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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Overreacting or not?

25 replies

Haircutt100 · 01/03/2020 11:51

Sorry, a Corona virus one but I'd really appreciate opinions.

Household member attends Paris Fashion Show for 3 days. Large group of people who have traveled and come from many different countries. Numbers in France now exceed 100. A recipe for Corona virus soup?

Returning home to someone with 3 autoimmune diseases (and a heart issue which isn't significant. A watch and wait issue).

Would you return to the household or stay elsewhere for two weeks?
Yabu - don't be so silly, of course it will be fine
Yanbu - it's not worth the risk, however slight

OP posts:
PlomBear · 01/03/2020 11:52

Where else would you stay OP?

WorraLiberty · 01/03/2020 11:54

I can't vote until you suggest where it is you think they should stay?

bobstersmum · 01/03/2020 11:54

I'd ask them to stay elsewhere if possible to self isolate, if there is an actual risk. Can't believe people are still travelling to other countries tbh that's why it's spreading!

Original poster
Haircutt100 · 01/03/2020 11:59

They could stay with their other parent but it would add an hour to their commute to work.

Potential options locally - short term let, not at cost to them.

OP posts:
ErrrNo · 01/03/2020 12:01

I probably wouldn't risk it with the autoimmune factor . Better to be safe than sorry

WorraLiberty · 01/03/2020 12:10

Is the other parent willing to risk infection?

Is a 2 week short-term let really an option?

Original poster
Haircutt100 · 01/03/2020 12:26

Other parent would be fine.

Short term let would be if no other option viable.

My realistic head says don't be so ridiculous but then there is more of a risk and I don't know if I should play safe. Keep going round in circles. My immune system is shite.

They wouldn't be self isolating just not near me.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 01/03/2020 12:56

They wouldn't be self isolating just not near me.

But if you genuinely think there's a chance they may have Coronavirus, they shouldn't be near anyone.

cstaff · 01/03/2020 13:07

So if you don't want them in your house obviously they can't go to work or meet up with anyone else for 2 weeks. And that's without being diagnosed.

Flutteringsatlast · 01/03/2020 13:13

My dd has just come home from Italy. Never crossed my mind to lock the door!

SleepingStandingUp · 01/03/2020 13:32

Is the other parent willing to risk infection?
So the healthy parent gets an option to refuse to see their child but the immune compromised one doesn't? How does that work?

OP how old is your child thats been away? I think you need to talk to them about staying with Dad for a few days just to be on the safe side. We're thry away for fun or work?

WorraLiberty · 01/03/2020 14:17

I think you need to talk to them about staying with Dad for a few days just to be on the safe side.

The incubation period can be up to two weeks.

So the healthy parent gets an option to refuse to see their child but the immune compromised one doesn't? How does that work?

The OP describes them as a 'household member' and 'coming home', so as unfair as it sounds I guess that's how it works - rather than 'visiting' the other parent.

On the other hand the reason for not wanting to stay with the other parent is because their commute to work would be longer.

If there's a chance they may have the virus, they shouldn't be going to work anyway, let alone commuting.

Original poster
Haircutt100 · 01/03/2020 16:08

They're not my child. Moved in with dad and I when they started working for the shorter commute.

Just seen that they've closed Le Louvre in Paris as a precaution as it'll only be a matter of time, with the worldwide visitors it attracts all being in one place. This is my argument with the fashion show and I just don't feel comfortable, with my health, risking it. However, when there is freedom of travel to attend, I feel unreasonable saying I'd rather you were elsewhere on your return Confused

OP posts:
WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 01/03/2020 16:43

I would put money on this being a step child. OP would you tell your own DC they couldn't come home?

GinDrinker00 · 01/03/2020 16:57

You wouldn’t do that to your own child.. surely? Why is step child any different?

Original poster
Haircutt100 · 01/03/2020 17:32

No different at all, I would feel the same whoever it was.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 01/03/2020 18:30

Would a biological child insist on staying at home and putting their immunocompromised parent at risk? The argument works both ways.

Is it both yours and your partners home op? Could you go elsewhere?

Original poster
Haircutt100 · 01/03/2020 18:44

Yes and I could look at going elsewhere but would have to take the younger kids. So would be 3 of us moving instead.

OP posts:
WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 01/03/2020 18:47

I have adult DC, immune disease (and respiratory issues, worrying at the moment).

I'm not asking my DC to stay elsewhere or offering them an Air B and B as this is their home and we are a family. We are reducing risks as much as we can within the home (and outside) and have plans in place if the SHTF. My DC are very aware of my issues, I know they worry about me and I know they would stay away if I asked but they would probably worry even more then.

I would in no way feel more secure, happier or more relieved if they weren't here - in fact it is the opposite. I want my DC with me. It makes me happier.

SleepingStandingUp · 01/03/2020 18:56

Op what does your dp think?
How old is DC?

Original poster
Haircutt100 · 01/03/2020 19:06

None of us know what to think tbh. The probability is everything will be fine. But for the sake of making alternative plans for the next couple of weeks is it worth it? France now seem to be clamping down on things which makes me think maybe. DC is 25.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 01/03/2020 19:22

I think at that age she's old enough to understand the risks and if she's determined to go, to be considerate about that and the impact on someone with fragile health. She should be offering to stay elsewhere

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 01/03/2020 20:24

We are only a few weeks into this. This could be the "new normal" for months or quite some time. Are you going to make her move out for that long?

Also rather than uprooting all your other DC to go with you (who will also carry germs which are a danger to your health) would you stay in the short term let on your own, to minimise the risk?

lljkk · 01/03/2020 20:35

yabu

Original poster
Haircutt100 · 01/03/2020 22:29

Unfortunately I can't go alone, otherwise I would.

Thank you all for your views.

OP posts:
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