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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask which holiday would you prefer?

94 replies

Hmmmm88 · 01/03/2020 11:09

Me and DH have saved up for a long long time for a fantastic holiday for next year.

DH has 2 wonderful son's who will be at the time we go on holiday 16 & almost 18.

We decided to have a special holiday because they are getting older and aren't as keen on holiday's as they were when they were younger.

We usually get ferry to France with motorhome and stay at very good sites with big pools flumes ect but last year they were a bit bored spent alot of the time shading under towels to see their phone screens Hmm

So what I'd like to do is a cruise on a royal Caribbean ship the specific one goes to numerous places in Italy Spain and France so we'd get to see a lot do a lot of exploring and the ships are incredible with so much to do for example surf machine football pitches swimming pools zip lining ice skating bumper cars cinema rock climbing ect ect plus you wake up in a different place everyday. It is very expensive £9,000

DH wants to go to a balearic island for 2 weeks which is hotel & swimming pool for 4 of us 14 nights between £6,500 & £8,000.

The thought of spending 2 weeks sat round a pool is my worst nightmare i like to see things and do things and i find all inclusive to structured eating sleeping sitting round a pool and i think DSS's will be bored.

It is a big decision because it's a one off and like i say we have saved a very long time. The boys like the sound of the cruise but DH just doesn't. We have to go during school holidays because next year youngest has GCSE's and eldest is in college so will also be doing exams.

So YABU = husband's holiday
YANBU = cruise

Can i also add me and eldest hate flying (the cruise is from UK)

OP posts:
TeaSoakedDisasterMagnet · 01/03/2020 11:56

Could you do something like a twin centre holiday? We looked at it for honeymoon. A week in Havana and then a week in an all inclusive resort in Cuba.

yikesanotherbooboo · 01/03/2020 12:01

Neither of these would be my first choice but my teens liked hanging around the pool so we have done villa holidays with car to explore eg Sicily/Provence/ costa brava/ Amalfi coast etc or two centre holiday eg Barcelona plus seaside villa. AI or cruise would not suit us but I can see the upside of getting to see a few highlights of the Mediterranean in one hit.
I do think though that if this has been your family's plan for quite some time your DH is being a bit unreasonable to change the goal posts now.

glitterbiscuits · 01/03/2020 12:02

With that sort of budget why don't you do something a bit different like a safari?

I've never been on a cruise but that option sounds a bit better than 2 weeks at a pool

HairyFloppins · 01/03/2020 12:05

You have a brilliant budget. I think the cruise seems a better option for the kids. I would also stay a week somewhere else as well. Get the best of both worlds then.

NailsNeedDoing · 01/03/2020 12:06

Out of the two options, I’d go for the cruise, but the thought of two weeks on a ship really doesn’t appeal to me. In your husband’s position, I’d be reluctant to spend that amount of money doing something I really don’t want to do for my main holiday, so I don’t think it’s fair for you to pressure him.

I think you need to look at other types of holiday and find something you’re both excited by, there are more than two types of holiday to choose from.

HeckyPeck · 01/03/2020 12:10

In your husband’s position, I’d be reluctant to spend that amount of money doing something I really don’t want to do for my main holiday, so I don’t think it’s fair for you to pressure him.

But her husband agreed and OP got a second job as a result to pay for the cruise, now he’s changing his mind. Surely that’s more unfair.

I agree with a PP who suggested a safari - that would get my vote!

Gizlotsmum · 01/03/2020 12:11

Why doesn't he want to do the cruise? There must be another option which keeps you all happy?

astrosurfer · 01/03/2020 12:21

Yanbu, we did that cruise with RC and it was amazing. Take hand sanitiser for before meals though, the dispensers sometimes run out and stomach bugs can spread like wildfire.

BunsyGirl · 01/03/2020 12:23

OP. Have you thought about different options that might suit everyone. For example, we did 16 nights in Southern California last summer. It cost us £9k two adults and two kids (but that was with upgraded flights). We did beaches, theme parks, studio tour in Hollywood, boat trip, museums...and lots lots more including some chilling time by the pool. Everyone body got to do things they enjoyed and we had an amazing time. I appreciate that you don’t like flying but neither do I. However, I find the short haul flights to Europe the worst. Everybody crammed in like sardines.

Original poster
Hmmmm88 · 01/03/2020 12:27

Thanks for idea's and suggestions, some are fantastic. The one lad absolutely hates flying so we wouldn't do a long haul as the stress of it would take the excitement away from the holiday otherwise safari would be our ultimate dream and first choice.

I would definitely do a week city break somewhere the boys would enjoy like Barcelona as they are football mad and then go to hotel for a week in a good location or something but i got a eye roll at that suggestion.

I am glad it's not this year at least we've got a year to come up with a plan and do something we all enjoy. Just feel a bit deflated at the moment.

