I’ve come back on the thread to pass on the info from the specialist we’re seeing (specialising in emetophobia, eating disorders & OCD in kids and teens). Unfortunately not in the UK, to the Poster who asked.
In general, we are being taught (as a family) to treat the ritual behaviours and incessant repeated phrases (Is this fresh mum? Do I look pale, mum? Will I catch a tummy bug from F in my class?) using the metaphor of ‘anxiety bullies’. We are supposed to look out for the bullies trying to speak or do things. The bullies want to stop you being healthy and happy and strong. They want to cause chaos and make you stay home being bored. That’s their goal.
So if my kid says ‘Have you checked the use-by on that food, will it make me sick?’, I answer ‘Darling I don’t answer bullies questions. I know that YOU know the real answer already. Now tell those bullies to go away with their nonsense. Good. Now let’s get on with what we were doing.’ She is encouraged to picture batting them away, or to actually flick them away with her hand. Or we sometimes ‘scrape them’ off her forehead and throw them in the (real) bin. Does that make sense? Dr says we’ve got to do this every single time. Making it boring is part of the plan.
We have a scoreboard up where we mark times the kid wins a point, and the times the bullies score one. It helps her see that she is strong and able to control her intrusive thoughts, and works as a bit of a reward chart too.
We’ve been directed to be very mindful around eating, and talking about eating. Food has to be eaten with others, preferably under calm pleasant circumstances (not an anxious bite on the run). No weird stuff around food- like the recent youtube trends to ‘only eat yellow foods for a day’ challenge. The doctor recommended to delay getting braces or expanders/retainers until the anxiety is better managed (it places limitations on food). Keep away from people with disordered or strict regimes around food. For example my mum who attaches a lot of shame/disapproval around table manners, and a good friend who talks obsessively about keto. Not helpful.
On the vomiting directly, we’re learning about the body and immunity (from age-appropriate books). We tread carefully, and sometimes mention where the ‘bullies’ have been tricking her with false information. We connect healthy eating with having strong immunity, and how our bodies ‘soldiers’ need to capture germs every so often, to learn about defeating them properly. So letting some bacteria/viruses/germs onto ourselves is positive and important.
It’s been helpful to watch the animated film ‘Inside Out’ a few times. It provides an interesting base for seeing how anxiety bullies might try to take over control of your brain’s ‘control room’. The trick is to slam the door on them as soon as they extend one finger into that ‘room’. That is, learn to recognise when the anxiety is starting up, and deploy breathing/relaxation techniques at that early stage. Not wait until they burst through and start fiddling with the dashboard of our emotions and create chaos. This metaphor makes more sense if you’ve seen the film!
So it’s a long road, and involves an intense period (open-ended) of dedication for the family. Hoping some more concrete techniques will be introduced soon. I’m convinced it needs to be seriously addressed, or it can be really debilitating to take into adult life. Hopefully research catches up soon- so many suggested therapies seem to be either pointless or dangerously counter-productive to this unusual problem.
Good luck to everyone who’s battling it.