Tea

[Modestandatinybitsexy]

I made tea and put in on the table in front of dh. DH is lying on the sofa with 2yo on his phone/watching telly.

DH sits up picks up tea and holds it - even though it is still too hot to drink. 2yo DS adjusts and lies back on DH and knocks tea.

DH jumps up shouting Fuck fuck fuck. I can tell he's about to shout at DS. I tell DH he should have been more responsible with his hot drink and should anticipate DS's moves. DH still thinks it's DS's fault for "jumping on" him.

This is not the first time this exact situation has happened. Who IBU?

How can a 2 yo be at fault in this situation?! He's 2! Your dh should have been more careful with his drink.

Adult's responsibility to keep hot drinks out of knocking distance of toddler. Toddler is not self aware enough to be responsible for not knocking things over, especially in this way (it's debateable whether you can teach them not to see a cup and immediately tip it - or is that just mine )

Buy travel mugs (or just mugs with lids on). Next time your son could be badly burnt.

His concern should be for the safety of his child, not because his tea got spilled. He's bloody lucky his child didn't get burned. Hot cups of tea are kept well out of range of our toddler and certainly not held in hand when too hot to drink and she is interacting with us. That's a recipe for disaster.

Thank you! To be fair the swearing was because DH has been burnt.

He holds DS to a really high standard. He gives me a look when I say he's still basically a baby. DS doesn't have a huge vocabulary. I dread to think what DH will think he's magically capable of when he turns 3 in June.

YABU for putting the tea where your DH could reach it when he had your DS with him and he was unreasonable to have picked it up.

I think tea is the least of your worries if this is his attitude to a 2 yr old. He sounds like an utter cunt.
He holds DS to a really high standard

DS can’t be to blame as he isn’t aware of the danger. He does t have the cognitive ability to know that cup has something hot in, “I should be careful”. Mind you it doesn’t sound like your child of a husband does either.

He holds DS to a really high standard
Maybe he should hold himself to that same standard then.

Doesn’t*

I give up

He doesn't sound a very nice man nor a caring father.

Soon it will be your fault for giving him a hot drink!

I had a similar issue but it was me that got a steaming hot coffee knocked down my legs - DD and DS (Twins) decided that was the perfect time to show me they could now climb and scaled the sofa like little spider monkey and yanked my arm - I did the best I could and managed to get none on them and I have never struggled so hard not to swear repeatedly in my life! But I didn’t - I wasn’t angry with them either. I went into the kitchen - changed trousers and chalked it up to one of those things. Now DH and I make sure to take our coffee in the kitchen with the gate closed.

Your DH needs to seriously do some actual reading on what to ‘expect’ (I shudder at that word when it comes to babies and toddlers) - maybe then he’ll realise he’s been a massive bellend and be more capable as a parent. YANBU.

We've had the conversation about expectations before and it's one aspect of parenting he really struggles with. He does next to no reading about the development of very small children.

However, he does excel in most other areas of parenting; for example he does 6 out of 7 breakfasts, bedtime stories every night, and he's changed all but one nappy today for DS and dd.

But I will be taking to him again about his reactions and responsibilities.

Does he always use that kind of language in front of children?

for example he does 6 out of 7 breakfasts, bedtime stories every night, and he's changed all but one nappy today for DS and dd.

That's not excelling. It's normal parenting. Would you describe that as 'excelling' if it were a mother doing it?