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Original poster

Is this rubbish for ds's 13th birthday?

21 replies

Theduchessstill · 01/03/2020 08:34

DS turns 13 in a couple of weeks. I feel like it's a big birthday but there's nothing he really wants or needs so I feel it's going to be rather flat.

This year he's going on two expensive residential trips with school (one in the summer and one in November). Together the cost will be about £1500, which, while I can afford it because the cost is spread, it's still a lot of money and I was a bit taken aback when he brought home the letter for the second one just after going back after Christmas. I did umm and ahh a bit and he said to me then that he really wanted to go and didn't mind if he got nothing for his birthday. I certainly didn't take that literally and could afford a decent present but can't think of one!

His hobbies are cycling, cricket, history, politics and counties (latest obsession!). He has everything he needs for the first 2 (ex's family got him new bat and kit a few weeks ago and he knows that will be his present from ex) and had loads of books for the others for Christmas that he's working his way through.He had a phone upgrade for Christmas as well. We have an xbox and he only plays Fifa, minecraft and the cricket version of Fifa - has everything he needs for that.

I've got him a hoodie, a couple of maps, a power bank and that's it! It's rubbish for a 13th but I hate spending money for the sake of it and can't think of anything he'd love. I'm thinking of taking him for the weekend to a city he's been on about wanting to visit but would that be crap as a birthday present? We go away for the weekend occasionally anyway... He's also not fussed about a party and says he might go to cinema with a couple of friends. Just seems like it's going to be the most 'unspecial' birthday ever...

Any ideas?

OP posts:
Chocolatecake12 · 01/03/2020 08:39

Taking him away for the weekend will be more special than a physical present. I think you feel this birthday is more special than he does!! He sounds quite chilled about it.
If he wants to go to the cinema with his friends could you pay for them to have a meal after? Somewhere like Frankie and bennys? Or pay for them to do an escape room - they’re great fun!

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 01/03/2020 08:40

The school trips are separate and nothing to do with the birthday imo

But just meeting friends at cinema is normal at that age, my DS did this at 13. I offered to buy his friends tickets but he said it was the normal thing for everyone to just pay for themselves.

Present wise, I’d add some chocolate and sweets and maybe a voucher for Nando’s Grin

Or a nice fleecy dressing gown

Or a novelty mug

Or a band t shirt

I seem to add the above when I feel I have not got “enough” Grin

TheVanguardSix · 01/03/2020 08:40

I know how you feel, OP! You've gotten him some wonderful gifts!
You could consider...
headphones?
A pair of Vans checkerboard shoes/slip-ons?

Or maybe a weekend or day trip to a place with lots of the history he is actually into. What eras of history does he like? (I like his hobbies)

TheVanguardSix · 01/03/2020 08:42

You could book him and his mates in on a paintballing session.

BillywilliamV · 01/03/2020 08:43

That's plenty with all those trips ffs! Get him a shed load of sweets if you like.

Canadianpancake · 01/03/2020 08:45

My ds's birthday is in January and the majority of the time his main present had been a weekend away somewhere he's interested in. We've done London, Stonehenge, Harry Potter Studios etc, wherever he is interested in at the time really.

tryingtoloseweightnow · 01/03/2020 08:45

At that age I'd think he'd mostly just want to do something with his mates.
Can you ask what he'd most like to do out of (give him a list) and tell you'll pay for him and X number of friends to go.

Monty27 · 01/03/2020 08:46

Are you wanting to do something for him or for you OP?
It sounds to me like he's happy enough with your generosity and doesn't expect it let alone more.
A hug would probably go a long way.

Luxplus · 01/03/2020 08:46

I think the weekend get away sounds like an great gift, add in perhaps some fun/interesting things for him and you too see while away.

Original poster
Theduchessstill · 01/03/2020 08:48

Yeah, I forgot about sweets! Will definitely get plenty of those.

I'm worried he won't bother to organise the cinema thing. He's a bit crap like that and rarely organises meeting up with friends outside school (we don't live near any). But he seems happy and I suppose that's up to him now...

I've thought of another thing - tickets to his football team. Means I'd have to buy a ticket for ex though, but hey..

OP posts:
GreyishDays · 01/03/2020 08:50

I’d try and think about what he’ll do on the day Smile

I think that will make a birthday birthday-ish.

mintyneb · 01/03/2020 09:00

If you're really wanting to do something for him, and you live in Surrey/southeast and DS is over 1.5m tall you could get him a driving experience at Mercedes Benz World. You can do half hour in a car on their road track or around an hour I think in a 4x4 on an off road track.
Might not fit in with his hobbies but something different

MyNameHasBeenTaken · 01/03/2020 09:11

Or if you are not in southeast, look at young drivers.com they have dual control cars and do proper lessons for teens. Ds had his "party" there at 13. 6 kids, 3 cars, 3 instructors. Topped off with a picnic and a random game of musical statues for the lols

tryingtoloseweightnow · 01/03/2020 09:12

I've thought of another thing - tickets to his football team. Means I'd have to buy a ticket for ex though, but hey..

Would you not just go with him instead?

AfterSchoolWorry · 01/03/2020 09:13

Give him some cash as well, teens love cash 💸💸💸

PleaseTalk · 01/03/2020 09:15

Nothing to add, but your DS sounds like a lovely chilled young man.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 01/03/2020 09:21

My 15 year old is the same and has been since about 12. He doesn't want anything from us. It makes Christmas and birthdays really hard and, leading up to both, I'll ask him what he wants and he'll saying nothing and genuinely mean it. He also doesn't go out with mates much so hasn't done anything for his bday for the last couple of years besides going out with us for a meal and we've bought him an experience of some sort for later in the year just so he's got a "main" present to open! It was hard to start with because I always go mad at birthdays, but I've come to realise he's not materialistic and is just happy as he is.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 01/03/2020 09:24

I think its ample OP and if he would love the city trip then there you go .

My son when he was 13 loved one thing . A large plasma ball/lamp .

Happy soon to be Birthday to your Son

AlphaHotelFoxtrot · 01/03/2020 09:29

Can you take him to a cricket match? get tickets now for later in the year. If you go with him it would be a nice thing to do together, especially if it's not something you would normally do.

Alocasia · 01/03/2020 09:33

A bag/hold-all for his trips?

couchlover · 01/03/2020 09:49

Could you get him something linked to the school trips? Travel guide or books set in the citys maybe? Or food from there perhaps?

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