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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Working from home - AIBU?

26 replies

mamasiz · 05/03/2020 19:45

I’ve recently asked my employer for flexible working arrangements ie working from home due to concerns about the virus. I’m pregnant, have some health issues and have a child who is constantly in hospital (Every fortnight currently) with a respiratory issue. I asked to work from home for a short period of time and was given pretty short shrift. I was told it’s ‘business as usual’ and advised to refer myself for counselling to manage my anxieties. It’s looking like unpaid leave for me now, which is fine, I’ll take that, but a shame as I am keen to continue to work - I’m just disappointed in being made to feel hysterical when I have an unwell child and there is no medical info on the risks to unborn babies. I just want to protect my family. Just wondering if anyone else has asked for similar and what response you got?

OP posts:
FizzyPink · 05/03/2020 19:48

Our workplace is the opposite, anyone with a cough or sneeze is being sent straight home and work from home for 2 weeks if you’ve been abroad. We are in central London so more risk though. I have low immunity so I suspect I will ask to work from home from next week if it’s not already been enforced

missinginactiongeorge · 05/03/2020 19:48

That’s a bit heartless and short sighted. The work relationship is a 2 way thing, you’ll be a lot less inclined to put yourself out for then if they can’t help you know. And suggesting you get counselling for anxiety is insulting.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 05/03/2020 19:49

Cant really offer any guidance but can totally understand your concern with your child being in the very at risk group. I'm severely asthmatic and was sent home from work yesterday as a precaution because someone in my departments daughter recently returned from a high risk country and told to WFH until further notice so not remotely hysterical and many businesses are taking it extremely seriously

Kawahara · 05/03/2020 19:55

I understand your concern.

However, at this point, if people work from home just in case, they could be at home weeks or months.

I totally get being sent home if you have cold/flu symptoms. Or if someone at work is a risk.

If you out in a written flex working request, they will need to give a formal answer. But that could also take weeks.

TheDuckSaysMoo · 05/03/2020 19:56

Our guidelines are to ensure staff self-isolate if they meet the government advice. If they are not ill they should work from home if at all possible. They'll be paid whether or not they are ill. If they don't meet the government advice but want to self isolate they can take it as annual leave or unpaid leave. Realistically if my team member was anxious and were able to work from home I'd let them.

Original poster
mamasiz · 05/03/2020 20:00

I understand - I suppose I’m just concerned that this virus is already circulating and I’m trying to be ahead of the curve. I put my request in writing and got a two sentence reply in about 30 minutes.

OP posts:
Gamble66 · 05/03/2020 20:02

Go into work - cough a lot

kabalarian · 05/03/2020 20:07

No source of employment is worth the life of your child.

Your child has to be your priority.
Ditch the job.

ElfishBiatch · 05/03/2020 20:11

Do be careful about taking unpaid leave if you have a qualifying period for maternity pay.

Bobbybobbins · 05/03/2020 20:13

YANBU because of your child's health issues - I think this is the crucial point

TheTrollFairy · 05/03/2020 20:13

How long will you be self isolating for? Do you have a fairly high risk job in terms of coming into contact with a lot of people?
I’m not saying your concerns are unwarranted, but at the moment there disease is on the increase which means that you would be potentially self isolating for the rest of the time you are pregnant.
If your child is in and out of hospital then I would assume this would be the most likely place to catch anything as the heating systems in hospitals are weird and you sit in close proximity to others in any waiting room or ward.

I was looking up swine flu earlier and there was over 100 reported cases within the UK in less than a month so at the moment, the current spread rate appears to be lower than swine flu. I’m no medical expert though but it was a food for thought when I was panicking earlier

PineappleDanish · 05/03/2020 20:14

No source of employment is worth the life of your child

Calm the fuck down.

Of course OP's employer should be a bit more considerate and flexible, allowing people to work at home wherever possible. If it's possible - it isn't for all businesses.

But spinning it to mean that the OP going to work is somehow similar to playing Russian Roulette is pure crazy, paranoid thinking.

Original poster
mamasiz · 05/03/2020 20:18

@TheTrollFairy I do come into a lot of contact with people through work - particularly older people. He was last in hospital at the weekend so he’s been away from nursery all week and he’ll be at home whilst I am. I’m hoping that will limit his exposure to cold viruses which are the trigger for his respiratory problems, and that as a result we won’t be needing hospital admissions. My husband is also at home and away from work.

OP posts:
kabalarian · 05/03/2020 20:25

PineappleDanish

No job is ever worth what you seem to presume.
Not paranoia, just reality.

Lochroy · 05/03/2020 20:35

Would you and DH both be working from home? How can you do this and look after DS at the same time?

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 05/03/2020 20:44

This is such a worry for you.
Is there a union for your industry. I think you should ask them for advice. Or some other kind of employment rights association for working mothers.
From the way your employer is reacting I think you should check what your rights and obligations are and then keep careful records of your absences.
Do you have a proper HR department or a more senior person you could ask.
Perhaps it might be a good idea to think of a well planned proposal of how you would manage your tasks from home.
Have you got a good plan for you and DP to share the childcare if there is an emergency that lasts more than a few days?
It seems short sighted that they haven't even thought about how they will react to any difficulties that might crop up - which could just as easily be to a road accident or burst appendix.. Do they really not have a policy in place for these things?

Original poster
mamasiz · 05/03/2020 20:50

@Lochroy my husband would be working in the evenings of my working days, after our little one has gone to sleep. I work part-time so only a few days a week.

OP posts:
NorthernLass75 · 05/03/2020 20:50

Are you planning on caring for your child while working from home?

Original poster
mamasiz · 05/03/2020 20:53

@DuckbilledSplatterPuff Thankyou - they’re some really useful suggestions. I have joined a union but unfortunately it doesn’t seem that they can help me as I need to have been a member for at least 4 weeks before needing their assistance.

OP posts:
LonelyGir1 · 05/03/2020 20:53

Would you be able to stop fortnightly hospital visits in exchange for being able to WFH for two weeks?

Original poster
mamasiz · 05/03/2020 20:55

@NorthernLass75 my husband will be looking after him while I’m working. My husbands line of work means he is able to work from home in the evenings on the days I need to work - just 3 days a week.

OP posts:
Original poster
mamasiz · 05/03/2020 20:57

@LonelyGir1 Sorry, not sure I understand - think I’m just very tired! The fortnightly visits are via A&E - ie not planned, just the way things are going at the moment. He gets a cold, we go in, he recovers, he catches another cold. At the moment it just seems to be happening every other week.

OP posts:
Daftodil · 05/03/2020 20:57

I'm pregnant too. My boss has encouraged me to work from home. Sorry to hear you are not getting the support when it is clearly worrying you. If you have the ability to work from home, I don't know why they wouldn't allow/encourage that.

Original poster
mamasiz · 05/03/2020 21:01

@Daftodil That’s great - although I’m having a struggle it is good to know there are understanding managers out there! Hope your pregnancy is going well 😊

OP posts:
Arrowfanatic · 05/03/2020 21:13

I read an article that said pregnant infected women in china have given birth & the baby was unaffected so that's good, however a newborn baby is a different kettle of fish. Currently whilst inutereo your baby is probably in the safest space even with you going to work.

My work arent allowing anyone time off & we're high risk due to the amount of public contact we have. Anyone who needs to isolate is currently doing so without pay. But, they are preparing for if it gets to a stage where we need to steer clear of our offices and are currently running an investigation to see how many staff have the capability to work from home (I dont, as I dont have a computer).