to insist son's dad has indirect contact only?

[Dizraeli]

Posting in AIBU as not getting much joy elsewhere and am fairly desperate for reassurance. Currently going through family court. Recently had fact finding. Ex found guilty (in family court) of racial abuse, refusal to accept son is mixed race, harrassment, shoving 3 month old at me in anger, coercive control, abusive communications, neglect of son by refusing to take him to appointment for his heart to get at me, forcefully removing him from me as a newborn, violent and aggressive behaviour towards me, his son and household objects. He has had court ordered indirect contact for a year or so. They've refused to increase this at every hearing. I want him to have indirect contact unless he completes a domestic abuse perpetrator programme. I'm terrified they're going to give him access without him addressing his abusive behaviours (he will never change). Does anyone know if offering indirect access only aka photographs until he completes a domestic abuse course/anger management is likely to go down ok in court?

Bump

I honestly don't know but I'd hope there is no way he could be granted access. How on earth can he refuse to accept his son is mixed raced? I presume your ethnicity is different to his, did he not realise this?!

I actually wouldn't be pushing for him to go on a perpetrator programme, just stick with the indirect contact. I have only known abusive men to use programmes like that to refine their tactics so their abuse isn't detected as much anymore. It should never be something that's done to "win a prize" whether that's continuing the relationship with the victim or gaining access to children they've abused.

Why are you worried about him being given direct contact when it's previously been denied?

Have you had legal advice?

I'm worried because indirect has been maintained until a fact finding hearing has been done. Now they are going to do a section 7 and decide what contact should be in place. The indirect was just interim contact

The s7 report will be to see what contact, if any, is appropriate for your ex partner to have. I'd be surprised with all the DV you say has been proved if CAFCASS suggest contact without your ex partner doing the DAPP first. The DAPP takes 6 months to do and you have to be suitable to do it. It's reviewed half way through to see how it's going. Whilst the court obviously doesn't have to do what CAFCASS say, they generally follow their advice, so if CAFCASS suggest indirect only until DAPP done, that's likely to happen.

If you aren't offering direct contact, I can't ever see a court ordering it without a final hearing taking place first (after the s7 in your case) in order to determine if it's appropriate.

Hope that helps