To DS stay with grandparent while I work

[UnbalancedMum]

Bare with me I’m hesitant to post! 😅

So quick back story, I’ve started a new job as a TA, started beginning of jan, contract is currently to July with the hopes of it being renewed (all down to sen funding etc)

I’ve not had any days off yet, I’ve left early once when my dd (7) was sent home from school for being poorly.

Other half is a lorry driver but is home in the evenings/weekends.

This morning DS (6) woke with a very sore bloodshot puffy eye, no gunk! His dad recently had conjunctivitis and DS has also had a bit of a cough/cold but no temp and been fine in himself. My dad is currently on annual leave and given the situation I took DS to get some eye drops from the chemist and asked my dad to look after him and give him the eyedrops until I or my other half finished work and could collect him, DS fine in himself like I say just the bad eye! School won’t administer eye drops so I didn’t send him in and I feel they would have sent him home if they saw his eye.

Other half then makes out I should not have done that and should have had the day off to be with DS. I feel it didn’t warrant me taking an unpaid day off this early into my contract and DS would be happy with grandad who is more than capable.

AIBU to think this? Should I have took a day off?!

I do breakfast club school drop off every morning on way into work. I finish at 3pm specifically to do the afternoon school run he does it once a week when I finish later. Anymore and I have to ask him to do it. I do dinner for everyone and then sort uniforms/washing, do all the lunches etc. He starts early in the morning so generally finishes before me or at the same time and I appreciate he works very hard but I work as well and I don’t stop when I come home till everything is done. There’s been select times things have been good and he’s been very helpful but it’s very short lived then we are back to this. He’s also very much “don’t ask for help you won’t get it and if work is too much just quit”

Perfectly sensible decision, why did OH think you should take day off? If he felt like that perhaps he should have taken day off.

I suspect OH is used to you being able to drop everything for family, now you are at work he will have to step up too . However no one needed to in this instance as DC was absolutely fine with GP , you are lucky to have back up close by.

should have had the day off to be with DS

For conjunctivitis? Seriously? Yes, PPs are spot on - this man does not want you working outside the home.

It’s about more than this particular issue though, isn’t it? Time for a serious talk about shared family workload. I’ve a feeling this is only going to get worse as you gain more independence, as even if this contract is not extended there are other jobs out there that you could apply for.
Does he “allow” you to have a job as long as you still do everything else in the house?
Do not let him pressure you into leaving the job, you may need it, it will give you options if things don’t work out well in your marriage.
I have very fond memories of lying on the sofa at my grandparents house when I was too poorly for school, being spoilt with little treats like ice cream and playing board games ( I’m old so pre electronics). My children were also fortunate to have grandparents around to help out and even had a special snuggly blanket at their house that came out if they were poorly, or they would “help” grandad in his shed if they were well but just not fit for school.
Grandparents are godsends for these sorts of school absences.

And you are not asking for help with your responsibilities he lives in the house as well and they are his kids it’s called being an adult and a parent. It’s time he stepped up and stopped checking out of family life.

So your life should be staying at home while you have kids in school and be financially dependent on him?

I find that attitude worrying and I would tell him you are perfectly capable of making the right decision for your child, however if he doesn't want your dad to help, then he takes the time off or shuts up.

Having attended a conference about oppression by men against women today, I'm quite fired up about this kind of thing.

When will men like him recognise that women have a right to a career, in spite of being a mother.

Totally ridiculous of him.