Is it normal to get frustrated with your baby?

[EeeyMacarena]

Hi all. DD is almost a year old and a gorgeous, happy, smiley girl. However, her previously good sleeping has taken a nosedive recently and I’ve found myself getting more and more frustrated with her

Normally, she will be asleep by 7/7:30pm and will sleep until 6:30/7am. However, for the past couple of weeks we’ve been lucky to get her asleep before 11pm. That or she’ll fall asleep at 7pm but then will wake up screaming 5/6 times in the night.

Friday night/Saturday morning, she didn’t fall asleep until 2am and then was up for the day at 6:30am. Thankfully it was a weekend so we got to nap when she did later on in the day, but I’m at uni during the week and partner works full time, so if she decides to have a late night party during the week we’re like zombies the next day!

On particularly bad nights I’ve found myself getting really really frustrated with her, to the point where I’ve had to put her down in her cot and walk away, or I’ve had to give her to my partner, otherwise I was scared of what I might do. Afterwards though I feel SO guilty and like an awful mum. I love DD to bits and she’s still a very happy, smiley girl in the day. When she sits there and smiles and claps at me I feel like the biggest piece of crap for getting so angry with her

I know this bad sleeping is likely just a phase (she has just started walking, which may explain it), but I’m finding it really tough right now

Can anyone else relate to this? Am I being unreasonable for feeling this way?

What is her daytime sleep like?

And yes it's normal!

My daughter never slept through the night u till she went to school. Not once.i thought I was going to die. I used to plead,cry,shout every night I've never been so exhausted.
Its totally normal to get frustrated

It varies massively. Some days she’ll sleep well (2 one hour long naps or one 2 hour long nap), other days she won’t nap at all.

Totally normal.

Oh, and google 11 month sleep regression, might explain a few things.

As someone who’s just come out the other side of 2 years serious sleep deprivation, you are not an awful mum. You will get through this

Our DD turned 1 two weeks ago and is exactly the same! She either goes to be late then wakes up loads of goes early and wakes at around 11pm. For the last 2 nights she was up between 11pm and 3am, I’m shattered and was definitely getting frustrated. My DH and I are good at diffusing frustration when we see the other getting stressed though so that helps.

Totally normal OP, think most would admit to feeling like this at some points. But you did the right thing, you put her down somewhere safe and gave yourself the breather you needed to come back. She won’t remember any of it. Don’t beat yourself up about it. As it’s always said- sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture for a reason

On the sleep note- very common for regressions to happen when hitting milestones- walking/sitting up etc. Little brains working in overdrive wanting to practice new skills. How long has this been going on?

Just to add, our DD slept really well up until 8.5 months then had a relapse, then from 10-12 months fine now another relapse. All good fun!

It's totally normal. Its how you deal with that frustration that matters. Taking a break from her while she is in a safe place is actually recommended when feeling frustrated, you're doing the right thing

Yes 100% normal, I often say that a key thing that parenting teaches you is how to be nice to someone who is being really, really, annoying.

The silent drop off in their cot and walk away tactic is fine. Sometimes you just need a few minutes headspace.

Totally normal. You’re doing the right thing but taking a few moments out while she’s somewhere safe. I regularly count back wards from 10 when I’m having a tough day with toddler dd.

Neither of mine slept through till almost 2 years old. It is hard. Recognising when you are getting frustrated or lacking patience is key. Yanbu but it is how you manage that frustration that counts

There's a reason they use sleep deprivation as a torture method! It's awful - we went from fairly decent sleep to months of 6-8 wake ups every night, some went on for hours. I think the night I realised I'd been awake for 24 hours was an absolute low. There were some mornings I couldn't look at DS because I was so cross. Stopped when he was up and walking properly.

As someone who’s just come out the other side of 2 years serious sleep deprivation, you are not an awful mum. You will get through this

I second this. My second child has only started to somewhat sleep through the night at 2.5. It has been TORTURE on another level as every one of those night wakings were mine to deal with and mine alone - I didn't recognize myself by the end of it.

Sleep deprivation is horrendous and makes you act in ways you'd never dream normally. I've literally screamed "just fucking SHUT UP!!!" from the next room after a particularly harrowing week, which frightened the life out of her The guilt the next morning was immense. I'd never told anyone to shut up in my life, let alone my poor DD. I was simply broken with exhaustion at that stage.

You're human OP, it's normal to feel frustrated in these circumstances. I hope you get some sleep soon - I'm like a completely new person since my DD finally improved.

If it’s not normal I am a terrible, terrible mother.