To get a group 2/3 carseat for my almost 2 year old

[Whatismynameanyway]

DS is a very large almost 2 year old, he weighs about 20kg and is very tall. He has always been big, was 10lb9 at birth and has just continued to be massive 😂 he isn't overweight, just large.

We have the joie everystage fx carseat currently which I love but is very heavy and I usually leave it in his dads car (we are separated) as I don't drive so only need a carseat occasionally if going out with friends etc.

The straps for the everystage say maximum weight limit is 18kg, which would be fine if DS wasn't so big for his age. We have switched to the seatbelt as I am worried that the straps won't hold up in a crash if he exceeds the weight limit. I don't like this but feel it may be the safest option?

Now I'm looking to get a carseat to keep at mine, for when I have unexpected trips out etc but can only find group 2/3 high back boosters that cater to his weight/height. I know the general advice is rear facing etc until 4 but how can I do this when I can't find a carseat that will work safely with my son?

Would i be unreasonable to use a high back booster? If it is a bad idea could anyone suggest a carseat that will work for a 20kg almost 2 year old?

Thanks

It's interesting, isn't it, firecracker, that not one of those 'debunking' photos actually shows the passenger who apparently fits so easily?

Sorry, cross-post @NoIDontWatchLoveIsland!

The photos don't show it because a tall passenger does not in fact fit comfortably.

I understand that children come in all different shapes and sizes but I would ask how your little one has been weighed and double check his weight on either a different scale or on a more sensitive child scale, at the doctors of health visitor, if you haven’t already. I understand he is tall and heavy for his age, but he is still only one year old and the weight you are suggesting is not just large, it’s the average weight of a child three times his age.

I had both a heavy/tall child on the second birthday and a small/light child on the second birthday, so I do know there can be a massive difference even in children from the same gene pool but I really would suggest getting a definite and not estimated weight.

Well, if you're very tall and have kids and a very small car maybe you need to rethink what car you have?
I don't know many people who are 6ft+, with or without kids, who drive an especially small car.

Surely it depends from which direction your car is hit /shunted. They show accidents where hit from behind but what if it's a head on and your child is rear facing...or hit from the side!?

"don't know many people who are 6ft+, with or without kids, who drive an especially small car."
We are a tall family and drive a small car. A fiat 500. What about all the people who drive minis. Should all tall people miraculously have sufficient money to drive big cars? What about the cost of petrol too? I think you find the majority of people drive average size cars, which are more economical.

Well, if you're very tall and have kids and a very small car maybe you need to rethink what car you have?
I don't know many people who are 6ft+, with or without kids, who drive an especially small car.

Large cars are generally worse for the environment. Not to mention much more expensive?! We bought our hatchback well before the kids came along. Many people cannot afford to buy a huge new car!!

We had a two way elite in a ford fiesta with my 6ft husband sitting in front and it was fine. They are great seats, my tall DS1 outgrew ours just before 5 and my 2 year old is now using them. The fiddly part is puting the straps on the seat in front but you can just do that once then leave them there when you take the seat out.

LoveIsland did you know that there's supposed to be 55cm between a Childs head and the back of the seat in front when FF.
So if you were using a FF correctly your DHs knees would still be jammed into the dashboard.

erfmission.com/child-seat-safty-55cm-gap/

Many ERF are around the same depth as this or even less. (My Minikid is 56cm, for example. I know someone who fits two of those in a Nissan Leaf.)

An to anyone saying the risk of a crash is low, maybe but I bet you still wear a seatbelt? Safety measures are there for a reason and personally I've attended far to many serious crashes for work to ignore them.

We've got the AxKidd Mini too. It was expensive (we paid £360) and I appreciate it's not within everyone's means. One point that may be helpful though is to note we found it's more compact than some of the other ERF so may fit your car easier than some models which can be massive

Older cars are worse for the environment in general.
So your reasons not to secure your children in the safest way are largely environmental...?

Safety of rear facing seats in all types of crash impacts, for this who wrote asking. I'm kind of not surprised that people don't know this info when they seem unable to research it themselves.

uk.mobile.reuters.com/article/amp/idUKKCN1HA2KO

I think when people are starting out with car seats, they are wanting to follow the rules etc and buy seats that they are told can be rear facing up to age 4...but when their children get to age 4 and dont fit, they realise how impracticable it is and put their child in a booster. People would have thought I was a mad woman if I had tried to put mine rear facing at that age. If others can do it, Brill....mine wouldnt have fitted. Mine are built like giraffes.

bluechameleon 👏 (But some on here won't believe you because they've not seen it themselves and will want a photo...!)

