To ask how to approach this anxiety with my doctor

[beckywiththeshithair39]

I've never been on any type of medication for anxiety before and have been reluctant to try it as my anxiety is intermittent. It tends to only flare up in certain situations - usually when I have to do something or go somewhere out of the ordinary. Unfortunately this has gotten worse over the last few years and it's starting to impact on my life and willingness to do things.

I have spoken to my nurse practitioner before who didn't feel I was 'bad enough' to warrant medication. I specifically asked about beta blockers which I've heard are good for intermittent anxiety rather than something you have to take routinely everyday. She flat out said so and that they cause awful side effects. She recommended therapy instead which I've tried before and it didn't help. I've also tried meditation, change in diet. All the wishy washy stuff that people say will help and it hasn't.

I'm sick of this limiting the things I can do in life. In summer we have a big family holiday planned with dp family and right now I'm terrified about the car journey to the airport, the transfers, the unfamiliar surroundings. I don't know how I'll get through it. I've considered cancelling. This isn't right and I know I need to get a hold of it.

My key symptoms are panic, racing heart, nausea, prickling skin, sweating and an urgent need for the loo which in itself makes the anxiety worse. Can anyone give me any tips on how to approach this with my doctor and what to ask for?

Toomanysocks - that's a very helpful website! Thanks for sharing.

Maybe could try St John's wort? I find it quite calming, used in Germany as antidepressant

Have you made an appointment with your GP yet?

I agree with making a list of situations where you have really suffered recently, as well as the frequency and how much it is affecting your day to day life. Don’t be afraid to be as straight up and honest as you need to be.

Could also ask about CBT and I would also look into mindfulness - I’ve found it very helpful for anxiety.

Do you have enough funds to seek some counselling (or CBT) privately? The waiting lists with NHS can be ridiculous.

@beckywiththeshithair39 I have the same issue and know how debilitating it is. It's also very frustrating when loved ones dismiss it and you feel because of that you should just "get over it". No-one chooses anxiety though, just like no-one chooses an mental health condition.

I haven't always been like this - have you? Was there a trigger? I have had various meds and therapies with mixed results. I'm now wondering if it's menopause related because the anxiety is lessening now I'm that age.

I suggest you see your GP and discuss the range of treatments available to you and go from there. You could decide to try some medication for the short term, to see if it helps or not. It is up to you.

Tell the GP exactly what you told us, you're struggling. Some CBT with a low dose will really help.
Let the GP prescribe. I know different anxiety meds work differently on each person. IME steraline is better for me. My BIL uses Kalms he thinks it worked for him.

I am adamant that I do need something to help with this now as it's clearly affecting simple everyday things. I'm just wondering what they are likely to give me and what will work for me

I took Prozac (Fluoxetine) when my anxiety became overwhelming last year. The first two weeks were tough, then it resolved fairly quickly. I was on it for a few months, then tapered off. I haven't suffered from anxiety since then. It might come back, in which case I'll take meds again.

It might not work for you, in which case there are other options you and your GP can try.

I know you're worried about chemicals and side effects, but these meds are designed to help people in exactly your sort of situation, and millions of people around the world take them.

I have severe anxiety and use kalms ( herbal ) and use pillow spray, plus lush sleepy lotion and drink camomile tea at times. X

@ShawshanksRedemption no I haven't always been like this. In my youth I travelled all over the world. Road trips. Boat trips with no access to toilets for hours sometimes. It never once crossed my mind. It started after I had my dc and their dad and I split up. It was quite a toxic relationship and once I was out of it and living calmly and happily again the anxiety started. Really odd because throughout the whole horrid relationship with him, difficult births, young kids I never suffered from anxiety. The minute I get settled and happy it starts. Now I'm with my dp I am relaxed and happy in life and it's cropped up again. It's as if my subconscious has to give me things to worry about even when there's nothing there.

I will speak to my gp. Haven't made an appointment yet due to sheer lack of time but I will prioritise it. The attacks in the car are the worst because I feel trapped and there is no access to a toilet. I wouldn't say I have ibs as a condition but my anxiety certainly stirs up symptoms of it which I've read is quite common due to the fight or flight mechanism in our bodies.

