To wonder if anyone else has questions they’d like to ask but worry they’d be labelled deliberately provocative?

[lampsandrain]

It’s genuine curiosity, I suppose that’s where the AMA comes in handy but then you have to wait for someone with ‘your’ question to pop up!

Does anyone else? Could this thread be a safe zone I wonder ... or will I be give biscuits and abuse?

I would love this. There was a great one recently, the OP received a fair amount of abuse but many great answers too.

If you don't know the answer, you don't know, and to make enquiries about it is always good in my opinion.

Ooo place marking..

This will go well...

What kind of questions? And why would asking a question result in abuse?

You’ve obviously never seen an unpopular opinions thread tree. It usually results in disablist, racist nonsense.

Yes... does the Mnet magic chicken keep laying eggs too.

But it’s not unpopular opinions purple - FFS!

I always wonder why people feel the need to make announcements regarding their gender /sex whatever you call it.
Who someone is shagging /wants to shag is matterless to me.
Be kind to animals and the elderly and you are a good egg imo...
Your private life should be, well private.

Well yes, but it’s not that difficult to phrase your unpopular opinion as a deliberative provocative question.

AIBU to think that adding FFS at the end of a post is unnecessarily aggressive?

It's usually when people want to ask questions that they worry will come across as goady, such as "AIBU to wonder why some women never even consider breastfeeding?"

It could be read in two ways. It could be that someone just holds such a strong belief themselves in the value/normality of breastfeeding that they have never considered a different approach and are genuinely curious as to what leads people to an alternative view. (Although, TBH, the answer is usually the same regardless of the question: People have different preferences, situations, life experience and priorities.)

Or it could be a thinly veiled "I believe anybody who chooses not to breastfeed is stupid, selfish and/or wrong. I want people to agree with me and to judge all of the reasons that will be presented to me in order to bolster my own smugness".

I tend to assume the first because I'm a bit naive and like to think people are not being dicks But a lot of people are more sceptical and will assume the second.

@lampsandrain
"But it’s not unpopular opinions"

They always turn into inflammatory questions.

Posters use it to have digs at people, who choose differently to them, SAHM, non married etc. Then, as said, things get bigoted.

That’s exactly it bertie

purple I suppose because I rarely post on MN because I worry about being piled on so though that was the start.

Windyatthebeach
"I always wonder why people feel the need to make announcements regarding their gender /sex whatever you call it."

So in work you never talk about attractive film stars? Or in your circle you don't, when single go on the pull? Or talk about exs/men? Or you've never noticed people wanting to fix up their single friends? The default is heterosexual, you do have to say if you aren't following the default.

Putting ffs! Isn't a great start no..

Well we can’t edit posts so can only apologise

I know what you mean OP.

I think breastfeeding is a good example. Someone might be genuinely curious as to why this option is not chosen by some women. If they post the question they get a mixture of sensible answers like “I had crippling PND”, or “I didn’t make enough milk”, or “I just really didn’t want to”. But they will also get plenty of other comments like “enjoy wearing judge-pants do you”, or “none of your fucking business”, or “fuck off you goady fucker”.

So naturally it puts people off asking questions.

I have many, many questions that are always seen at provocative and I've been absolutely slated for them, banned for them, etc. People treat you like you're a terrible person when you dare to go against the grain.

What's your question op?

Spit it out OP

I think it’s a good idea if you’re genuine with your question, which to be fair it sounds like you are. There’s plenty of things in the past I would have liked opinions on and Mumsnet is a great place to get a wide range of them. However PP concerns are valid in that you will inevitably get people who ask a question with the intention of offending people. You started the thread, why don’t you ask your question and hopefully posters will take it for what it is.

OP this can be your safe space. What did you want to ask?

I occasionally want to start a thread wondering if anyone who starts a thread has ever read anything on MN before.

The exact same situations come up again and again and again but the OP doesn't ever seem to have read any of the other 20000 threads which are about their predicament.

But like, don't you think it's really out of order @crapette when people with 8 year olds park in the mummy and baby parking?!?!?

Some threads I am sick of reading. Most of the unpopular opinion/ AIBU to think this was not in fact racist just seem to be populated by arseholes, with no receptivity or capacity for change.