to want some me time?!

[whatthehecksausages]

I had some family visit on Friday and was a little quiet when they left, because I'd miss them and because I was tired. Both DC are sick and not sleeping too well, so I'm like a zombie.

A while after they'd left, DP took it upon himself to blame me for being quiet. If he spoke to me, I spoke back but we weren't having a full blown conversation. At 5pm Friday, he stormed off upstairs. I did kids bedtime as usual. I went to bed early myself and so DP went downstairs and slept on the sofa.

Saturday morning, the kids woke at 5 so I got up with them, went downstairs and DP went back up to bed. I brought them upstairs at 1.30pm to see him as they were asking. He was expecting me to apologise (for being quiet on friday?). I then had both kids in bathroom as currently toilet training DS... Came out a while later to see that DP had left, took the car etc. He drives, i don't unfortunately. So he was gone (not unusual, he tends to go for a while/night after an argument).

He text at 6.45pm when I was doing bedtime, to tell me not to leave the key in the door (so he could get in.). I didn't reply, but took the key out. Brought the kids down at 6am this morning and again, DP went straight upstairs to bed after sleeping on sofa.

At 1pm today, i suggested he take the kids out in the car so they'll nap and I can have some much deserved time to myself. He replied saying 'going out to watch football soon', the proceeded to shower. I was playing with the kids in the living room when he just left again, not a word. I saw the car leave and I was raging. Still am.

I messaged him saying it must be nice to be able to up and leave whenever he wants, leaving me to do everything and not having time to myself. I told him he was self centred and told him i'll be leaving the key in the door tonight.

My whole weekend has been ruined by him and i've not had a second to myself. i do now because the kids are asleep are fighting it for ages

I didn't it frustrating mainly because i can't just go anywhere if i want. and i know for a fact that when we speak about this, he'll say that I can't treat him like this.

rant over.

tell him why you were quiet.. the end

i did tell him i was feeling quiet and didn't have much to say. i told him i was fine too. he always has to keep digging when i don't want to talk or if i'm quiet, he assumes it's him and doesn't let it drop.

In the case I’d just say : darling, maybe if you wasn’t so much of a dick you wouldn’t feel like everything is your fault? Why are you constantly paranoid something is always wrong with me? Because it wasn’t about you, but you made it about you with your awful attitude.
See if he gets the hint.

Frankly he's abusive I think his reaction to you being quite for one day to check out of the relationship for a full weekend is abusive.. yes maybe you should have told him how you were felling but for him to them sulk and fuck odd for the weekend is childish and he's turning it around on you.

Talk to him, I'd be trying to get him to see your side yous both need to communicate in a more effective manner and he needs to grow up. He's a father he dosent just her to fuck off for the weekend ?

Tbf my DH goes quiet when when he's annoyed with me and I have to coax it out of him. it's frustrating and annoying trying to second-guess whether he's really annoyed about something I've done or whether he's just being quiet. It can feel like a form of control and manipulation.

It has caused a few arguments between us... But I would never react in the way your husband had. yes maybe you did stonewall him and that annoyed him but to still be seething about It 2 days later is incredibly out of order.

@GinDrinker00 that's exactly what he does. usually storm off and go on about how it's unfair that i 'treat' him, ie be quiet. it's draining

So sorry you are having to deal with this - his behaviour is totally unacceptable in any relationship - its controlling, nasty and spiteful, in other words a bully.
Reading the full text message you received what way is that to offload onto you
I have been in your position (and stayed far too long) Just a few immediate things to do:

1. Stop ringing him, it only increases his perception of his control and your dependency
2. Keep the key in the door tonight, you might 'wobble' about doing this (I did many times) but its important for your own sake to do this
3. If possible ring a friend/family member and tell them, don't cover up what's happening
4. Keep your phone charged but switched off unless your making a call.

Take care