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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this cheeky?

57 replies

LettyBriggs · 05/03/2020 14:37

Is this cheeky?
Two friends and I have pencilled in a weekend away in May to a European city. Two of us live in the UK, Friend 2 lives in a different European country. Flights are roughly £400 irrespective of whether we are flying from the UK or from Friend 2’s country of origin.
Friend 2 has booked her flights. Friend 1 and I have not, for no reason other than we hadn’t gotten around to it.

I spoke to Friend 1 last night re booking flights but mentioned general concerns due to corona virus. Friend 1 thinks we should hold off from booking flights until we know more about the situation in the country we are planning to visit (not Italy but is a common tourist destination for British people). We either book closer to the time, presumably the flights will be even more expensive then, plus there is the likelihood that we won’t actually be able to travel (directives from our respective work places/government etc). The alternative was we don’t book until we have clarity on whether it’s safe to do so and if we can’t travel ie we don’t go at all and that the 3 of us split the sunk cost of Friend 2’s flights. So roughly £135 each.
I didn’t respond to Friend 1’s suggestion, primarily because I don’t agree with it but now she has put it in our group whatsapp and Friend 2 has agreed. The reason Friend 2 booked in the first place – a few weeks back - was because she thought we were also booking our flights.
If the situation were reversed, I don’t think I’d expect my friends to split the cost of my flights and I’m a bit annoyed that Friend 1 made the suggestion without me agreeing to it.

However it’s one of those situations where I can’t decide if IABU or not. I suspect that I am though but wanted to garner others’ opinions.

(side note re Corona Virus, apparently flights won’t be refunded by airlines unless there’re actually cancelled)

OP posts:

Stompythedinosaur · 05/03/2020 15:30

I think you should split the cost! She only booked because you said you would too.

AryaStarkWolf · 05/03/2020 15:31

I would definitely split the cost, I like my friends

Seapoint2002 · 05/03/2020 15:34

Where are you actually going because £400 sounds expensive to Europe

IWantThatName · 05/03/2020 15:35

Well if you book with BA "To allow greater flexibility, and ensure you can book with confidence, we have removed the change fee on all new bookings made from Tuesday 3 March to Monday 16 March 2020."
Is that an option? So you can change your date if necessary.
I don't know what other airlines are doing (although Virgin are doing something similar)

tinierclanger · 05/03/2020 15:37

The reason Friend 2 booked in the first place – a few weeks back - was because she thought we were also booking our flights.

YABU.

Doggodogington · 05/03/2020 15:38

Yabu. Your friend will be £400 out of pocket as you two changed your minds. Maybe friend 1 only put it on the group as she knew if she messaged you privately your day no. Do you have form for not paying or holding back?

Runnerduck34 · 05/03/2020 15:39

Yabu, she booked her flights on the understanding that you were doing the same , so if you pull out now its only fair to split the sunk cost.

Bloodless · 05/03/2020 15:39

I think splitting the cost is fair

Brefugee · 05/03/2020 15:41

deffo cover her costs

noisehelp · 05/03/2020 15:42

picklebarrelfalls Thu 05-Mar-20 15:02:11 I'd split the cost, she booked cos she was under the impression you were booking too. If it was me, I'd be quite hurt and perhaps distance the friendship. Not for the money but for the attitude.

^This. I would be leary of booking with you or F1 again after this experience.

BackOnThatRollerCoaster · 05/03/2020 15:48

Reverse? Surely you cant be that unaware that you cant see your attitude is wrong and have to be told in a forum

abstractprojection · 05/03/2020 15:50

Friend 1 and I have not, for no reason other than we hadn’t gotten around to it.

The reason Friend 2 booked in the first place – a few weeks back - was because she thought we were also booking our flights

I’m a bit annoyed that Friend 1 made the suggestion without me agreeing to it.

YABU

WorraLiberty · 05/03/2020 15:50

I would definitely split the cost

sonjadog · 05/03/2020 15:55

Yes, you should split the cost.

InsomCho · 05/03/2020 15:58

If you're suggesting that you'd rather just book and go anyway unless the official advice changes/flights are cancelled yanbu - book your ticket and the two of you can go without friend 1.

If you don't want to book a ticket for yourself but think friend 2 should just carry the cost for her ticket even though she only booked because you all agreed to go and now you and friend 1 have backed out yab-massively-u.

user1471523870 · 05/03/2020 15:58

I'd split the cost if F2 can't get a refund from her travel insurance, but I would not put too much pressure on her.

Standrewsschool · 05/03/2020 16:00

If friend can’t get a refund, then definitely split the cost.

sillysmiles · 05/03/2020 16:02

So you would rather your friend be at the loss of all the money because you didn't get around to booking your flights? And you think that is fair?

purpleboy · 05/03/2020 16:02

Split the cost is the only fair way. I'm not going to make Nasty remarks about what kind of friend you are, I don't think that's ok. But i think if you reverse this, how would you feel?

strongswans · 05/03/2020 16:06

YABU she only booked because she thought you were too. I'd be upset at that if you were my friend. If she can't get a refund/insurance pay out if you can't go then of course you split it.

Walnutwhipster · 05/03/2020 16:07

I agree with your friends. If she can't get a refund because you can't go then you should share the cost.

LadyR77 · 05/03/2020 16:08

YABU. There is no reason for her to lose out financially because you and your friend faffed about and failed to buy tickets at the same time as she did. Insurance won't pay out unless there is a travel ban imposed by the government - it doesn't cover people just not fancying travelling any more.

soupforbrains · 05/03/2020 16:10

I feel like this is a reverse and that OP is actually friend 2 and believes this is what her friends should be doing.

In which case she'd be in the right.

If it's not a reverse though then YABVU but it might not matter anyway if further down the line you are all able to book and travel.

Original poster

LettyBriggs · 05/03/2020 16:14

Ok good to know IABU. I will offer to split also.
Hopefully we can all still go anyway.
Thank you all. No one was too harsh.

OP posts:

MrsBethel · 05/03/2020 16:19

If the trip doesn't go ahead, I think the answer here depends on exactly why...

A) If you all CAN do the trip, but you and friend 1 choose not to, then I think you should split the cost of friend 2's ticket. Because you've agreed something and then backed out.

B) If you CAN'T do the trip because of official advice etc - then I don't think you should split the cost. Because it's not your fault. In that instance it's down to your friend to choose to buy decent travel insurance or not.

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