To worry that my children might first show symptoms of Covid 19 at my ex’s and then not be able to come home?

[StrawberryJam200]

Just wondered if other mums in child contact situations were worrying as I am, especially if you don’t trust your ex to follow medical advice nor to have thought about checking he has Calpol etc in. In that case I could take supplies over... oh wait, no I couldn’t, because I’d have to self isolate anyway as having been in recent contact with them.

Children who go back and forth between two households make the isolation advice more complicated. There are a lot of them these days, wonder if the government have thought about that.

Infection in children relatively uncommon.

www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/specific-groups/children-faq.html

Thanks, yes I know that, but there is also the fact that children aren’t so good at hygiene measures and go to school where they have contact with perhaps 100s of others.

The other scenario is that my ex gets it whilst they’re with him, in a way more worrying because he might get too ill to look after them? Do I then go against official advice and fetch them home and isolate all three of us here? Think that would be my instinct.

Am not panicking, just thinking through possible scenarios and wondered what other mothers were thinking.

If he's sick and they're not, yes fetch them and self-isolate.

If they get sick there, talk to him and decide what's best. Does he live quite close by or hundreds of miles away?

Do you drive? I would think that going from your house straight into your car, driving to his house without getting out anywhere and kids then getting straight into your car and then back home would be ok in terms of self isolation?? You aren’t coming into contact with anyone else?
Might be a bit different if you have to drive 2 hours, go get petrol, stop for toilet etc.

Is your ex feckless and lazy? Would he happily release the kids to you? You don't have underlying health problems which make infection particularly dangerous (and could leave the children without their mother)?

If this happens, you could - before disclosing to any authorities - volunteer to collect your kids. Drive there, collect, drive straight home. Then inform authorities once its fait accompli.

You'll necessarily be in isolation anyway and this ensures best care for the kids.

He’s close by. I suppose I was thinking, if he was the ill one, by fetching them and moving them from one house to another I’d be technically be going against NHS advice. But then I’d have probably had enough contact with him in the previous week to be at risk anyway.

Thanks for helping me think this through. Discussing with him what to do doesn’t tend to work very well.....

PicsInRed you got it! No I’m low risk, he’s slightly higher risk.

They are saying you are at risk if you spend 15 minutes with someone. If you drove and picked them straight up, you would not be putting others at risk being out. Equally if you dropped off supplies. You would of course be upping your risk of getting it by then having your children who might catch it from their father.

You're fine to drive and get them, you're not putting anyone at risk being in your car. I'd definitely fetch them!

You may be overthinking this a little, OP.

Happy to be told that, Ethlfleda!

You could drop off supplies by leaving them outside the door

Happy to be told that, Ethlfleda!

As long as you are prepared to self isolate you can go get your kids. Door to car to door. You won't infect anyone but yourself. Public health won't object to that either.

OP, anyone of our children could show symptoms at school and I'm sure the school will call the parents to collect rather than isolating them in a classroom for 2 weeks. Try not to panic.

If a child started showing symptoms and wasnt at home then the advice would be to fetch them home and self-isolate. Whether that place was school, a friends, a grandparents or with a NRP I think the advice would be the same. You could fetch them home and then stay home with them for a few weeks.

Try not too worry about things that may never happen op. To put things into perspective, how many times have your children had flu?

Obviously as a good mum you see every horror that could happen, but please don’t lose any sleep over this, the chances of your children getting ill are slim for now at least.

I’m in my 50’s and have only had flu twice in my life.

There has only been twenty cases here in the uk so far, you’re just being anxious because that’s natural.

Keep handwashing, avoid crowds, get plenty of fresh air, exercise and a healthy diet and you won’t go too far Wrong.

OK, thanks everyone! Tinseltortoise, very good point, can’t believe I hadn’t thought of it like that!

Do you think your ex incapable of caring for your kids if they were ill? Or do you just resent that he would be looking after them and not you and would get extra time with them?
If they were ill why not just let him look after them if he's capable?

You’re panicking a bit. It’s a guideline, not the law. It doesn’t break self isolation to pick someone up in a car. Whichever house my kids got sick at, the decision would be made between parents where would be easiest to care for them.

He has a history of not following medical advice, either for them or for himself, so in that sense not capable.

children aren’t so good at hygiene
use the opportunity to teach them the importance of good hygeine?

People are being advised not to become hysterical over this. Schools closing/talk of banning public events etc has been stated to be overkill.

If your kids got sick at your ex’s what would you normally do? If you would normally fetch them then fetch them. If you wouldn’t then leave them. Serious complications have been absolutely minimal and far greater in the elderly and those with other health concerns.