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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

'OCD doesn't interfere with my daily life'. Really?!

48 replies

ALongHardWinter · 01/03/2020 17:45

I heard someone on the radio last night say this. And it annoyed me. I have suffered OCD in the past,and believe me,it DOES interfere with your daily life. I started suffering from it about 12 years ago,when I was going through a very stressful time,but thankfully, with therapy and medication,I got it under control. I still have lapses from time to time if I get very anxious,but I'm able to employ the techniques I was taught and manage to deal with it before it gets me in its grip again.
The discussion on the radio was about the Corona virus outbreak,and the woman who said this was saying that she had OCD,so washing her hands frequently and being a bit obsessive about hygiene was second nature to her. When the radio presenter asked if her OCD interfered with her daily life,she gave a tinkly little laugh and said 'Oh no,not at all'. I nearly threw something at the radio in a temper. I thought that if she could say that then she wasn't really suffering from it. Unless of course,she was just trying to make light of her problem.
But AIBU in being annoyed? If OCD has you seriously in its grip,it can seriously affect your life,and that of those around you.

OP posts:

Stereomum · 01/03/2020 20:46

My Ds has pretty severe Ocd, he spends hours every day on his rituals. He was diagnosed 7 years ago now. Horrible disorder, it has torn our family apart.

CandEB · 01/03/2020 21:42

Yanbu I developed ocd in my second pregnancy and it completely took over my life to the point I thought I would be better off dead. I would spend 5 hours a day cleaning the same things over and over and checking every door and window for up to an hour before bed. Even now I'm not free of it but I have got it to a point that it is manageable but I have to remain vigilant and constantly use the techniques I was taught in cbt to avoid relapse.
A large number of people seem to see ocd as somebody being quirky or having to have things neatly organised and not the living torture it can become to those who suffer and those around them.

Dylaninthemovies1 · 01/03/2020 22:11

I have ocd. It’s fucking horrendous and when it’s in full flight is life destroying. At the moment I am obsessing about coronavirus. Someone local has it. And I’m in absolute panic mode

breakingthebank · 01/03/2020 22:16

YANBU however this woman might be like my mother who insists her mental health problems have no impact at all on her life. In reality, she avoids a wide range of everyday activities, has regular panic attacks and her life has been deeply affected by her condition. It can be a form of denial.

Lippy1234 · 01/03/2020 22:19

OCD is a sneaker little fucker that takes over your whole life.

Russellbrandshair · 01/03/2020 22:21

I think people are misunderstanding what “doesn’t interfere with my daily life” actually means. You could do several rituals before leaving the house, go to work, have a good day, come home and then do more rituals. In that sense, it doesn’t “interfere” because you are still able to keep to your routine, home down a job, a relationship etc
Not to mention, when you’ve been doing compulsive rituals for a looong time you probably don’t see them as odd, they become so much a part of your life that it doesn’t feel “unusual”.

I don’t really think it’s up to anyone else to tell someone they don’t have OCD. There are so many types and variations and they all stem from the same source which is anxiety. That manifests in people in all sorts of ways

Elle7rose · 01/03/2020 22:32

I think that a lot of people think that you can just perform little rituals and that that is OCD. OCD involves severe anxiety and intrusive thoughts- the rituals are just an outward manifestation of the distress and intrusive thoughts- they're not the main characteristics of OCD.

FoxEars, sorry to hear that! I'm similar- I have Emetophobia with severe OCD. I have a contamination obsession and some others and it really limits my life. Have you tried CBT?

Elle7rose · 01/03/2020 22:35

Russellbrandshair, There are diagnostic criteria though- so yes, potentially it could be that someone's OCD isn't too disruptive of their life; but in order for it to be diagnosed OCD they would need to experience significant distress (e.g. severe anxiety) from their symptoms.

AluminumMonster · 01/03/2020 23:00

Per PP, when people say 'I have a little bit OCD'

This also bugs the hell out of me and I don't have OCD

Elle7rose · 02/03/2020 01:03

Yeah I wonder how 'Manic Depression' was renamed 'Bipolar'- I really want OCD renamed!

Chihaha · 02/03/2020 01:24

I struggle to leave the house in the morning because I have to check everything is turned off and I've locked the door. I'm constantly late and leaving earlier doesnt work because I spend the extra time panicking. Its infuriating and of course it interferes with my life.

h3av3n · 02/03/2020 04:25

Not everyones disorders are exactly the same, don't invalidate others experiences/ways of coping just because it isn't the same as yours. Some people do live with disorders or mental illness which they don't feel affect their daily lives especially if they've had a lot of help, if they've found the right medication etc. Also there are different ways OCD can manifest and different degrees of severity. All are valid.