I just want to be able to go places and do normal, enjoyable things without this happening to me. I have to go on a three hour car journey to the airport with dp and his family in the summer (That's is our trip is still going ahead) and honestly I'm dreading it. I don't know how I'll get through the car journey when most of the time I can't even manage half an hour. This is why I need help.

I know the medication can vary and that different things work differently for everyone. Just wondering about people's experiences as I'm also concerned about damaging my health and making things worse with trial and error medication. I did try cbt before and it really didn't help much. I didn't have a great counsellor so it could be worth trying again.

Oh and I do have propranolol for when things get particularly bad - they help with physical symptoms if you just need to get through a particular event or activity for a few hours, but aren’t sustainable long term because you need to develop good coping mechanisms (which I’ve got better at but still learning!)

Yeah the main determinant of the success of any talking therapy is the relationship you have with the therapist - so definitely try again!

Hey OP
I have this kind of anxiety too, and my body definitely responds in a fight or flight way. This is going to sound bonkers, and it probably is bonkers, but when my body starts the physical symptoms I talk to my anxiety (as if it were a limb) "well done for responding so well, I'm actually not in any danger so you can relax thank you" it works for me most times

It was quite a toxic relationship and once I was out of it and living calmly and happily again the anxiety started. Really odd because throughout the whole horrid relationship with him, difficult births, young kids I never suffered from anxiety. The minute I get settled and happy it starts. Now I'm with my dp I am relaxed and happy in life and it's cropped up again. It's as if my subconscious has to give me things to worry about even when there's nothing there This jumped out at me. I think when you are in a situation you protect yourself with fight or flight, now things are easier the pent up anxiety you held wants to be dealt with.

I take propranolol too, only when I need them though. I have exactly the same symptoms as you op, do you mind me asking how old you are?

It's shit getting older I was never like this before either.

Propranolol can lower your blood pressure so not good if it's already low.

@beckywiththeshithair39

OMG I think I've met my anxiety twin! The constant search for the loos, exits and the mounting panic of feeling trapped, particularly in cars - I completely get it. It's awful how much it ruins what should be enjoyable trips out.

I'd seen somewhere that the anxiety kicks in at calm times because it's got out of whack - your body doesn't know when to be anxious and when not to be, so is seeing what should be unthreatening things as threatening. It then ramps up the fight/flight response. When with your ex you may well have turned off the anxiety part to survive, and then it came out when you felt able to let it out, when you felt "safe".

I really hope you see the GP and they can support you. I totally sympathise.

@ShawshanksRedemption thank you very much. It's comforting to know I'm not on my own although sad to hear that others are going through it too. Do you mind me asking what (if any) medication has worked for you?

I'm on Citalopram, see a counsellor regularly, practice deep breathing exercises, and make sure I get plenty of sleep. Feeling tired and feeling unwell are triggers for me.

But I honestly think being pre menopausal was when I was at my worst!

I’m no expert. But friend who’s a GP is of the opinion meds are an absolute last resort, you’re never the same after them ... which could be a good thing or not

It took me years to pluck up courage to go to the GP and he was fantastic when I did. Saw me every week at first then fortnightly until my counselling started. I was scared of medication too but honestly the citrolapram he prescribed along with CBT sessions he referred me for have given me my life back. Make an appointment xx

I've been taking propanalol for years, my gp prescribed it . My anxiety mainly manifested in pretty much the same way as yours OP, it was mainly physical symptoms and I used to get them even when I wasn't mentally anxious but the symptoms would then make me feel anxious iykwim. It was a vicious cycle. Anyway the GP tried a few things which didn't work and I suggested propanalol after reading about it online and she agreed. It took a few weeks to tweak the optimal dose but it worked wonders. I'm not saying I never get anxiety symptoms but they're nowhere near what they were like in the past. I've never had any side effects either.

@beckywiththeshithair39 it’s not fixed it but yes I 100% feel less anxious now I’m on them. It requires a lot of hard work and understanding from yourself too. Not just like take a magic pill unfortunately 😫

But I honestly think being pre menopausal was when I was at my worst!

@ShawshanksRedemption does this mean it gets better after? I'm nearly 50 so I could be (although no other physical signs as yet).

@MT2017 Apparently yes, because your hormones settle down.