Redundancy please can someone help me calm down?

[OldGrinch]

We've just found out they my OH will finish work at end of June. He's being made redundant and there isn't anything else the company can offer him. I'm just here crying my eyes out, I'm currently signed off work with stress due to other matters and this news could not have come at a worst time. He's 61 so won't be able to get state pension for another 4 years and at his age highly unlikely he would ever get a comparable job in the future. I work and earn £30,000 per year he will be able to draw his private pension which will be about £10,000 a year. He will get about £18, 000 redundancy payment. Please can someone help me give my head a wobble, this will be OK won't? Our mortgage is paid off thank god. But there is things like a loan and car finance outstanding. We have two teenage DC, I am sat here thinking that we will never be able to help DC with things like uni costs or weddings or ever go on holiday again. I know I'm behind pathetic and people manage on far less but could do with a handhold just now.

He won't get his pension till 66.
If there's just the two of you with no mortgage and an income of 40k it should be ok. Lots have to get by on less. It may not be lavish but you should be fine. Go through your outgoings and check your budget. Your OH May find the big problem is what to do with himself. He could get another job, even part time or volunteer somewhere. You could start coming home to cooked meals and a tidy house.

What type of role does he do? We have just employed a lady in our office who is 61 - she was very impressive and streets ahead of the others we interviewed.

I've been made redundant one time and my dad, 3 times. Each time we've found better things. It will be fine and your normal will just become a new normal.

give yourself time, you've both had a terrible shock. Isn't the redundancy payment tax free so it'll go further. You've got plenty of options when you're over the shock to think through - now's not the time for rational plans, give yourselves time to be sad but try not to catastrophise, your DH hasn't been looking for work and failed to find anything yet.

I think quite likely he'll find a job given the crack down on migrant workers, might not be what he's used to money wise but will be better than nothing.
Can he go self employed as a consultant? My DH did and works 2/3 the hours or less - hasn't worked for past 2 weeks - for about 5 x the pay.

Failing that can he go work for another company in the same line of business? Many firms actively want more mature people - they're not as flakey. Company I work for were pleased to get somebody older but experienced.

Just breath lovely. It's a shock and horrible news, but it doesn't mean he won't get another job.

Right now, he needs you to be strong and support him. You sound like you won't struggle financially, you're just worrying about the extras. You can take stock of all that in a few days, budget, plan and start applying for jobs.

Just don't put pressure on him or the situation right now. Take some time to let it sink in and don't panic 💐

Dad was a similar age when he was made redundant. He just applied for jobs until he got a new one. It wasn’t quite the same salary as his old job but it was less stress and meant he didn’t have to draw his pension or redundancy payment early. He kept working right up until his health made it too difficult.

As for the rest- you need to overhaul your budget to take account of your reduced income. That may mean warning the kids that while you can help practically financially they will be expected to pull their own weight at uni by taking loans / working etc. Then you can save for weddings / milestones as you see fit

Sorry to soon there. As for the children and uni, no idea of funding these days but you'd have been in the same situation in a few years time with retirement. Part time or other job may help. Don't evaluate your options.

It’s the shock.
£40K, no mortgage and £18K for emergencies - that’s really good, I’d say more than most people have.
Give yourself some time, then start on your new budget. Can the car go back?

I know you're in shock and panicking, but bloody hell! You need to get a grip! You're in a MUCH better position than many, many others 🤦🏼‍♀️
You have no mortgage and £40k to live off plus £18k redundancy! I'd love to be in your position!

Are you expecting to be able to/planning to go back to work? If you can, you'll still be on £40k, and you'll have the £18k as a back up too... and you could potentially lower outgoings by giving back the car etc.

If not, it's a bit tighter. Could he set up as a consultant? He'll likely be able to find some work, but it might not be what he's used to. Would you be able to work at a less stressful job?

Perhaps give yourself a few hours to come to terms with the news and then start putting together an action plan, and keep reminding yourself that it could be a lot worse, and it's the shock that's making it feel so awful.

My husband got made redundant back in 2009 with no redundancy pay out as he hadn't been there long enough, I was earning £19,000 a year we had a mortgage, car payments and no savings. You need to calm down. £30,000 a year, no mortgage and an £18,000 pay out. Yeah you do need a head wobble

I think some of the PP are being harsh, just because they've had worse situations doesn't mean that this is any less stressful for you.
You're already signed off with stress so struggling to cope with everything prior to this happening so of course you are going to be concerned. Not only that but I imagine your husband is also worried.

I don't know about you, but when I get stressed and worried I lash out. The key thing to focus on is you are in this together, you are a team and you can get through this together.
He'll have his own feelings to handle, as will you and of course the money concerns.
Now is a great time to write a budget, you don;t have a mortgage so that's great. What outgoings do you have?
Based on that, how long will his redundancy money last?

Other things to consider, is he a fit and healthy 61 year old, does he want to work full time? Could he consider a part time job, if so, can the £18,000 redundancy top up that part time salary until he retires?

Uni, if you are on a lower income your children may get extra support - plus whilst its wonderful to want to provide these things for your kids it isn't a necessity. For now, try not to think about this aspect.

Also, what does he do? You never know the power of Mumsnet someone may know of a job opportunity

There is a lot of work out there for a skilled person. Remember, the UK has a fundamental shortage of skilled people, so anyone who does a job competently can find a position. At his age, it might be a fixed term contract, but that is not unusual.
And breathe.