Cheermeupplease22 · 02/03/2020 04:33

My daughter has hygiene related OCD and has had it for three years now. It has massively impacted her life and ours.

I also hate the kind of comment you mention in your post OP, and I especially hate when people say they are a bit OCD because they keep a tidy house or something like that. I feel like saying YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

enchantedspleen · 02/03/2020 06:07

I have anxiety with very strong OCD tendencies and oh. My. God. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. How fucking quirky it is driving back and forth up and down the road checking you haven't hit anyone. Lying in bed at night thinking screwed up thoughts over and over like a stuck record. How fucking quirky and unique it is.

orangejuicer · 02/03/2020 06:11

That person is either in denial or doesn't have OCD!

Delbelleber · 02/03/2020 06:15

Before starting my medication I'd say ocd definitely effected my daily life. Now I'm medicated i sometimes miss the motivation I had for cleaning but I don't miss the anxieties.

Ocdmumx · 18/11/2021 22:36

New here just reading thru as iv had a massive spike in my ocd and struggling, people without ocd will never understand just how challenging day to day life is being in their own head :( xx

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 19/11/2021 06:28

Surely one of the core elements of an OCD diagnosis is that it DOES interfere with daily life?

I too loathe all the ' I'm a' bit OCD' ', when they're just a bit tidy and want their cushions lined up in a specific way.

As others have said it can be massively disabling, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

VanillaAndOrange · 20/11/2021 15:52

I've never had OCD, but I'd assume this person believes it hasn't affected her life, but what's actually happened is that she's arranged her life around it, avoiding situations where it would be more of a problem. So it would have affected her life in a big way in that she'd made some big lifestyle changes to accommodate it, but once those changes were made, she didn't notice it so much any more.

Of course she might also have been talking bollocks and not had OCD at all...

Shasha17 · 20/11/2021 16:00

When people like this say they have OCD, they mean that they like cleaning.

As a fellow OCD sufferer it's frankly insulting.

TruJay · 20/11/2021 16:17

The term OCD is used so flippantly these days, it’s incredibly insulting. My ds11 has an OCD diagnosis and it all began when he was 6, his rituals are mostly germaphobic and toilet based. He wouldn’t leave the house for over 18 months without he was wearing gloves, it was hell.
Now, he will just keep his hands in his pockets and use his elbows if he can, eg to hold a door open. We have made some improvement and he sometimes now pulls his sleeves over his hands to touch things he deems dirty. We still have full days where he will barely use his hands when he isn’t in his bedroom (safe space for him). He can take 3hours+ to go to the toilet! Washes his hands many times a day, 20+ minutes at a time, until his hands bleed.
He also has many phrases he must say or he will say the same thing lots of times and make movements that he then has to do backwards too. It very much dictates his life as well as everyone else in the family and it is heartbreaking when there’s nothing you can do to help.

I hate those things you see online where there’s pictures of say a tiled floor and one tile has been laid different to all the others and the comments are “this makes me well OCD” or currently pics of peoples Christmas trees “I’m a bit OCD so it has to be perfect”.

And I know people don’t mean it maliciously but if they really knew the extent of peoples suffering with an OCD diagnosis, they really wouldn’t say it.

I8toys · 20/11/2021 16:43

I've had it since I was a child. Diagnosed in my early 20's and I'm now 49. Of course it affects my daily life but I'm so used it and so is my family that its almost become normal if that makes sense. I mask it, some days, time of the month are worse than others. Its more than just being extra clean - its debilitating, frustrating, relationship destroying. Mine manifests itself in multiple ways and the worst was with my first child. I felt that every move I made could harm him. The intrusive thoughts were horrendous. That was the worst I've ever felt. However I live with it. I've always been employed, I got a degree. And I have a wonderful family. I will not allow it to control me.

nokidshere · 20/11/2021 16:55

I totally agree with this. I dislike the way people suggest someone is lying just because their experiences are different. No one knows how other people are coping with, or suffering with, their own conditions. Having a 'simple' ritual of just washing your hands is no less of a compulsion than having a 'major' ritual that takes hours of your life.

I don't have ocd but I do have a lifelong debilitating chronic health problem that causes me problems and restricts my life. It's major for me but maybe not for others with the same problem. But how they deal with and live with theirs has no bearing at all on mine.

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