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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a group 2/3 carseat for my almost 2 year old

107 replies

Whatismynameanyway · 03/03/2020 08:49

DS is a very large almost 2 year old, he weighs about 20kg and is very tall. He has always been big, was 10lb9 at birth and has just continued to be massive 😂 he isn't overweight, just large.

We have the joie everystage fx carseat currently which I love but is very heavy and I usually leave it in his dads car (we are separated) as I don't drive so only need a carseat occasionally if going out with friends etc.

The straps for the everystage say maximum weight limit is 18kg, which would be fine if DS wasn't so big for his age. We have switched to the seatbelt as I am worried that the straps won't hold up in a crash if he exceeds the weight limit. I don't like this but feel it may be the safest option?

Now I'm looking to get a carseat to keep at mine, for when I have unexpected trips out etc but can only find group 2/3 high back boosters that cater to his weight/height. I know the general advice is rear facing etc until 4 but how can I do this when I can't find a carseat that will work safely with my son?

Would i be unreasonable to use a high back booster? If it is a bad idea could anyone suggest a carseat that will work for a 20kg almost 2 year old?

Thanks

OP posts:
TheArtfulScreamer1 · 03/03/2020 09:37

We've got the Axkid minikid for DD which is ERF until 25kg it is expensive at £350 so perhaps not the best seat for you budget wise but when I was researching seats I came across uber kids on the web who offer interest free credit options if this is a possibility for you.

FairfaxAikman · 03/03/2020 09:37

AxKid do a no frills version of the Minikid, which is called the Move and is about £200 (so about the same price as the spin seats etc)
Both Swedish plus tested and Eg to 25kg.

I believe the cheapest 25kg seat is the two way elite, which is around £180.

I also believe the In Car Safety centre does credit if cost is an issue.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/03/2020 09:37

I'd really like to see them advertised more honestly though.

I can't find a single review of the TWE that includes the following:

  • A photo showing in a single image the seat with a tall 3 or 4 year old in it, and a tall passenger (E.g. a 6ft 2 or 3 male) in the seat in front, in a common UK hatchback such as a VW golf.

All of the reviews will show a useless photo of "legroom in the front" without stating the height of the passenger. If you use a 5ft 4 female of course they will fit more comfortably.

If rear facing is so much safer at these ages, why aren't car manufacturers shifting car design to have the rear bench completely rear facing?

The reality is that while rear facing is several times safer, the actual probability of a serious car collision in the UK is very low, so you are making a tiny risk a bit tinier. There are other changes you can make in your life that will have a bigger impact on your child's safety and you probably aren't even thinking about those.

bobstersmum · 03/03/2020 09:39

JOIE bold is harnessed up to 25kg, can get it from about £150-175

Tfoot75 · 03/03/2020 09:40

Agree that you need to save for a new seat, a seat belt isn't safe on a 2yo. Fwiw I have a fairly sensible almost 4yo, who I am not sure I trust yet with a seat belt as there's a massive temptation to keep leaning forward which is very unsafe. A 2yo would not be safe in a belt they can adjust themselves. I haven't got a book on me to check, but agree 20kg sounds very heavy, my nearly 4yo is 16kg (as I weighed her the other day to see where she was for her car seat!). That's just above 50th centile for a 4yo.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/03/2020 09:46

Fwiw I have a fairly sensible almost 4yo, who I am not sure I trust yet with a seat belt

Seriously? Every kid that i age I know is in a FF HBB and behaves appropriately Hmm

There is a real obsession on MNET with ERF, often overriding the reality of how tiny the risks are.

TabbyMumz · 03/03/2020 09:49

"If rear facing is so much safer at these ages, why aren't car manufacturers shifting car design to have the rear bench completely rear facing?"

Yesssssssss. Because when your children are too big for car seats, they have to sit on the back seat just like everyone else...do car manufacturers suddenly stop caring about them at that point!!! A car seat is a tiny bit of extra protection, that's all.

TabbyMumz · 03/03/2020 09:50

Most 4 year olds would be getting close to being in a booster seat.

99problemsandthecatis1 · 03/03/2020 09:52

TabbyMumz actually rear facing encourages kids to sit more frog-legged, which is healthier for hips than sitting legs forward.

25kg rear facing seats take up less room than most 18kg rear facing seats and less room than CORRECTLY INSTALLED forward facing seats.

Britax two way elite can be bought directly from Finland for about £175.

Booboostwo · 03/03/2020 09:52

If rear facing is so much safer at these ages, why aren't car manufacturers shifting car design to have the rear bench completely rear facing?

Because of the costs involved in redesigning the chassis (on which the seats have to be securely attached to) and because of consumer resistance. When we all move to driverless cars it will probably be a good time to make all passenger seats rear facing and it will drastically lower death rates because of car accidents.

OP, how tall is your DS? You may need an adjustable seat for a taller child if his height is comparable to his weight. How about a FF seat with an impact shield instead for a seat belt or harness?

Tfoot75 · 03/03/2020 09:53

Every just under 4yo you know sits in a car seat without a harness which is advised for over 4s only? I can assure you I'm not at all militant and have not rear faced beyond 15mo. She's only just over the lower weight for a group 2 seat so seems safer to carry on for now. Even my 6yo leans forward in her seat quite frequently until I reminder her not to!

