To wear earplugs to block out colleague with vocal fry

[calmama]

My god it’s grating. Wish she would do some work and stop frying all those words. AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH

Oh, I used to like that but didn't know it was a put on thing, thought it was just well spoken/little bit posh people who did it! Ha ha I will laugh at them now! (in secret obviously)...

@calmama

I was agreeing with your suggestion for headphones - so YANBU.

Your other comments I disagree with

HTH clarify

@furrytoebean At no point have I singled women out in this thread. My colleague happens to be a woman. I would be just as frustrated if it were a man.

@Aridane Which comments in particular?

Actually it can be a condition. I have this, primarily when singing, but also when speaking if my voice is overused.

I have a connective tissue disorder which is the cause, things are not held in place as tightly as they should be, and as such vibrates too much.

I have to say, it's damn unpleasant! It feels like I'm choking, and there's nothing I can do about it. When I push through it instead of stopping using my voice to cough, it really does make me choke.

Yabu for assuming it's deliberate, and for judging what well could be an undiagnosed condition. Most people with connective tissue disorders have horrific problems with people assuming they're faking things, and many with mild versions are never diagnosed.

I’m not saying it can’t be a condition. I have friends who have similar conditions. Hers, however, is not. She uses a “normal” voice for some people and fry with others.

If it switches from person to person in a fast timeframe then that's possible, however mine does come and go and sometimes I can control it better than others. So if I'm struggling, might be able to control it for a conversation with one person if it's important, but then have to let it relax again.

Vocal fry is different to upspeak, but I have heard both in quite a few teen girls I know through work. In their case it is definitely social contagion and affectation, as I know they never used to speak like this when I taught them. Hopefully they'll grow out of it.

Definitely not just women.
My teen DS is doing it today. I've told him to stop as I really hate it but he keeps doing it.
I've resorted to earplugs.

Oh my gooood, yes (said with vocal fry). I love the podcast Criminal, the usual host had the most lovely speaking voice bit occasionally another woman will host and she has the most infuriating vocal fry that I can't listen to it.

It's actually awful.

I’ve heard so much about this in recent years but can’t work out exactly what it is although obviously a five second Google would produce the answer. I’m torn between being curious, and not wanting to find out via YouTube because if I do then I’ll suddenly hear it everywhere and want to stick pencils in my ears. So far self-preservation has won out. Noise cancelling headphones OP - it’s the only way because it is fundamentally your problem to deal with.

YANBU to wear headphones. I used to wear them in a previous office because the woman opposite me was intolerable. Then they said no headphones in the office, I continued to use them but not plugged into a device. I was then pulled up and told I couldn't use them in the office - I pointed out that I wasn't listening to anything, they weren't plugged in, they just blocked out the woman opposite who didn't let me get any work done at all. When she left it was bliss.

I have vocal fry due to damaged vocal chords caused by a stomach ulcer.

Do judge away though......And yes, if you can't handle it, wear ear plugs.

It's the worst. Sophie Habboo on made in chelsea is a classic example.

First heard this way of speaking from the Kardashians and their friends (It may have been Paris Hilton/Nicole Ritchie who started first but can't remember). Then it 'went viral' when their show got so big, everyone started imitating them.

I've heard this is how 'Valley girls' (where they're from in California I think) naturally speak. Like a 'Valley accent', so those born and raised there would naturally talk that way. Everybody else is basically copying, which is why it's become a 'thing'.

I don't stand by this explanation, it's only what I heard from different people online.

*Have just learned here that some people also talk this way due to vocal chord issues. So there's that too.

I always think this is a good barometer for internalised misogyny. I have never once in my life heard anyone complain about male vocal fry, even though it’s more common than female vocal fry. It’s always women who are judged for being contrived / shallow / immature / annoying etc. When it’s men, it’s just assumed that they naturally speak that way and they don’t get judged for it.

I've also heard a lot of gay guys in the media speak that way. Basically every American TV show with a token "feminine" guy/gay hair dresser or friend or something would usually have that high nasal vocal fry voice. Not sure why it's a thing but that's been my observation.

One of DD’s friends does it. I can hardly bear to be in the house when she’s here.

Zooey Deschanel does it in New Girl And it irritates me.

Hate the way it sounds (YANBU).

Weirdly love the phrase 'vocal fry'. Anyone with me?

Is THAT what it's called?! I've noticed over the last year or so that it seems to be becoming more common,especially amongst women. But I suppose it's preferable to the 'Mini Mouse' voice which seemed to be popular not so long ago. Now THAT really did irritate me.

I can't listen to vocal fry. Especially when it's combined with upward inflection or long drawn out 'oh, my Gooood reaaaalllly, that's amaaaaaaaaazing' kind of thing. I get that it's meant to be a trendy but it's so grating. Yes both women and men do it although unsurprisingly, women get more stick for it. Men that do it complete with deadpan monotone give me the rage, I'm forever pulling 2 of my nephew's up on this. I'd definitely get earplugs OP, it would actually make me anxious listening to vocal fry for extended periods of time.