Have you looked at the Joie bold? It's forward facing but the harness weight is up to 25kg which is rare for a forward facing seat. You do need to use a tether though. Also the cost n safe Excalibur and Hudson are both forward facing harnessed to 25kgs, but after looking into the brand I'm not convinced on their safety. Joie do extra safety testing while as far as I've read the cosy n safe has only been tested to basic requirements
The bold is £175 RRP, I've seen a Facebook page called jelly tots who sell ex displays sell them for £100, and there are some floating around in the old colour for £150 on Smyth's website if you're in Rotherham, Blackpool, Inverness (and some other towns but can't remember them off the top of my head)
If you're wanting rear facing, the axkid move is £225

Can you tell I'm looking for the same type of seat at the moment 😁

And more to the point, the money spent on all these things could be better spent on other things which could have a more statistically significant impact on child safety.

':43NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

And more to the point, the money spent on all these things could be better spent on other things which could have a more statistically significant impact on child safety.'

Do give us some examples....?

Firecracker
6ft isn't 6ft 3. And different people have their height differently, longer legs vs longer torso etc.

There is clearly a serious problem with car design. If there is supposed to be 55cm behind the passenger seat, what about with adults in the back?

The reason this stuff does not get changed is the rate of car accidents is incredibly low.

Firecracker
If you are so concerned about safety why do you allow your child in a car at all? There's fundamentally always going to be a level of risk. We all do what we can to minimise risks, balancing against cost & practicality.

There are so many factors which influence your child's safety when you drive. The speed. The safety of the vehicle itself.

I hope all you who obsess over your car seats are also servicing cars regularly, driving slowly, checking tyres routinely, getting your eyes tested regularly to ensure your vision is good enough/corrected appropriately etc.

And i hope you are ensuring your children can swim & are well educated about water safety etc...

Firecracker
Swimming lessons.
Safety features around the home to prevent accidents.
First aid training to minimise deaths eg due to choking

so your reasons not to secure your children in the safest way are largely environmental...?

My reasons are similar to my reasons for driving at all.

As a parent, I have researched it, weighed up risks, costs & practicality, and chosen a safe option which is suitable for my family.

We all assess risks and make judgement calls every day. It is not black or white, and you are not qualified to judge the decisions I take for my family.

Ps. You are focussing on the wrong people. My kid rear faced til 3 FFS. Go hound the people who think they should move their heavy 12 month old into a forward facing group 1.

"hope all you who obsess over your car seats are also servicing cars regularly, driving slowly, checking tyres routinely, getting your eyes tested regularly to ensure your vision is good enough/corrected appropriately etc."
No they arent. If you listen to mumsnet, they are all happily driving at 80mph on dual carriageway!! (From another thread).

Britax maxway is good for smaller cars, rear facing up to 25kg and currently around £160 in approved online retailers.

Surely it depends from which direction your car is hit /shunted. They show accidents where hit from behind but what if it's a head on and your child is rear facing...or hit from the side!?

OMG that is so insightful! No one, and I mean no one, who works in road accident risk assessment or car safety has ever thought of that one. You really must publish this idea as widely as you can so it can be taken into account.

There are statistics on the types of road accidents that occur and therefore the likelihood of being involved in different types of accidents, all of which are taken into account when designing cars, car seats, seat belts, airbags, etc. Funnily enough there are people whose entire working lives are spent on this. The conclusion, when taking all factors into account, is that, statistically, RF is much safer than FF for all passengers. This doesn't mean that RF is better than FF in all situations, whatever the circumstances, but that is statistics for you. If you knew all the risk particulars prior to undertaking the risk, it would be much less risky because you could adjust to it - fuck it, if you knew you were going to have a car accident tomorrow, you'd choose to stay at home.

The reason this stuff does not get changed is the rate of car accidents is incredibly low.

Nope. Your chance of dying in a car accident in the US is 1 in 77, while drowning is 1 in 640 and a fire 1 in 821, so rationally you are better off concentrating on car safety issues than swimming lessons or fire alarms. And yet the risk of car accidents is subjectively minimized because of the convenience of car use and the centrality of car use in our lives.