Constant toilet trips just before things need to be done

[EL8888]

My partner spends half his life in the toilet and it’s driving me insane! I’m half serious / half joking. But it’s constant. We are busy trying to sort out moving house, book a big holiday and just keep on top of everyday life e.g. cleaning, food shopping etc. Before we start anything he goes to the toilet!! He has no continence or bowel problems by the way

Is he just hiding in there with his phone so you sort stuff out and he doesn’t have to do anything?

Maybe he drinks too much coffee?

It depends. I will always go to the loo before leaving the house, so the loo before food shopping is one thing. Heading to the loo every time hes asked to clean - and disappearing for more than 2/3 mins - seems like an avoidance tactic!

I knew this would be about your DP when I saw the title. I have a similar experience with - I'm not exaggerating- every male ive ever met. It goes like this:

Me: (insert male name) dinner will be ready in 20 minutes.
Male: ok

Me: dinner will be ready in 5 minutes. Are you ready?
Male: Yes

Me: I'm just putting the dinner out now.
Male: ok, great

Me: dinner's ready
Male: I'm just going to the toilet.

My DH does this. Sorry I have no advice. Pisses me off so much.

He is reading the news on his phone. Toilet trips for a wee are minimum 10 mins and the morning poo before his shower, he is on there at least 30 mins. Means I always end up doing our DS's breakfast, first nappy change, getting the bags ready to go out.

Odd. Is it a control thing. I tell you to do something. You get annoyed and instantly put an obstacle in the path to gain back the upperhand.

@Winterwoollies that is a theory. Consequently l just wait until he has finished in the bathroom before doing stuff!

There’s been many threads about this, it’s avoidance and/or controlling behaviour.
Mowing lawns when a taxi to the airport is waiting etc, he thinks his time is more important than yours.

People should wait for them to get out of the loo then carry on.
Oh good, you're done. We can move that/ wash that/book that... (Except in cases where being late actually matters eg miss a flight or something. And in those cases leave out something you might have done for them so they are the ones that feel the effects)
If sitting on the loo doesn't get them out of doing stuff perhaps they'll stop taking the piss.

It could be anxiety or it could be an avoidance tactic.

He loves to procrastinate and l hate to procrastinate. It’s as if he can’t just start a task. In the past he has been smug about waking up before me. But he doesn’t achieve anything, unless staring into space or fiddling on a phone counts.... I get up and get stuck into stuff e.g. loading the washing machine, making breakfast etc

@ParadiseLaundry it is a total boy thing. I’ve never met a woman who does it. The dinner example is spot on

I was brought up by parents who insisted that we went to the toilet immediately before we left the house. This wasn't when we were 4, but my Dad still tries to make me go, even though I'm 50. I've realized that I still do this. It's like whenever I know I have to do something my brain tells me I have to go to the toilet. I do go as quickly as possible though, so I'm not trying to get out of work.
DH is the opposite. Almost every time we've been out to the pub we get half way home and then he realizes he needs a wee.
Basically, we're just 4 year olds trapped in an adult body.

My DM used to do this. It drove me mad!

Me: “We’ve got tickets for xxx, I’ll be at yours for 4 pm.” Turn up at 4 pm.

DM: “Now you’re here, I’ll just nip to the loo.”

WHY?? You knew what time I was coming.

"I was brought up by parents who insisted that we went to the toilet immediately before we left the house. This wasn't when we were 4, but my Dad still tries to make me go, even though I'm 50. I've realized that I still do this. It's like whenever I know I have to do something my brain tells me I have to go to the toilet. I do go as quickly as possible though, so I'm not trying to get out of work.
DH is the opposite. Almost every time we've been out to the pub we get half way home and then he realizes he needs a wee.
Basically, we're just 4 year olds trapped in an adult body."

I'm the same lol. My mum would stand outside the toilet door until I'd peed whether I needed to or not. I'm like a housebroken dog!

It gets worse as they get older. DH just used to swan out of the house without a backward glance. In fact he had form for forgetting to close downstairs windows and set the alarm, he was that chilled.

Now he's middle aged he can't leave the house without endless faffing, a toilet stop and randomly checking the hall door that we never ever use. He also likes to position himself in the doorway between the kitchen and utility room so we have to step round him to get our costs/shoes/bags. Do they start to lose confidence

My dp does this and it drives me up the wall. He does have IBS so he does need to go more often than most but he still spends a good half hour in there every time, sometimes 6 times a day, and always when I've asked him to do something or dinners almost ready, or we need to leave the house. He sits watching YouTube on his phone, our bathroom is downstairs so o can hear it

Hiding in the bathroom with a phone (if some are doing that) is not a good sign.

My husband is the worlds worst for this. I think saying it’s controlling behaviour is overthinking it. He’s just a lazy selfish arse sometimes.

Following on from another thread, your DH is just like a child who can’t cope in a lesson they find too demanding. As a secondary school teacher I am always inundated with requests to visit the bathroom just when the going gets a bit tougher.

Definitely a man thing DH does this all the time drives me insane!!