to be annoyed at being copied?

[maybelou]

I have a friend who I have been friends with for a long time but throughout our friendship it feels like every time I try something new, either a style or a hobby or something, it's just a few weeks before she's picked it up as well.

It sounds ridiculous when I write it out but it really gets on my nerves, I like to try new things and hate feeling like my toes are constantly being stepped on. She's always really good at everything she does so I know there's an element of jealousy on my part because whilst I'm shakily trying out something new and trying to build confidence, she comes along a few weeks later, decides to do it as well, and is instantly better than me! Which I find hard to take even though I know I should just focus on what I'm doing. With clothing styles it's almost worse because I hate looking the same so I feel like I have to change my style to something different (I feel like I should point out that our 'natural' styles are VERY different) - a few times she's turned up in identical outfits to mine!

I can't ever decide if I should say something about it, I don't even think she realises she's doing it, but I want to know if I'm just being unreasonable about the whole thing before I potentially cause an issue in our friendship.

And if I am - how do I stop caring about being worse than her at the things I care about? I can't just ignore as she shows me her projects etc and I have to comment.

Kill her?

Ugh people like that are so annoying. And they usually try to pass it off as their idea

Talk to her about it. I was in a similar situation and it was driving me nuts. So I spoke to my friend about it and we are still very close friends. It didn't affect our relationship at all. Or what you could also do is suggest doing some of things both of you like. For example, you starting jogging and then weeks later she starts aswell. You could both do it together.
Another thing I learned after talking with my friend about our lil issue was that she does the same thing with quite a few other friends and family. It was really harmless and she didn't even notice that she was doing it, till I pointed it out.
Life is short dear, she's your friend so just sort it out.

Very annoying! Dont tell her too much. I would find that both intense and annoying. My teen daughter says friend copies her so if nails are blue with glitter on 1 she same! Drives her mad! Runners same copies her

Is imitation not the greatest form of flattery?

Isn't this the time you are going to start a new hobby, say boxing, long distance cycling or maybe even enter a marathon. Plus don't forget your new style, Paddington bear tartan trousers with frilly shirts and a tie?

If it's annoying you so much then I'd be very tempted to change your style radically for each time you see her. eg
1 - spray highlights of wash out bright hair colour
2 - go Goth
3 - wear clashing shades of red pink and orange

Etc

Then the next time you see her say
Oh you've tried the blue hair dye too, I didn't think it looked very good, how are you getting on with it?
or
I see you've gone Goth - I thought it looked so drab and miserable, that's why I'm wearing all brights today

etc.

And don't tell her what your new hobby is

I had this for many years. We don't see each other much now so it doesn't happen and I'm not sure if it still would now that she's older.

It wasn't that she was necessarily better than me at things but she would copy things that were important to me and that made me me. They were often things I had a history with or a particular reason for liking that she didn't. It felt frustrating not to have something that was mine, so I can understand where you are coming from. I think it was because she was lacking her own identity and direction. Maybe it is the same with your friend. They do say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but I'm not sure I agree.

Very annoying, especially claiming as it their own. I’m with The Fast and The Curious on this

Perhaps she thinks you're copying her OP? Unless you are sressing particularly uniquely fashion is pretty ubiquitious and moat of us are copying something/someone else - who is to say she is not seeing the same source material that you are? Is she also copying anyone else that does the same hobby?

I don't know OP, I can't see the issue and it sounds more like it's about the fact you (admittedly) have a slight chip on your shoulder about her being better than you and just feel a need for something she doesn't have or isn't good at so you can feel you at least have that 'over' her.

There are worse crimes from friends that joining in hobbies they like the idea of or 'copying' outfits. Have you asked her about it?

Why is there an element of jealousy on your part if she is copying YOU?

She obviously looks up to you and admires you.