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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wibu-another hen party one!

34 replies

ChoosingHappiness · 02/03/2020 22:54

I was invited to a friend's hen party last year however she was yet to set the date. I work in a job which requires me to book time off a long time in advance and also work shifts including weekends/nights so she asked me for a list of weekends I was off in the early summer this year as she wanted to make sure I could come. Subsequently she's announced the date, it's a weekend I'm working the whole weekend so I tried to book it as leave but it was refused. When I told her (in as nice a way as possible) I said that I couldn't get the leave but might be able to get someone to swap for one of the days so I could come for one day but unlikely to get both on a weekend. She replied saying if I couldn't come to it all don't bother and if I cared about her I would make sure I got the leave etc etc including telling other people that I obviously wasn't bothered about her hen weekend. I tried to show interest and ask about what she's planning and where they've booked to stay etc but she said if I'm not coming it's none of my business. It turns out now someone has cancelled the dates so I could go for the whole weekend but her attitude makes me reluctant to go now! So wibu just not to not tell her and not to go?

OP posts:
Smurfy23 · 02/03/2020 22:58

I wouldnt tell her no. She sounds like a childish dick tbh.

Newkitchen123 · 02/03/2020 23:00

Bridezilla in the making!

Atalune · 02/03/2020 23:02

You’ve dodged a bullet there!

giggly · 02/03/2020 23:04

Frankly I’d be telling her to stick her hen party up her arseWink

tallulahhulah1 · 02/03/2020 23:05

Nope I wouldn't go, she has shown her true colours and acting up already. You can only imagine how dreadful the hen do will be from her actions.

ChoosingHappiness · 02/03/2020 23:11

Thank you! She's also said that in order to have her 'dream hen' everyone needs to spend a certain amount otherwise it won't be how she wanted and frankly it's a lot of money to spend for someone who's spoken to me like that!

OP posts:
Tellingitlikeitisnt · 02/03/2020 23:17

Well she sounds a delight!
Save your annual leave for someone who deserves it OP (ie you!!)

Don’t discuss it with her anymore. I wouldn’t be surprised if a few others get fed up with her and drop out too the rate she is going on

BackforGood · 02/03/2020 23:24

Wow, she sounds delightful
It can only end in tears.
No way would I be using precious leave, nor £££ on that hen weekend.

MrsToothyBitch · 02/03/2020 23:29

No way would I give her that weekend after being spoken to like that. Bridezilla is revving up early!

Willow2017 · 02/03/2020 23:33

No way would I be going nor giving her the time of day again.
What a selfish up her own arse bitch.
How does she think the real world outside her 'dream hen do' works? We cant just take time of work whenever it suits us if its not allowed. And especially not to suit her.
She wants everyone to prove how much they like her by spending £XXX ? Tell her to GTF!

MeanwhileAtNumber98 · 02/03/2020 23:33

I'd be telling her to stick both her hen do and her friendship! Entitled much.

partofthepeanutgallery · 02/03/2020 23:41

I'd reconsider the entire friendship ... she sounds awful

Icanflyhigh · 02/03/2020 23:45

Sod that.
I get married in a few months and my hen do will be me and a few of the girls on the karaoke down the local.
Cheap as chips, happy as Larry!

TheSerenDipitY · 03/03/2020 00:50

so you sent her, as requested, a list of weekends that you are free and she booked a weekend that you are not free?
and then finding out you cant come because its a work weekend she having a tantrum?
i wouldnt bother going, she chose to book when she knew you couldnt go

MissConductUS · 03/03/2020 00:57

What she was really hoping for was for you to pay in even if you couldn't come. If it's not financially doable without you it must have been really lavish.

She'll now be expecting a massive check as a wedding gift.

KC225 · 03/03/2020 01:12

How rude. I would not be putting myself out for an attitude like that.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/03/2020 01:17

Run a mile OP. You can never please someone like this, and you will waste a lot of your time & money trying.

FrockFrockFrockityFrock · 03/03/2020 01:33

So she made you feel bad for not being able to come but not because she wanted you there and was disappointed about that, but because she instead needs money. Right. Don't go. YANBU whatsoever, she is. She's a selfish brat.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 03/03/2020 01:41

At least she’s given you fair warning that she’s going to be hell on a stick over this wedding of hers. Stuff her and her entitled hen do, keep your weekend to yourself and give the whole thing a swerve. I’d definitely file her under “ex-friend” now!

BumbleBeee69 · 03/03/2020 02:05

Sit back and watch her perfectly planned dream Hen Do fall apart.. people will only tolerate being treated like crap for so long.... you dodged a bullet OP ☺️

Jokie · 03/03/2020 02:15

Op: follow your username and: choose happiness.

She sounds batshit. What has the amount everyone spends got to do with it?

Hillocrew · 03/03/2020 07:31

Fuck that shit. What a rude obnoxious little princess she is!
Cherish every moment of NOT being at her hen. I'm sure it will be filled with having to fork out a fortune and I guarantee she'll create drama over something or other.

Newkitchen123 · 03/03/2020 07:46

When it was my hen do my friends organised it
My only input was to say keep costs as low as possible
We had an absolute ball
Plenty said it was the best one they'd been to
You don't need a week in ibiza, you don't need cocktail lessons and all that. You need good friends who get on

puds11 · 03/03/2020 07:49

I’d be putting this friendship in the ‘expired’ bin and moving on.

GaaaaarlicBread · 03/03/2020 07:53

You’re definitely not being unreasonable! The poll is at 100% so I think we all agree !