To have a sneaking suspicion...?

[Gemm83]

Anyone else have a sneaking suspicion that Father's sometimes "stay on at work" in order to dodge children duties or is it just mine??!

Mine used to go to the gym before or after work. It was important. He had a discount from work, and it was good for him to stay healthy. So being out from 6am til 7pm was all part of being a healthy man, apparently.

Why blame fathers? I know I sometimes take as long as I can to walk round the car before opening the doors to get the children out and into the house just to have a breather.

Yanbu because I do it when I’m at work and DH is off and I can’t face being around for bedtime

@WinterCat

Very true, but in this particular instance I was alluding to a father!

I used to do it when my sister had my kids. Days I could have finished earlier and I didn't cos I couldn't face making dinner and bed time.

I do it sometimes

No but then our two aren’t tiny ,needy ,whiney toddlers .. if they were then yup!

My OH changed his shifts at work when it was half term to the shift where he hardly sees the DC. Apparently he had no choice in the matter
I was not very impressed .

Yabu, it's not the 1950s, if you think the work/childcare balance isnt right just tell him and work more hours yourself so he gets to deal with the same.

Just yours.
DH does more childcare than I do on the days we both work. I have just got in and he’s run me a bath, having collected DS, done tea, homework, bath and teeth already.

Yep, because many where I used to work would be quite smug about the fact, and chortle at the fact that they were going to send a really apologetic text about being kept behind at work and it would be believed. Eurgh. That said, probably the right idea, bath and bedtime after a day at work can be savage.

@TheMammothHunters

Can I have your DH please?! What a legend!!

Anyone else have a sneaking suspicion that Father's sometimes "stay on at work" in order to dodge children duties or is it just mine

I would do this if I had kids I think. I can’t imagine getting home after a long day and not being able to relax and chill out! I’d rather be at work! 😞

I’ve spent time with male colleagues who have openly admitted this. More than one sitting round the corner in their car if they might be home early.

I’m frequently the only woman at male work events in my job

I voted YANBU as agree with your suspicion, but I am woman and do this... even at nursery, I go home for another for a coffee and pick them an hour later - why wouldn’t you?!

I understand the wanting a bit of time to yourself. An extra hour before nursery pick up, absolutely. My particular scenario is when you've been stuck in doors all day with a grumpy, teething 8 month old, having to go out in the pissing hard rain, twice for school runs with a stroppy 5 year old and when your OH hears about the kind of day you have had, miraculously an hours extra work has appeared 🤔

Yep. I noticed a correlation between me complaining that the DC were being difficult and DH suddenly discovering a "meeting" that he had to go to at 5.30pm....
He never gets home before 6.30pm (bath time) but can manage to meet friends/ get to the dentist/ hairdresser etc at 6pm or earlier. FUNNY THAT.

Wanting time to yourself=fine.
Lying about things=not fine.

I wouldn't be with DP if he was like that. I was a single parent before we met and made it clear I'd happily be one again rather than put up with this kind of shit.

My DH doesn’t because his job is very much when it hits 4.30pm he leaves. However I’ve seen lots of male colleagues do this, and I have done it myself once
Or twice

not in my house

we are both 24/7 carers to 2 disabled children who are home educated so are with us 24/7 as they need constant supervision

he does just as much as me,could say more as he does more house work and is our driver

neither of us get zero time to ourself

I know lots of guys who have stayed on at work to avoid going home to family life
Sometimes I envied them 😄

I used to work 9 - 3 everyday. I'd drop the kids off at school and go straight to work, then when I'd finished work I'd leave and pick them up . I'd quite often go shopping then rush home, cook tea and sort the kids out. I also took them to swimming lessons, Brownies, Cubs etc. My H would come home just before 6pm and wonder why I was so stressed as hed been at work for 2.5 hrs longer than me and needed to relax!

Yanbu but mums do it too. There's an episode of Big Bang Theory where a character called Bernadette (who is very petite), hides in her kids playhouse when she gets hone and has some wine while her husband puts the kids to sleep

Yes, it's a schoolboy error to arrive hone before about half past eight. That's just what time everyone finishes work....

I get up at 6 am every morning and drive to work, park my car and head to a yoga class for an hour before work. It is definitely an added bonus that I don't have to get the kids up in the morning.