself before getting involved with a new guy or you risk repeating patterns.

I broke up with my ex over a year ago and like you things were constantly horrible and was actually abusive emotionally and mentally, he doesn’t think he was, in fact he thought it was perfectly acceptable to spring up every now and again to say hello despite me being in counselling to get over what he put me through and in the end the police had to contact him. I would love to date etc but I know even with a year behind me I’m not emotionally ready to be in a relationship, and it would be unfair to whomever I want to be with to not give him a clean slate so to speak

Like PP said you don’t sound like you are ready to be in a relationship yet, if you still get so upset by how you were treated etc then you really need to finding you again. What I will also suggest is cutting all contact with him otherwise you’ll just be going in circles and not ever fully able to move on.