Cousin's DD mean to my DS...

[EndlessUserName]

My cousin and I are pretty close. Her DD age 3 has always been a bit difficult at times, sometimes breaks things at my house (cousin always apologises and offers to fix) , hurts my cousin and other children (not mine, yet), rude to my DS (name calling), my cousin will say all the right things like "don't do that DD or we'll leave" But then DD does it again and they don't leave, cousin just makes a similar threat again.

I don't like my DS seeing this bad behaviour, I wish my cousin would be more consistent. when it's come up in conversation I've tried to help her as she knows her DD behaviour isn't great. What are the rules though? Can I tell her DD off when she fails to? Only in my house? In her house too? Or maybe public will be better. I know this is far far off the worst behaviour in the world, but it's a way off what I'd accept off my own DS. I have three DS in total (the other 2 are much older) so I do feel like I understand what my cousin is going through but equally I haven't put up this this kind of behaviour from my kids. I'm not saying they *never" do those sorts of things but they don't get away with it for long with me!!

Thanks for any advice

Think it depends on your relationship with your cousin. Would you be comfortable if she told your children off?

I would tell my niece and nephew off, but would also have no problem my sister telling my dd’s off.

3 is very young. What is she actually doing? Does your ds get upset?

I had a word with my df's dds years ago. They were ganging up on my ds and being mean. Their dm wasn't saying anything, so I sat them down and had a word about being kind.

Sometimes I think it helps for them to know that other adults don't like the behaviour either.

But it depends on your relationship with your cousin, if she will appreciate your input or if she will tell you to butt out.

Tread carefully so you don't ruin your relationship with your cousin. Speak to her first, she might be glad for you to step in! I am more than happy for my sister to speak up, but a cousin, probably not. Completely depends on your relationship.

My DH told off his DN after being fed up of a lack of parenting. It really helped our DC as they felt he was on their side.