Is it rude to not RSVP either way?

[EL8888]

I have had a big row with my longest friend. I invited her to a night out for a significant birthday of mine, she didn’t RSVP or even actually come to it. Her response has been very defensive and unapologetic. Refuses to acknowledge it’s rude. I gave her and other guests 6 months notice so it’s not as if l sprung it on anyone

Yes, obviously you should reply either way. Did you remind her in the six months between invitation and event?

Well it all obviously depends on what you fell out over.
I have a "friend" 💀 that I no longer speak to, if she sent me any sort of correspondence I'd not reply either. She's a cunt.

Two sides. There's always two sides!

Oh yep l prompted her and the other guests a few times. She didn’t give a proper explanation as such. In effect mumbled something about work being busy, having children etc. Basically every day life. For clarity it wasn’t a weekend in Vegas or a week in the Maldives. It was drinks at ours then a restaurant, so not a crazy expensive budget to consider. No apology or anything, not even why don’t we go out another time. Nothing basically

Is this out of character for your friend, OP? What do you think her reasons for not replying are? Absent-mindedness or something more personal?

Well, it shows where you sit on her list of priorities. Often, your oldest friend is not your closest friend.

@calmama increasingly no. She has developed an expectation l need to do what suits her. The vibe from her is very much “her life is harder than mine” thus l need to dance to her tune. Lately l have tired of this and she seems annoyed about it

@TheMemoryLingers exactly. That’s how it feels to me. Increasingly the vibe is she needs to make no effort but l need to make loads of effort. Life doesn’t work like that

She is rude and inconsiderate. She could have easily told you she wasn't coming, but clearly doesn't have the manners to do so.

Well, you skipped over my question, feel like that tells me everything I need to know .... that you know her feelings are valid and that you are in the wrong. 😂👍🏼

@MyyyyyCorona we fell out about her not RSVP’ing or coming?!? Well, more the fact l challenged her about it which she didn’t like. I think she wanted to sweep it under the carpet

I guess her life must be exceptionally hard if she can’t manage to RSVP given six months’ notice and several reminders. I would tire of that too. As I imagine her other friends have it will.

Sounds like you were probably better off without her at your birthday do. From what you said she might have tried to make it about herself anyway. I hope you had a nice time with your friends.

*have or will

@calmama well yeah, she does like to style out that life is super hard for her.

Thanks for asking. It was a great night!