To think this friendship should not continue ?

[Floral89x]

I posted about it last year on an old account, there have just been several things happening and I have started to wonder what the point is.

There are things going back to 4 years ago. There was a guy I liked, but he was only interested in friendship. I went on a couple of dates with another guy from the group, which I had confided in my friend about, it wasn't common knowledge. She emailed guy one saying 'omg I have to tell you something about Floral', as it if were hot gossip.

I went on holiday with her for a few days to visit a friend. I'm not a drinker/party-animal at all and she is, but I made the effort. I found out via a mutual friend that she had been slagging me off all week, saying I was a 'grandma' because I wanted more than 5 hours of sleep per night. She then told me I needed to 'loosen up' a bit and said my photos were not exciting enough, and tried to have me jumping and doing all sorts of stupid photo poses because it was 'more fun' when that just isn't me.

She then complained we were 'too different' because I 'don't like taking photos'.
I do, but I don't need to take 6 million photos of the same building from every angle going.

She lives far and I have visited her a couple of times, but i've stopped now as it was never her visiting me, yet she visited other people.

The last time I was there, she was just in a bad mood, being really snappy. She didn't even bother to stock her fridge with anything to eat or drink even though she had a guest. We then Skyped a mutual friend and she was friendly and smiley as anything, yet moody and off with me even though I was the one visiting her, which upset me.

She was moody once because I didn't do an all-nighter when I had to be at the airport at 6am, she was just stroppy.
Just all sorts of stuff like that. At the moment she's chasing a guy who has a girlfriend, they hang out a lot, and it's just wrong. She understands but says she wants to be selfish for once. She says cheating isn't black and white but I don't agree.

We just have different values and ideas. The good thing about her is that she is consistent and stays in contact. She can be very good to talk to and offers advice.

Just don't see the point anymore. I've been cheated on/dumped for others a couple of times and I lose respect for anyone who does this sort of stuff. She doesn't care about the girlfriend and doesn't understand that he may just do the same to her too.

However I don't like ghosting and wouldn't like it done to me. Is it better to just confront her ?

Sorry maybe I was too harsh. But ditch her and surround yourself with better people. Work on your self esteem, you are worth more than this

I don't think I'd want to remain friends with somebody like that. Do you actually have anything in common?

Perhaps you could stop making an effort to be in contact with her and just let things fizzle out naturally.

Sorry but I don’t understand this fighting to save a friendship as if it was a marriage. I have very good friends that have been very good friends for a long time. We don’t live on each other pockets, we allow ourselves some distance when we are busy or a bit tired of each other and then re take it when we feel like it and as if nothing had happened even some years later. If someone has been nasty, just park the friendship for a while and until you share again some common ground.

You don’t like her at this time, don’t push it, distance yourself and if you both change back into people you enjoy to have around later on, that’s great but stop this “trying” to keep a friendship with a person you currently do not even like and from what you say, she doesn’t like you much either.

You keep making excuses for her behaviour. A shit friend is not a friend regardless of their reasons for being shit. You won’t miss her from your life if you just walk away.

What exactly is in this friendship for you? You talk as if you are obligated to keep this friendship going for some strange reason. She clearly isn’t a nice person. She’s a nasty user. you say you have a small group of nice loyal friends. Nurture those friendships and drop this one. Life is too short for chaotic, drama laden relationships. I would try to let this ‘friendship’ fizzle out but if she keeps getting in touch I would just say it no longer works for you. You are in different places in your lives. Be prepared for a nasty backlash though, she sounds the type! You’ll have to be strong and ignore her. Good luck.

Friends are people we chose to have in our lives. There's no obligation. Why are you bothering? Just don't make any arrangements to meet up or visit again and leave the whole thing.

Thank you. I am going to let things fade and focus on my other friendships, and try to work on my self-esteem.

What's 'overreacting'?

You don't like someone.
So don't see them/don't keep in touch.

What's the problem?

OP- read back your post to yourself. Why on earth would you want this person in your life? She sounds like a childish twat.
She has no loyalty, no kindness, offers no support, she's a user, is rude about you behind your back- WTF. Why would you even want her in your life? Bin her off- your life will be infinitely better without her and it will make space for genuine, kind friends.