Last time we flew we went on a 4 & half hour flight and DSS sobbed the whole flight and every day of the holiday at the thought of the flight home. It was a particularly bad landing and very turbulent and he's very reluctant to fly but i think a short flight he'd be ok with.

OP posts:
Mydogmylife · 01/03/2020 12:29

Cruise is really not for me, but you all discussed it and it was your choice - can you get to the bottom of why your husband has changed his mind re the cruise? Is it all the fuss re the coronovirus, or is there something else worrying him about it? Or is he just contrary?
Good luck, I'd suggest the 2 centre type idea, week on the cruise ship and a week hotel.

Original poster
Hmmmm88 · 01/03/2020 12:33

He doesn't want to do a cruise because as someone has said it's a large ship and docks at industrial ports but we already knew this that's why we included excursion costs in the budget. Just feel a bit Confused because he was very much looking forward to it and the things we'll get to see and do

OP posts:
Largeyellowdaffodil · 01/03/2020 12:39

Have you tried a USA agent for Royal Caribbean? Usually cheaper.

RC always have sales- you will probably get it much cheaper- plus with coronavirus cruises are going to be very cheap this summer I predict. They are great cruises with teens.

MadamePewter · 01/03/2020 12:42

I wouldn’t do either if them as I think as you both have such different ideas it will lead to bitterness and recrimination and disappointment all round. It’s too much money to spend on that. Leave it for a bit and see what things are like nearer the time.

As an aside, I’d also be tempted to get your DS some therapy for the fear of flying, or find a way to deal with that as it will open so many more doors for you all, and him in the future.

iklboo · 01/03/2020 12:42

In your husband’s position, I’d be reluctant to spend that amount of money doing something I really don’t want to do for my main holiday, so I don’t think it’s fair for you to pressure him.

But the OP doesn't want to do his option of two week AI sitting round a pool in the Balearics. Why is it fair to him to pressure her?

I'd do the cruise. We've been on four (from Southampton) and love them. So much to do, usually better food than an AI hotel too.

UsainDolt · 01/03/2020 12:42

OP could your husband be concerned about Coronavirus and being on a cruise and just doesn't want to mention it?

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 01/03/2020 12:46

The cruise anytime over sitting round a pool all holiday. Days at sea are relaxing and ports are wonderful. That price seems a bit steep though, for two week unless you’ve booked excursions everywhere.

ShriekingBansheela · 01/03/2020 12:51

You need to ask your sons what they want to do.

Otherwise you are spending all that money for the same outcome as your motor home holiday.

And there is so much else you could do. Inter-railing across Europe, walk the Lycian Way with a company that carries your bags, a sailing flotilla hol in the Greek Islands where you sail your own boat, diving in Gozo... all except Gozo (short flight from the mainland) accessible by train.

hopeishere · 01/03/2020 12:51

We did a RC cruise last year. Check the amenities very carefully. We didn't have flow rider. There was a climbing wall and mini golf. And a cinema. The pool area was unbelievably crowded - it was some Italian holiday week.

I liked being in a new place and sightseeing. I found the cruise to be a bit more downmarket than I was expecting.

Original poster
Hmmmm88 · 01/03/2020 12:54

@UsainDolt i suppose that is a possibility but he's not usually that much of a worrier. Normally it would be me worrying about stuff like that and him being the one who plays stuff down.

@MadamePewter definitely not going to let that happen we've said we'll leave it a month look at other stuff and suggestions sit and talk to the boys and come up with something that we all want to do.

DSS is booked on for a thing at local airport called combat flying fear so fingers crossed. It was recommended by a friend and is supposed to be very good so we'll see.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hmmmm88 · 01/03/2020 12:57

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss the cruise is 24th July for 2 weeks and price with excursions are with RC. It also includes drinks package and is only an indoor cabin. Not sure if it's more expensive because it sails from UK

OP posts:
StarbucksSmarterSister · 01/03/2020 12:59

Cruise sounds like a holiday from hell to me. Cooped up with thousands of people then let off (at great expense, the excursions will cost a LOT for all of you) to be herded rounded somewhere at breakneck speed.

Much better to get the villa, hire a car and explore the island at your own pace

Rottnest · 01/03/2020 13:11

sorry, with the best will in the world, I probably would not plan a cruise at present, until Coronavirus is spent and finished, tbh.

Alsohuman · 01/03/2020 13:11

I would never do a cruise, the thought of being in a confined space with 5,000 strangers for a fortnight makes my blood run cold. So does a fortnight AI sitting round a pool.

Can’t you see all those European destinations in your motor home, OP? Or by train?

EwwSprouts · 01/03/2020 13:15

I think if you choose cruise you will not see the boys at all. So depends if you want memories of a great holiday or memories of a great family holiday.

AI in the Balerics will be a bit lacking in culture after exploring the main city. Why not Mark Warner or similar on a Greek Island? More history to explore & sports options for teens.

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