We are TTC but I don't know if I want a baby

[Lilshit]

I thought I did. In the beginning.

But now, 2 years on, I am not sure.

We are going from month to month and I'm no longer disappointed that I am not pregnant.

They’re a pretty long term commitment and fucking hard work if you desperately DO want one, so if you’re not sure, use contraception again for a while and re-evaluate!!

@Lilshit Could it be that the disappointment every month for the last two years of it not happening has essentially dampened your spirits but in reality you still want one?

Alternatively, maybe you just don't want a child now, you've changed your mind and that is perfectly fine but you do need to convey that to your partner. Also it's a good idea to start using contraception again because if a pregnancy happens and you still don't want it, well that will mess with your head etc.

Don't feel pressured by anyone or anything, if a child is not what you want, please speak up, tell your partner.

Best Wishes.

I stopped getting disappointed about it after a few years ttc, I think it was to protect myself from the utter shit pile of crap emotions that is infertility. Am now pg (after about 4 years!) and could not be happier.

You need to work out if you are not disappointed as you expect it, or if you are actually happy/relieved when AF comes.

I wish you the best with whatever happens

I think maybe the pain of failure is becoming too much so you've removed your desire. If that makes sense. That's understandable. I feel for you.
I wish you everything of the best.

I think you still want a child but you've made peace with the fact that it may not happen. This is a good thing. It puts you in the best position.

If you really didn't want a child you'd feel downright relieved each month that you weren't pregnant. That's a big difference from what OP described.

I'm normally the first to say "Child free is wonderful! Everyone should try it!" btw.

YANBU...I have a DS age 2 and we've been ttc now for a year and a half. The disappointment and upset is so devastating that I've had to almost just cut myself off from feeling anything to get through it. I told DH last month I just don't actually care anymore. I'm 42 in 2mths so realistically my options are stop caring or let it destroy me.