To think I'll be single forever

[Tennisp]

Saying this half in jest but not sure anymore. Single for 7 years post divorce. Few flings and nothing more. Tried it all, haven't met anyone I want to be in a long term relationship with. Most people my age (40) are either married or settled down. The very few men I know who are single are either just wanting something casual or I'm not attracted to them. It didn't bother me before as I always thought I would meet someone eventually. After 7 years of being single I'm now wondering if I ever will.

I'm 42 and been single for 8 years and think that I'll be single too. In my case I go through periods perfectly happy with single status and periods where I'd like to be in a relationship which obviously doesn't help

Bridget Jones got her happy in the end, so there’s hope for you op.

Exactly the same @strawberrylipgloss

Haha @GinDrinker00

I was on various dating websites from end of long relationship at 30 to meeting my now fiancé and father of my son at 39. A lot of flings and dating but no one I wanted to settle down with till him and then we both just knew so it was easy. My advice (if you’re interested) is to get yourself out there, kiss a lot of frogs (but only the attractive ones!) and you never know. Trust the universe but also be proactive cause the right guy is unlikely to knock on your door!

I'm 37, was single from 20 - 32. Met somebody at work and currently pregnant and blissfully happy.
It can happen when you least expect it and when you're not looking! I wasn't looking and had already concluded that it wasn't on the cards for me.

Not that I believe you will be single 'forever' but so what if you are?
You retain full independence, you can please yourself, you don't have to account for yourself to anyone, you can do what you want, when you want (barring parenting responsibilities, if any).
Relationships (not all) are, often, hard work and overrated. Stressful.
Embrace it, I say!!
(Down off the pulpit now

Oh OP enjoy it.

Singledom sounds absolute bliss.

You're free to please yourself.

@treadlightly3 where did you meet him? Tell me your secret I need to kiss more frogs?

@LittleBoyJuly2020 that's true, always the case isn't it.

True true @Lifeisabeach09 @DuploTower I just need a man to put the bins out and do the gardening

I feel the same. I’m 31 and 4 children. They don’t see their dad and no child care so never going to meet anyone now. I do feel sad about it tbh.

I’m 43 and 9yrs single since separated from the father of my children. Until recently I wasn’t interested in dating, there’s someone at work I like but I’d never go on dating sites (not saying anything is wrong with them, just not for me). I’d also probably never live with a man until my children are grown up. No matter how much you trust someone I wouldn’t want to put my children at any risk, especially my daughter. That might sound a bit OTT but I’ve been through one step parent nightmare situation already (not abuse). I couldn’t possibly go through that again. I think that’s why I’m single, I just can’t face a step parent thing again.

@PumpkinP You seem so young compared to me. Do you work? If so, maybe you could meet someone there? Any family nearby to babysit?

I’m 30 single and have been for 5 years . Never meet any( eligible ) men no matter what I do. Men at my work are gay or married right now. Tried my luck with the only attractive guy at my old work to no avail .

Single 30-37 then met my wonderful DP (eharmony). Had 4 lovely years so far. My sister divorced at 36 (after domenstic violence) and now at 42 in a very happy relationship for a few years (met at a wedding). Keep the faith!

Im 50 and been single 10 yrs, I work nights, so no chance of being with someone lol

Its hard to see it that way. No family who can baby sit, my sister would have them in emergencies but not for me to date or have a social life. And no one else is in a position to look after 4. My youngest is only 2 so realistically I will be 40s before I can date and like you say there aren’t many men in their 40s who are single and it will be much more of a struggle when you’re in your 40s to meet someone. I’m not even sure I will bother by then.

Oh should have added I’m a carer for my oldest dd who has autism so not working at the moment so literally no hope of meeting anyone that way.

@Hellohellohi oh what did you do with old work colleague?

@Tennisp we have a "happy singletons" thread on this board. So if you want to come and chat with others who are embracing singledom (even temporarily!) then do pop by. Really nice vibe, and lots of support for the concept that you can be complete without a "better" 😂😂 half!

@tennisp it was Plenty of Fish! I had used most other sites over the preceding 9 years and improved my profile tons of times. I also read “Have him at hello” which is a very funny self-help book about how to ensure you don’t sabotage yourself on early dates. Yes to kissing lots of (attractive) frogs - it’s really not a chore

(Should say that the thread is on the relationships board- not AiBU)

@Darbs76 sounds like you had a bad experience

I have friends who have been single for more than 10 years since their (respective) divorces,one is now in a very happy relationship, the other friends are enjoying single life or enjoying dating. The key is to never give up hope but enjoy the life you have now as best you can.
An irony is that whenever I have been single I’ve been plagued by insecurity and fear that I’ll never meet someone again; then when I’m in a relationship I’ve sometimes looked back wistfully at the freedom and fun of being single.
Enjoy your life and remember you never know what’s around the corner!