Debated whether to post here or in parenting, please let me know if it should be moved. No dramatic event or misdemeanor has happened but in short, DS2 (almost 4, due to start school this coming September) doesn't seem particularly happy at his nursery and I'm wondering whether to pull him out of it or not. He has been there since he was 18 months old, and did 2 mornings per week term time only. From September last year he went to 2 full days (9-3) and 1 morning. My oldest son went there and I didn't really have any problems, but the nursery just seems to have gone a bit, I don't know, downhill. I'll try to bullet point some of the issues I have:
- He was meant to have 1 keyworker that moved rooms with him from beginning to end. He is now on his 4th keyworker, and sometimes they're not even in on the days DS2 is (not through his fault).
- Staff turnover. More and more seem to be leaving, always seems to be new faces. In the time since DS1 started (Feb 2017) to now, I would say about 5 or 6 staff have left and as many new join, probably more. Maybe this isn't high, I don't know, it just feels it to me.
- 3 rooms in total. DS2s transition from baby room to middle room was a week. So in effect he stayed in the baby room for too long, spent a week in the middle room, then straight into the preschool room. I mentioned at the time that I didn't think it was enough time to transition but didn't really get a response (email) and as he had one of his friends go with him I didn't really push on it.
- He seems to be holding his wee/not going to the toilet. I know a lot of children will say they don't need the toilet and clearly do, but the last few weeks (excluding half term) I've made him go to the toilet at pick up and it's quite clear he hasn't been for hours. This was after one incident when I collected him and he wet himself literally as soon as we got outside. Surely staff should be aware of this enough to take him rather than just leave it. Today at pick up I'd asked if he had gone recently and they all just stared at each other blankly and each said they hadn't taken him recently.
- Manager doesn't really seem to know what's going on. For example, before Christmas the pre schoolers were going to be taken out into the village to see Santa. I asked her a question about it, something about timings, and she stared at me blankly and said I should speak to DS2's keyworker. That's just one example, but surely the manager should have some idea/details of children leaving the premises.
I'm sure there are other things but these are what spring to my mind at the moment. Every morning DS2 asks if he's going to nursery that day, and is clearly relieved when I say no. He isn't upset going in, but his behaviour afterwards lately has been very testing and rude, a bit out of the ordinary (flashbacks of the terrible threes). It may just be where he is tired after a long day, but all of it just isn't sitting right with me and I don't know what to do and whether I'm being a bit too sensitive/precious or not. I'm also conscious that he starts school soon and although the nursery is not joined to the primary school he is going to, they are on the same grounds. In fact, I overheard a teacher leaving the primary school last year to work in a nursery, when asked if she was leaving to join DS2 nursery, her response was "oh God no, not there". She did say straight after "oops I probably shouldn't of said that", but she was an early years leader and had been teaching for a long time. For information, Ofsted was last carried out in January 2017 and the rating received was 'good'.
So lovely people of Mumsnet, what do you think/would you do?
YABU - keep him in, you're being a bit too sensitive and should speak to manager and raise your concerns
YANBU - go with your instinct and either reduce his hours or take him out (if so, should I find somewhere else for him to go....there is a lovely forest school nearby)
Thanks if you've managed to read this far! So as not to drop feed, not sure if it is also worth mentioning but I'm currently a SAHM with an 18 month old DD too.