My husband was made redundant in in June last year, he’s just gone back to work, it is hard but focus on the positives, make the most of spending time together as a family which you might not get the opportunity again when he goes back to work, maybe part time work. You are lucky as you have enough to tide you over for short while and your mortgage is paid off, he will get another job but it might not be the same money. Good luck xx

That’s an awful shock to get, but you can and will get by! Also, if needs be could your kids get part time jobs to fund uni? I did that and I think it really stood to me. As nice as it is to be able to help out with weddings, it’s not something you should be under pressure to do or even worrying about right now. Things will be ok!!! I’m very sorry though it’s a shite time for you both!!!

Focus on the positives.

He has been given reasonable notice
He is able to work
You have no mortgage so your home is not at risk.
You will have a pot of money, which if you don't use could be savings for the children.

However you do need to get over the shock. I imagine he will be entitled to some benefits. You could also try to live on your income for the next few months so you will know you can manage.

The likelihood is he will work again, focus on that. The UK struggles to find all types of workers, even tradesmen such as someone to cut lawns.

If your mortgage is paid off, £40k a year plus some in the bank for emergencies will be fine. I've interviewed people over 60 and several of them got the job, as they were the best candidates. I'm not naieve enough to believe it's never an issue, but there is every chance he will be able to secure more work or another job, even agency work. It will be okay OP.

everybody who is anybody gets made redundant at some stage in their career, he's done well to get this far.

You've clearly been prudent with savings etc. Kids can pay for their own frilly-frock parties and may have to accept that they'll have to work in the uni vacations and deal with the student loan. Holidays are not as pricey as you think, and now you'll be able to go for longer which can be cheaper with clever choices of accommodation and self-catering.

with loans you should really have had cover for this - so that will need some belt-tightening until paid off. Car finance is incredibly expensive, if you don't commute you don't need a shiny new car. Buy something 8-10 years old for 4k cash, all yours and less than the finance within a year.

it will (honestly) be ok.

@OldGrinch

Please do be careful and it may even be worth taking advice from - say - Citizens Advice. Or even better a union at work?

The whole point of "redundancy" is that it is the job that disappears not just getting "rid" of a person. There should be a structure in place as clearly from the size of the redundancy package it is a longstanding post.

@OldGrinch i havent gone through all the messages but get the sense that you're on a decent income and your husband has a decent notice period.

One thing to keep in mind is if your OH leaves the job before the redundancy date, he MAY not be eligible for the payment. It will have details in his consultation pack.

How much is the loan? Can the redundancy pay that off? We are living on half of what you have but have a mortgage. Your husband should look at foxed term contracts ad they can often be for a year, 5 of them will take him to retirement. Write down all your outgoings and where you can cut back. He has 3 months to save as much as possible and pay down your loan, get a grip of your anxiety and make plans.

I had to pay my way through uni and for my own wedding as do many people so your kids will be fine.

It is a big shock. If you have had a much higher level of disposable income it can be hard to know where to start at first but you have quite a few reasonable options Oldgrinch. If it was me I would write down your new annual income without including the £18000 redundancy money. First put a pen through any outgoings you can do with out. Look for better deals or downgraded packages on other things. Readjust your food budget. This doesn't necessarily mean poorer quality, it may just be a case of changing your supermarket.
If you can manage not to touch the £18000 doing these things I would put that in the bank for now and forget about it. Or you could use some or all of that money to pay off any debt or car finance. If you can't budget leaving it out of the equation for living expenses you could add £3000 per annum to your monthly budget for the next 6 years, taking you up to your husband's retirement age. That would be a last resort for me. I would aim at keeping it separate for emergencies, or for those months like December/January when things get a bit tighter.

I've been in the position where I've had to do this op and its never easy to start but once you get a different mindset it becomes a bit easier.

As your mortgage is paid off you could possibly down size. Not necessarily to a smaller house as you have teenagers at home, but maybe to a cheaper area.

You could keep that idea in abeyance in case you want to help finance your grown up kids at university or weddings ext in the future. Start managing expectations now op. If you talk about not being able to help as much as you'd like to have done now, rather than springing changed plans on them later, they will be fine. Kids are resilient and want to help and be mature if you are honest with them. Once you've got your head around all this, talk cheerfully of part time jobs they could do while at university and the idea will become the norm.

Good luck op. Hope it all works out ok.

If he can freelance then he should be fine. They will care less about age if you aren’t permanent as you are there to do a specific role. In my industry (FinTech) there seem to be quite a few short term PAYE roles available now that Banks have decided what they are doing re IR35. I am almost your DH’s age and it doesn’t seem to be an issue.

I understand your panic but you seem in a really good place to me tbh.

My DH got made redundant at the end of last year, it was a truly awful experience. My advice would be don’t panic, take a couple of weeks to accept the decision, ensure he goes to work for the remaining time, keeps positive and is professional, it a business decision - not a personal one, don’t let him take it personally. I would get an employment lawyer to ensure that everything is above board, he should be entitled to a contribution from the company. Finally remember you are a team, you are in this together, keep talking... it’s important you both talk not just him.
Good luck OP, it’s terrifying, but now our situation has hopefully changed its actually been really good for us, we are closer, we talk more, and we are focused on what’s important for us and our family.