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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

During miscarriage, am I expecting too much from husband?

1 reply

Minnildn · 06/03/2020 23:04

I found out I was pregnant about 1 month ago. It would have been just over 8 weeks now.
Last week I experienced some slight bleeding so went into A&E.
Following a scan I was told it looked like an anembryonic pregnancy and if it passed naturally it would involve passing tissue and lots of blood. DH was with me during this consultation. Anyhow, a few days later the bleeding intensifies and I was just not in a good way. I came up to the bedroom and lay in bed. DH came home from work, I prepped dinner, he ate and i made my way back up to bed. I did mention it was a particularly bad day with blood and pain.
He proceeded to fall asleep on the sofa downstairs.
Came up 2/3 hours later and fell asleep again without saying a word to me.
Woke up to ask how I was doing, I told him it had been rough. And before I knew it, he'd fallen asleep again. Snoring so loudly. I just lay there in agony.
Next morning, as I slept he wrote me a little note on some ripped up paper about how bad he felt. Left for work and didn't check up on me until about 2 hours after his work officially finishes (he's a teacher)
I confronted him about this and his response is that I am being unreasonable. If I needed him to stay awake I should have said. Etc etc.
Am i going mad or is he taking the piss?

Sorry its so long!

OP posts:
SheWolfofFrance · 06/03/2020 23:14

I don't think you're being unreasonable for wanting support. I've had 3 miscarriages at 12, 13 and 5 weeks and it's a horrible situation to be in. The later ones were more traumatic because I had contracts and it was obvious I needed "help" from my now ex but the one I had at 5 weeks with DH he didn't really know what to do if that makes sense so although he was kind and supportive he just followed my lead and if I asked for him to do something or be with me he did but otherwise he wasn't really sure what to do. I don't think he would have thought to stay awake with me unless o asked and I definitely preferred to be alone when going through the physically passing of tissue and blood.

Sorry your having this experience and hope you're ok

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