Op I've just checked my red book (admittedly for girls) and the 99.6th centile is 16kg for a 2yo, 20kg sounds far too high for his age. I'd weight him again to double check (believe me I've read it wrong before!) and see the health visitor if it's accurate as there may be an issue.

99problemsandthecatis1 · 03/03/2020 09:56

How about a FF seat with an impact shield instead for a seat belt or harness? The safety of impact shields is highly questionable. The YouTube videos are terrifying. Combined with the forces involved in an impact on the torso, they are really dodgy.

TabbyMumz · 03/03/2020 09:59

"TabbyMumzactually rear facing encourages kids to sit more frog-legged, which is healthier for hips than sitting legs forward."
Mine couldnt have sat frog legged, their legs were too long. These seats arent very wide, so no room to sit frog legged. My kids legs would have been on the rear dash board!!! Plus they'd have banged their head trying to get in.

Booboostwo · 03/03/2020 10:00

The safety of impact shields is highly questionable. The YouTube videos are terrifying. Combined with the forces involved in an impact on the torso, they are really dodgy.

I didn't know that. They seem to be widely available by very decent car seat manufacturers like Cybex. Do you have any studies to back all this up? What YouTube videos are you referring to?
(genuine questions, not a bun fight. My DCs are old enough for seat belts, but I find the topic very interesting).

Firecracker2019 · 03/03/2020 10:00

Tabby my eldest is 91st centile on height and 75th on weight and they rear faced until they were 5. No issues at all. But we needed a seat that went to 25kg obviously. I have a Seat Ibiza. DH is 6ft but rarely drives my car anyway. We had the same seat in his car behind the front passenger seat - front passenger is usually me and I'm average height so no issues.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/03/2020 10:01

25kg rear facing seats take up less room than most 18kg rear facing seats and less room than CORRECTLY INSTALLED forward facing seats

Can you provide some photos to evidence this.

bobstersmum · 03/03/2020 10:03

Maybe take your child to be weighed properly op I bet they're not as heavy as you think? My dd is very tall and heavy (to me) she's not 3 until end of next month but she's been in 3-4 clothes for 6 months, however she's only 15kg.

Rollercoaster1920 · 03/03/2020 10:05

We were in a similar situation a few years ago. We just bought a high backed booster, it had straps and could be used with the seatbelt. I forget the brand now as it has since been passed on to someone else. it was similar to this: direct.asda.com/george/baby/car-seats/harmony-venture-deluxe-harnessed-car-seat-with-red-black-reversible-insert/050464564,default,pd.htm

Note the harness is for up to 18kg though. We switched to the seatbelt retention earlier than the age rating, but based on size and weight.

Mumset group-think will say I'm crazy but I was satisfied that my child was safe as the seat fitted well. The big downside was the lack of recline / sleep options.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/03/2020 10:08

Every just under 4yo you know sits in a car seat without a harness which is advised for over 4s only?

Yes. Most people (Me included) do not know a seat belt is for over 4s only. Is that government advice? If so there's a huge mismatch between the law, the advice, and the typical heights and weights of children.

When we all move to driverless cars it will probably be a good time to make all passenger seats rear facing and it will drastically lower death rates because of car accidents.

A reduction in the already very low rate of serious & fatal car accidents in the UK will have an imperceptibly negligible impact on the death rate.

AnnaBegins · 03/03/2020 10:10

Just seconding the Joie Bold, FF harnessed to 25kg and not expensive, got mine on offer for £125. My very tall 4 year old fits beautifully and is probably the same weight as your son.

Firecracker2019 · 03/03/2020 10:13

Rollercoaster Harmony and other generic / supermarket seats are not recommended. They pass only minimum UK testing which is actually a very low legal bar sadly.
Bigger specialist brands do their own additional safety testing to higher standards.
The seat you've recommended is not suitable for the OP as is essentially a booster seat if used without the harness.
Switching to the seatbelt fitting based on size and weight of the child totally ignores that their skeletal development is still the same as smaller children of the same age and this is key in why they need a harness at least and to be rearfacing ideally.
There's a reason why child seats with a 25kg limit exist. Some kids are big and heavy for their age but still need age appropriate protection.

Firecracker2019 · 03/03/2020 10:17

Crash test showing difference between a harnessed seat (albeit forward facing) and a high back booster seat (with a dummy representing a child older than 2/3):

Booboostwo · 03/03/2020 10:18

A reduction in the already very low rate of serious & fatal car accidents in the UK will have an imperceptibly negligible impact on the death rate.

About 1,800 people die in car accidents every year in the UK. About half of these are occupants of cars, so 900 people a year just in one country. About 1.25million people die in car accidents every year worldwide. I am not sure why you think this is a very low rate and I have mentioned only fatal accidents, not serious injuries.

In Sweden virtually no children placed in RF seats have died in road traffic accidents in decades. If there was a similar reduction for adults, why would you find this negligible?

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/03/2020 10:25

Firecracker
None of the photos on your link shows the passenger in the front seat with the ERF installed.

I want to see a picture of a 6ft3 male like my DH seated comfortably, without his legs jammed against the dashboard, in front of one of those seats, in a hatchback.