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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Hospital Bay

14 replies

Flopdrop · 07/03/2020 22:27

Just want to know if I am being unreasonable about this hospital situation.

My mother has dementia and has just had her second stroke. Two days ago she was admitted to a four patient bay. Mum is sensitive to noise and is easily confused.

The family of the lady next to my mum are what I would consider to be very noisy. They exceed the 3 visitor limit, make absolutely no attempt to lower their voices, talk to other relatives on face time speaker phone at HIGH volume. They say they don't know how to turn it down. They will stand in the doorway and talk to the relative at full volume rather than stand next to the bed and speak quietly.

They talk constantly - and I mean constantly- to their relative, again without lowering their voices. If they were in a room of their own I would consider their relative to be a lucky woman in having such supportive family. However, they make absolutely no concessions to the fact there are other people in the bay.

My mum is frequently confused by them. One of the family members shares my name and it confuses my mum. They talk so loudly that she thinks they are talking to her. She answers questions that they are asking to each other.

I want my mother to be moved to a room on her own or at least a quieter bay. The ward sister says mum is not safe in a room on her own. I disagree as the staff pay almost no attention as it is (I get that they are under-staffed) and that she would be no less safe on her own.

I get told that mum is in hospital and that other patients will have visitors. I know this. Mum has spent plenty of time in hospital bays, and the last time she was in one a few months ago we formed a great relationship with another family. They however were respectful of other patients.

I suppose I am asking how much noise is acceptable in a hospital bay?

I know this is a rambling post but I am at the end of my tether.

OP posts:
SagaBauer · 07/03/2020 22:31

If the noise is upsetting and confusing your Mum then they are being too loud. I would be a squeaky wheel and keep complaining if the nursing staff aren't helping. If that didn't work I would be contacting PALS since it is distressing your mother so much. Hopefully the patient in the bay will be discharged sharpish so your mother can recover Flowers what a rubbish situation

brummiesue · 07/03/2020 22:33

Sadly side rooms are few and far between on most wards and usually used for mrsa/palliative/d&v so YABU to want one of them. However YANBU to expect your mum to be in peace. You need to kick up a fuss, complain daily and involve PALS first thing monday morning. It never ceases to amaze me how selfish and inconsiderate relatives can be Hmm

Flopdrop · 07/03/2020 22:50

Thank you for the replies and votes so far. It is such a stressful situation. I want to be respectful and understanding of the other family's desire to help their relative, but at the same time my own mother is my priority and they are distressing her.

OP posts:
user1511042793 · 07/03/2020 22:55

A room on her own could be dangerous and you wouldn’t be happy if she fell and fractured her neck of femur. However a quieter or different bay is reasonable and you need to insist that she is moved. Pals will listen to the clinical staffs rational for patient placement. Believe it or not it’s not random. Pts are placed for safety for risk of falls etc. So sit on a one to one with the sister and talk it through.

Mustbetimeforachange · 07/03/2020 22:58

PALS definitely. The ward staff should be enforcing the number of visitors rule & asking the other family to be considerate.

Elouera · 07/03/2020 23:02

Have you considered talking to the other patient/family yourself? They might not be aware they are so loud and the stress its causing.

Flopdrop · 07/03/2020 23:07

@Elouera They are fully aware that they are causing mum distress. They even said today that it is "too much" for her. The problem is that they think their behaviour is normal.They don't think they are doing anything wrong.

OP posts:
twiggy19 · 07/03/2020 23:08

Awww bless her. Just keep voicing your concerns to the sister/doctors.
Put it in writing and mention in the letter the negative impact it's having or could potentially have on your mums recovery.
Some people are generally loud and a combination can seem too much which isn't there fault... BUT It isn't your mums either and its not fair for her to have to put up with it. Hope she has a speedy recovery X

Flopdrop · 07/03/2020 23:12

Thank you @twiggy19. As I say, the lady they are caring for is lucky to have them. Just a shame they only think of her and not the other patients.

OP posts:
Purpleartichoke · 07/03/2020 23:14

It has been well documented that the noise and activity of hospitals can cause mental deterioration in even the mentally healthiest seniors. She should be in the quietest space appropriate for her condition and in the most intensive care spaces for the shortest time possible.

They can put her in a private room with a bed alarm if they are worried about her getting up without assistance.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 07/03/2020 23:15

Hell is other people.

HonestlyItsFine · 07/03/2020 23:19

Problem is, guidelines say that patients at risk of falling should not be placed in a side room. If they put her in a side room and she falls, the nurses are liable for not following best practice guidelines.
And, as pointed out above, side rooms are a precious resource. Even if they agreed to move her tomorrow, if someone comes in with anything infectious and needs that room, they may well move her back out, disorientating her even more.
Could they move the other lady into a side-room, or your mum into another bay?
YANBU, though to complain that they are exceeding the visitor limit and being noisy- although sometimes the limit is waived (don't expect the staff to tell you if that's the case, though).

Flopdrop · 07/03/2020 23:26

Again, thanks for the replies. I have read them all. I understand the considerations of being moved to a side room.

I just wanted some idea of whether I was being unreasonable with regards what mum should be expected to tolerate in a bay. I will definitely involve PALS if nothing changes.

You have all been a big help.

OP posts:
Notmyfirstusername · 07/03/2020 23:50

Can she tolerate things over her head? I had to use noise cancelling headphones to get any rest during my stay as my ward ( neurology) decided to trial all day visiting. Visitors came at 9 am and would leave at 9 pm it was a nightmare.

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